tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post7344463308516157824..comments2024-03-19T08:35:01.699+00:00Comments on Love my life: Say what you think, say what you meanMeanqueenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-59257306730751790722012-10-07T01:16:42.785+01:002012-10-07T01:16:42.785+01:00Hi Ilona: P.S. From Chris,
I knew you wouldn'...Hi Ilona: P.S. From Chris,<br /> I knew you wouldn't mind if I said I didn't agree with everything you say, that's why I felt free enough to say it. And I'm quite sure you wouldn't agree with everything I say either. But we certainly wouldn't fight about it. I'll be back :}ChrisJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11550420299395301062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-74873626135061262652012-10-06T22:49:11.970+01:002012-10-06T22:49:11.970+01:00I`m all for honesty and openess, but I do get accu...I`m all for honesty and openess, but I do get accused of being too honest or even too blunt in my opinions, at times. I was brought up to be the way I am and make no excuses for it. So, why do people not accept that I do not wish to tell lies? My partner often says to me that I should not volunteer too much information about myself, and often this is in regards to some official papers I might have to fill out for the Dole office or such like. I don`t want to be misleading in any way and know it`s necessary to be open and upfront when deeling with official matters. Some people are just too willing to hide behind a false facade. I`d feel pretty disgusted with myself if I would do such a thing. My concience would not even allow it. Maybe, in our modern lives we are suposed to be leading, most folk just have no idea what it is to have an honest character and a clear concience anymore. I know which way I prefer to be.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09114653674812242486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-15781438972577992472012-10-06T12:29:53.957+01:002012-10-06T12:29:53.957+01:00I think people are quick to judge others. Sometime...I think people are quick to judge others. Sometimes the bigger picture will reveal the truth. I just try to be kind, help if I can and be open about myself. When people keep things to themselves how can others show some thoughtfullness? ( Is that even a word?) lolminimiser debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11903509195360845572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-35235661419085952102012-10-06T11:36:36.439+01:002012-10-06T11:36:36.439+01:00No I didn't hear about that, PP. That was a si...No I didn't hear about that, PP. That was a silly thing to do. My itinery is never finalised before I start walking, no one knows where I am at any given time. <br /><br />Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-92144369459018642922012-10-06T10:53:08.305+01:002012-10-06T10:53:08.305+01:00LOL...I can spell, however, I am having eye proble...LOL...I can spell, however, I am having eye problems and can barely see the screen when I type! Did you hear of the young woman who published her itinerary as she was making a trip by canoe along the Great Lakes here in the US? She told exactly where she would come ashore each night. Someone was waiting for her and he raped her. Practical Parsimonyhttp://www.practical-parsimony.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-91004033648751960482012-10-06T09:14:00.323+01:002012-10-06T09:14:00.323+01:00Hi Ilona What alot to think about !!! I was alwa...Hi Ilona What alot to think about !!! I was always unsure about myself and always doing things to please other people and not pleasing myself. To this day my mother will still have a go at me for the way I dress or the way I have cut my own hair (which I think looks great). These coments have always held me back, but then I saw Shirley Bassey sing in concert that song "I am what I am !" and it was a lightbulb moment for me. So what if people don't like it if I don't conform to THEIR way of thinking, that's their problem not mine. Be kind and be true to what you want out of YOUR life. after all its your life not their's. I feel better now I've got that down in writing!!! kind regards JeanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-90518815673872066202012-10-06T08:28:28.883+01:002012-10-06T08:28:28.883+01:00Wow, a lot has been happening overnight here, I lo...Wow, a lot has been happening overnight here, I love checking in early in the morning to read your comments. Thanks to PP for adding your perspective on the discussion, I do understand what you say about using emotions to manipulate people, and knowing what pushes buttons. I think some of that is learnt from childhood, and carried through to later life.