Good morning. It is Sunday, and the first day of Summer. I have changed the time on my one battery powered house clock. I don't need to change my watch because I didn't turn it back in the Autumn. I go through the whole of winter just deducting one hour when I check the time. Now the time on my watch is correct. The computer and car have corrected themselves.
Today is my brothers birthday. Stephen died when he was 59. He was 18 months younger than me. Today I am reflecting on his life. My memory of him is rather sketchy. We shared adventures in the village where we lived in a Council house. We each had our own friends, but sometimes we were naughty together. I remember we were sent to bed because we had been very naughty. We got a slapped bum and had no dinner that day.
We had a dog which we got from the RSPCA at Derby. We named him Nipper, after the picture of the little dog on music records.
Stephen was an animal lover. He had a pigeon loft in our back garden. Always out there looking after them. He also had a rabbit. We had two cockerels and some white mice as well. Later on after he moved to Derby he notice a house up the street had a greyhound which was always tied up in their back garden. He knocked the door and asked if he could have it. The woman said yes, then the man came home and was angry that his wife had given the dog away. He demanded money from Stephen. Stephen told him to get lost, and said he would report him to the police. The man went away. Flash the greyhound spent the last years of his life with Stephen, even though he himself had to go without food in order to feed the dog.
When we both left school we went our separate ways regarding work. Stephen had joined the Army Cadets when he was able to. He later went on to join the regular army. I remember going to his passing out parade at Stafford Barracks. Mum came with me. It didn't register with me, our little boy was now a man.
Then we lost touch for a while. Stephen moved around and so did I. I was back with mum again in her Council flat. Stephen was also back, it was a bit cramped with two bedrooms, but we managed.
Stephen's downfall was alcohol. He was a sensitive and impressionable young man and it sent him off the rails. He seemed to be following in the footsteps of our father. I blame the army for that. They taught him how to drink. The police picked him up one night, found him in the gutter, took him to the hospital to get him cleaned up before they brought him home. I left home and got a flat, to give them more room.
After that it becomes more vague. He went to live in Bah Rain, don't know why, think it might have been for work. He met a young lady there and they shared a flat together. I went for a holiday there. After not seeing him for a few years I was shocked by how much he had changed. Something had happened to his personality, and I saw first hand how volatile he was. Sad to say but I left early, got the first flight I could back to the UK.
No point in sharing details, what's past is past. He went to live in Mumbai with his now wife. Fast forward 17 years, he chose to not get in touch with us. We got an email from Ap to say he was gravelly ill and wasn't expected to live much longer. A week or so later he passed away in hospital.
Stephen what happened to you. I think of you today on your birthday.
The weather doesn't look too good outside.
Enjoy your Sunday, whatever you are doing.
Toodle pip. ilona
Handsome young man.
ReplyDeleteThat's sad about your brother I think too much drinking can sometimes turn someone into a completely different person .You were similar that you have both been very kind animal lovers in your lives that story of him looking after the greyhound really got me.He saw the dog needed help and didn't hesitate.life for some takes many twists and turns.He will appreciate his sis remembering him todayx
ReplyDeleteThe story of rescuing Flash the Greyhound has stayed with me. Remember how I rescued a little dog left alone in a back garden. I preferred to remember the good side of him, and have to excuse his personality changes as the drink took hold of him.
DeleteMy brother, while growing up, did not talk much. Getting him to respond or carry on a conversation was almost impossible. Over the years, we all went through many life changes. He tried to get licensed for construction work, but the government was shut down at the time, so it didn't happen. Instead, he worked full time in a wood working factory and did remodeling on the side, eventually quitting the factory job, to do full time remodeling of homes. He even traveled a bit for this job. Then Covid, which changed everything for many people. He had started working as a driver in another company and still doing side jobs on the weekends.
ReplyDeleteIn 2024, we needed to get our shed either tore down or repaired. He said there was still a lot of life in the shed and that it could be remodeled. We asked if he would be willing to do it and he took on the job. He is very thorough when he does this work. (BTW, early in June we lost our father. He had passed away at 91 years of age, and I was dealing with the settling of his things, while my brother and husband were working on the shed.)
In conversation, one day, he told me that in having a chat with his boss, he has asked my brother if he had any family. He had not gotten along without sister for a very long time. (that's a whole convoluted story in itself) He said yes, his older sister, who he said he thought the world of. Now, being not a previously chatty person, much less about personal feelings, I was blown away. He has changed. He is a good man. Good worker. Good provider. And now will talk the arm and a leg off anyone who wants to chat. He has many stories, just like our dad did.
I'm sorry for the loss of your brother at such a young age. He was a very compassionate and loving person that the army doesn't make room for or have an understanding of. At least, not out loud. I'm sorry that some of the decisions he made, cost him his life. Given different circumstances, it could have been so different. It's good you are able to put this in a place in your life where you know there is nothing you can do and have accepted it for what it is. Many people are unable to do that, and it eats away at them. Thank you for sharing your story. Makes us think. Take care. Ranee
Thank you for sharing your story. We are all capable of making good and bad choices. Every day is a learning curve.
DeleteYour story of your brother sounds similar to mine. My brother passed away at age 25. He made some poor choices but, fortunately, had turned his life around before he died. When I think of him, I can't help but think how our actions have impacts on others. Appx 8 year before he died, he was hit by a hit and run driver at night while riding his bicycle. He lost his front teeth but worse than that was hit in the head which resulted in a scar on his brain. My mother didn't have the money to take him to the doctor but when he started having seizures, she had no choice but to consult a doctor. The scar caused epileptic type seizures. Sadly, at age 25 he had a seizure and choked to death while my mother was at work. If the person driving the car had been careful none of this would have happened.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad story, Kay. Thank you for sharing it.
Delete❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Delete❤️ 💙 💜 💖 🌹 💐 🏵 🥀 🌹 💐 🏵 🥀 🌹 💐...
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs 🫂
xx
Received. Thank you.
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