tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post5003836421936086015..comments2024-03-19T08:35:01.699+00:00Comments on Love my life: I do, no maybe I don't. Meanqueenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-70314209228031458012016-05-25T22:05:45.343+01:002016-05-25T22:05:45.343+01:00Love my hubby ...23 years together and still madly...Love my hubby ...23 years together and still madly in loveLindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18281954570227946708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-49063099662002548502016-05-25T22:04:04.412+01:002016-05-25T22:04:04.412+01:00I love my hubby we have been together for 23 years...I love my hubby we have been together for 23 years. Good times and bad. Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18281954570227946708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-18841712625154843962016-05-25T21:04:46.771+01:002016-05-25T21:04:46.771+01:00Hi. yes, I am set in my ways as well. I would find...Hi. yes, I am set in my ways as well. I would find it difficult to live with someone. I could maybe find time to date now and again, but it would go no further. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-50742042058913434152016-05-25T21:02:52.635+01:002016-05-25T21:02:52.635+01:00Hi Anon, Thank you for your comment. It got stuck ...Hi Anon, Thank you for your comment. It got stuck in the spam box for a while, it happens sometimes. I saw a programme about asexuality the other day, interesting. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-11118969251802480942016-05-25T20:17:09.998+01:002016-05-25T20:17:09.998+01:0027 years together this year and not married, had a...27 years together this year and not married, had a few comments from parents but nothing much else, neither of us is particularly religious, and I'm not one to get dressed up or walk down an aisle etc. We are quiet people, get on well, have two children, have stayed in same house, the kids are doing well, one in uni and one thinking of it, we don't argue and I think he would do anything for me, including sitting with me for four hours in A and E at 4am in the morning recently, lovely chap. I would seriously miss him if he wasn't around. JulieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-46633433184886705082016-05-25T18:20:01.495+01:002016-05-25T18:20:01.495+01:00My ex and I were together pretty happily for seven...My ex and I were together pretty happily for seven years before our first child was born. Our relationship went downhill from his birth and continued to deteriorate after the birth of our second child. I look baxk now and cannot believe that I stuck it out until our second child was 18. The product if a broken home I did not want that for my own children (I was wrong to think like this). By the time I had plucked up the courage to get out my confidence was non existent and I barely knew who I was. Years of being undermined and bullied by a womanising alcoholic had left me a wreck suffering from depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. Ten years on I am very happily married to my soulmate. It's been a hard road to recovery and a new life but I got there. Good on you Ilona for refusing to be manipulated. I will never again allow anyone to do that to me and am now in a marriage of equals. Your choice made you happy Ilona and that's all that matters.VChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12326477975870777023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-9649122006871368582016-05-25T18:04:03.810+01:002016-05-25T18:04:03.810+01:00Hi I think saying marriage doesn't work that o...Hi I think saying marriage doesn't work that often is a bit , can't think of the word, silly maybe is the word ? But I don't want to sound rude! I am lucky enough to to be surrounded by happily married friends and family and in my job I see dedicated elderly people who have been devoted for years . Horses for courses . Love your blog you're so honest and refreshing . Jo johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05949070986665295815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-43164288943779998512016-05-25T16:57:57.414+01:002016-05-25T16:57:57.414+01:00Your reasons are logical and sensible. I think the...Your reasons are logical and sensible. I think there are many people who marry and divorce over and over when they should not be married in the first place. Not to mention the horror stories we read about child abuse from people who should never have had children. I had a few bad relationships and one wonderful marriage late in life. I spent many years on my own and am capable of functioning solo. I always say if anything ever happens to my hubby I will not remarry as he is the best of the best and now that I am older I am not at all interested in a "relationship". I am set in my ways and would not want to adjust my life for someone else. LANAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05946005009680968861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-17185159334686160582016-05-25T15:54:06.423+01:002016-05-25T15:54:06.423+01:00I feel just the same as my Mum about you and your ...I feel just the same as my Mum about you and your blog Ilona. This is a great post :-)Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04177854521955532744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-88602455390707767392016-05-25T14:44:12.904+01:002016-05-25T14:44:12.904+01:00This is my first time posting. I read your blog r...This is my first time posting. I read your blog regularly and enjoy it. I am 63 and over Memorial day(USA) it will be my 20th anniversary of being happily single. I was married for 19 years and hated every moment of it. He was an angry unpredictable alcoholic. Divorce was not something anyone in my family did and there was a lot of pressure to stay married. Finally one day I thought I really don't care what anyone thinks, if they like me or not I am done. Guess I finally grew up, haha.<br /><br />I knew I didn't want kids from the time I was in 5th grade. That was the one thing I and my ex agreed on. People kept telling me I would change, but it didn't happen. I don't "hate" kids I just(for me) don't see the point. They seem to bring a lot of stress into people's lives and are a lot of work if you do it right and then they grow up and are gone right when you could start having a relationship with them. I have a preschool niece, who I enjoy in short bursts, but I still don't feel like I missed anything.<br /><br />Recently I realized that I am asexual. I started reading on a board called AVEN and have learned a lot that I can relate to. It has helped me come to terms with who I have always been.