<br /><br />Chris, I don't mind if you don't agree with everything I say. I would rather people pop in here, if they want to, and make comments if they want to, or not, whatever the case may be. <br /><br />Hi Christy, good haul there with the yellow stickers :o) I am a bit wary of new people I meet, but I think I can make a judgement quite early on whether I want to take it any further. At least the chat was entertaining for the short time we were in each others company, and there is virtually no chance that our paths will cross ever again. Meanqueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02705837426373680532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-46616001254144443642012-10-06T06:21:48.096+01:002012-10-06T06:21:48.096+01:00I totally agree with you. I find that being honest...I totally agree with you. I find that being honest with some people, such as letting them know you don't like being used,turns them against you as if you are at fault and they take no responsibility for their actions. bonsaimumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07684530085331629758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-52054149797673887352012-10-06T05:42:53.829+01:002012-10-06T05:42:53.829+01:00Phew! So much to think about here. I like your b...Phew! So much to think about here. I like your blog because you tell it like it is, even though I don't agree with everything you say. Lying and deceit are big no-no's in my book, but at the same time I find it hard to be open about myself with people until I know them better, but once I know them and trust them I am pretty open. I can't lie to someone just to go along, but I don't want to hurt people's feelings. I find that a difficult conflict.ChrisJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11550420299395301062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-89185116316937562702012-10-06T02:46:33.953+01:002012-10-06T02:46:33.953+01:00To "wear your hear on your sleeve" has m...To "wear your hear on your sleeve" has more to do with showing emotions rather than being an open book. It certainly started that way. Showing passion and compassion easily is a good example of "wearing your heart on your sleeve."<br /><br />This can cause two problems. 1) some people use their emotions and supposedly openness to manipulate people. Their passion for a cause often leads others to like them--the only goal in being open. Ofren, the openness can be a lucrative business--picture crying for the flock to get money that never goes to the flock. 2) People know how to push your buttons. They know your passions and will be a bully about these things. There is a saying, "He can't get your goat if he doesn't know where it is tied." Do not reveal too much so that a person can push your buttons. Revealing everything is often just "diarrhea of the mouth" or a "brain dump."<br /><br />People who "play it close to the vest" are more private and should not be excoriated for their personality, (I never heard "chest" in he saying. Exactly what is it about people that they feel like they should be privy to thoughts a person does not want to give up. <br /><br />"Playing it close to the vest" protects people. You publish so much about your walks that if a person were a mine to, he could rob your house despite neighbors. He/she could waylay you and do you harm. Many people have published their vacations and have come home to find empty houses, squatters, all sorts of nasty surprises because they chose not to use good judgment. <br /><br />People who complain that someone "plays it close to the vest" are usually irritated because that privte person won't reveal the price of his car, how much she makes, who she is dating, why they never go swimming....well, none of your damn business. We really don't have to explain ourselves to anyone. Business people often "play it close the the vest." Another saying, "Loose lips sink ships."<br /><br />In this day of the internt, telephones, computers, twitter, etc. people think they have a right to your private thoughts. The more that people with no "need to know" press me for personal information, the more I dig in my heels. Now, I will freely tell some personal things, but only if it is my idea. The person who believes that he/she is entitiled to know anything about my life is not going to get anything but grief. <br /><br />There is a limit to openness that is tolerable. Some people have no censor in their brains and just say whatever they feel without regard to the effect it will have on others. Often those people are the same ones who think they are entertaining all within earshot with private conversations.Practical Parsimonyhttp://www.practical-parsimony.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-92036163775193195012012-10-06T01:00:01.944+01:002012-10-06T01:00:01.944+01:00Hi Ilona, That post has certainly given food for t...Hi Ilona, That post has certainly given food for thought. I like your blog and look forward to your posts, you talk a lot of sense and it's entertaining too. I tend to keep myself to myself, have a few close friends that know me insides out that I keep in touch with. I would help one of them out in a second, as I know they'd do the same for me. Although, there have been times in the past that I've helped people out and not seen them for dust afterwards, which makes me kind of wary now of new people. I'll talk to anyone and have a bit of banter with them but I like my own company and I