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-40018736572089629042016-05-25T08:41:40.547+01:002016-05-25T08:41:40.547+01:00I have been in the same relationship for 26 years ...I have been in the same relationship for 26 years and married for nearly 23 with one child. Am very happy but am in no way shackled or controlled. I would run a mile from anyone like that- I won't be owned! We have the one child from choice- people in some quarters made such a fuss when I told them that there wouldn't be any more [not close family or friends I hasten to add] but I just ignored them. It was a personal decision made by the two of us and nothing to do with anyone else. It's always interesting to read everyone's different viewpoints and experiences. ArilxArilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07447764056767139963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-20635300050694895772016-05-25T08:29:54.309+01:002016-05-25T08:29:54.309+01:00Very good post IIona, marriage is not meant for ev...Very good post IIona, marriage is not meant for everyone. I was lucky and met my husband in 1954 when I was 16 and we gotmarried on my 20th birthday and had 2 children within 4 years. My husband was good and kind and I was very lucky for 28 years we shared a lot of interests but also did our own thing which I was very grateful especially when he died at 52 (we had been married 28years) I have now been on my own for a long, long time but would not want to get married again. I always say I could not be that lucky second time around, I have had 3 lives, single, married and now single again, I have lots of friends and interests and 2 wonderful children and 2 wonderful grandchildren who include me in their lives. Love reading the comments and sorry for writers who had a bad time and hope the future is good for them.<br />Enjoy the day,<br />Hazel c ukhazel c UK https://www.blogger.com/profile/01638654030434369177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-42481836699328767972016-05-25T04:54:15.898+01:002016-05-25T04:54:15.898+01:00I think your attitude is fantastic Ilona. Too many...I think your attitude is fantastic Ilona. Too many people get married, have children etc. because it's what's expected of them and not because it's what they truly want for themselves.<br />I had to laugh though, as I read your post the day I handed in my marriage notice forms at the register office! :-) XJuleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03837629817375132149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-48145286461145147102016-05-24T23:53:05.527+01:002016-05-24T23:53:05.527+01:00Never married, guess independant, own home, just a...Never married, guess independant, own home, just about paid for.men I,ve met wan,t to control me, clothes, where I go and what I do, not negotiable at all.<br />I am not anti men, if the right one comes along lovely.Kirriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03022740555969646104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-42820770048771548832016-05-24T22:27:53.735+01:002016-05-24T22:27:53.735+01:00I always knew I wanted marriage and kids and got b...I always knew I wanted marriage and kids and got both. The kids I will never regret - the marriage forever and a day. I still feel physically sick whenever I hear his name. I married quite quickly because after a 5 year very staid relationship, P seemed like fun. It wasn't long after the marriage that I realized he was just nuts. Then the yelling and screaming started with him trying to control me (well that wasn't going to happen but it wasn't going to stop him trying). Follow that with his drinking, spending all our money and the continual violence - I was so glad when he eventually buggered off and gave me an out. 7 years later he can't live without a woman and I have no desire to live with anyone. I see someone, but he has his place and I have mine. I am very close friends to a lovely Yorkshireman who feels just like I do, and can take heart from him that no I'm not weird - I'm content in my own space. As someone else said, I'm not against marriage and am so happy for those that are truly happy - trouble is I just don't see too many of those kinds. Most are telling me they wish they were in my shoes. Sad isn't it. But good post Ilona. AnnaTreadershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613671137557939083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-13443536028396963772016-05-24T22:16:52.131+01:002016-05-24T22:16:52.131+01:00Thank you for sharing your story, Anon. It must ha...Thank you for sharing your story, Anon. It must have taken a lot of courage to write that. Some men keep their emotions bottled up and are not able to express their true feelings. I think a lot of couples end up as friends sharing, for many it works. I wish you well. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-47271697993107557722016-05-24T22:13:44.407+01:002016-05-24T22:13:44.407+01:00I couldn't have said it better anonymous. 26 b...I couldn't have said it better anonymous. 26 bloody years of married misery and the last 7 years of single bliss. And here's to many more for all of us. AnnaTreadershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613671137557939083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-67335331821193009892016-05-24T22:08:37.822+01:002016-05-24T22:08:37.822+01:00That's an achievement, Rae. You are doing it y...That's an achievement, Rae. You are doing it your way, and it works. No need to change anything. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-49711297981007078342016-05-24T22:06:18.489+01:002016-05-24T22:06:18.489+01:00Something will come along, Kate. There's a who...Something will come along, Kate. There's a whole big world out there just waiting for you to explore it. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-80587012885391097742016-05-24T22:03:14.939+01:002016-05-24T22:03:14.939+01:00Sounds like you are both on the same wavelength, M...Sounds like you are both on the same wavelength, Misty. That has to be a bonus. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-10434629158704534192016-05-24T22:02:04.674+01:002016-05-24T22:02:04.674+01:00I am pleased for you Kit. You carry on as you are,...I am pleased for you Kit. You carry on as you are, and so will I. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-43093262311269515532016-05-24T22:00:50.898+01:002016-05-24T22:00:50.898+01:00Hi. I can relate to a lot of what you say. I had a...Hi. I can relate to a lot of what you say. I had a broken heart more than once. Now I just have male friends, and have no inclination to become romantically involved with anyone. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-16506395159502089032016-05-24T21:55:15.506+01:002016-05-24T21:55:15.506+01:00Yay, glad you found success in the end, Jo. Yay, glad you found success in the end, Jo. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-51014174193084424972016-05-24T21:53:48.372+01:002016-05-24T21:53:48.372+01:00You sound like a strong person to be able to hold ...You sound like a strong person to be able to hold things together, I admire you for that. Make sure you get some respite from your caring role, everyone needs some 'me', time. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-78763707482984255202016-05-24T21:47:46.081+01:002016-05-24T21:47:46.081+01:00I feel honoured that you chose to share your story...I feel honoured that you chose to share your story, Louise. Jon sounds like a wonderful husband, it was meant to be. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.com