don't like pushy people. I've had people say I'm outspoken to the point of rudeness, maybe due to me being taken for granted by so many so called friends over the years, so now it's time to be a bit selfish and not be trampled on by the masses, I look out for myself and my boys. In the past I've looked out for friends but they were fair weather, not genuine like I thought they were, so been burnt a bit, so my circle is a lot smaller and my true friends I can count on one hand. No blokes for me either, done with that, my boys come first. Workmates have tried to set me up with guys, but I've set them straight on that, need it like a hole in the head. I plug away day to day and just get on with things, fairly independent sort who would rather get on with things myself than bother asking anyone to help out. Just the way I was brought up. Hope you got on alright with your painting and got it all finished up. Managed to grab some real bargains tonight at Tesco, 4p for a big chunk of turnip 5p bags of carrots and 4p spring greens, there was loads. Soup for us tomorrow. Night night. Christy Christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16889679002939684183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-10903433423007115852012-10-05T19:02:43.053+01:002012-10-05T19:02:43.053+01:00Well I quite like your blog because of the way you...<br />Well I quite like your blog because of the way you are.<br />My motto for life now is 'What you see is what you get, if you don't like it, pass on by.'<br />I have had a few poisonous friends in the past, to be honest when friendships give more pain than gain it is time to say goodbye.<br /><br />I think that life is for living, it's not a practise run for the rest of your life . . .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-41489946993721083572012-10-05T17:39:17.843+01:002012-10-05T17:39:17.843+01:00I am such a cut to the chase no nonsense person. ...I am such a cut to the chase no nonsense person. It was difficult for my husband at first as he was a beat around the bush kind of guy. He has slowly changed and says exactly what he wants to now - it still occasionally hurts a feeling but there are zero secrets in our marraige and certainly no festering situations. We have a much stronger marraige because of it. By the way I like your self done haircut and if I could do that well I would cut mine own too.Cheapchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15158208632054014311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-91266548517440545702012-10-05T17:28:09.911+01:002012-10-05T17:28:09.911+01:00Its all this TV isnt it? Everyone wants to be the ...Its all this TV isnt it? Everyone wants to be the star turn so fibbing is the only way they can stand out.<br />I hate standing out, I'd much rather be in the shadows ,it's more peaceful.Old She dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13154001132679090442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-61104887813014614022012-10-05T17:14:57.051+01:002012-10-05T17:14:57.051+01:00What a fine post Ilona. That Hub bloke seems such ...What a fine post Ilona. That Hub bloke seems such a decent chap. Mind you I do believe in his younger days his honesty could be quite painful. Luckily he learned to hold back as he got older. I was going to say matured, but that hasn't happened yet.<br />The Hub likes the way you style your hair, and he likes you too as a person. I know that for a true fact.<br />I have know idea why he is writing this as if he were someone else! john bainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15624118202659480062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-84365847060764720242012-10-05T16:12:59.116+01:002012-10-05T16:12:59.116+01:00I totally agree. I've known a few liars in my ...I totally agree. I've known a few liars in my time and once you realise they're not who you think they are (and yes, it takes me a long time too), then I feel awful. <br /><br />I am definitely one for putting my foot in it and saying the wrong thing (ask the boyfriend!) but like you I wouldn't want to hurt somebody's feelings. <br /><br />It's good to know how you stand. It stops people playing mind games with you.Bryallenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03077654752721624785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-84252924236247675302012-10-05T14:49:19.656+01:002012-10-05T14:49:19.656+01:00I can't abide lies,all they ever do is cause h...I can't abide lies,all they ever do is cause hurt and harm. Someone lies to me (I don't mean "you look nice , Jane" when I don't)then I want nothing to do with them.<br />Jane xJane and Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08102086552682194819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-87479059999375755262012-10-05T14:41:02.539+01:002012-10-05T14:41:02.539+01:00Should also have added: instead of nasty emails as...Should also have added: instead of nasty emails as well!!Gramemawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13508643741703775674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-17569968365059550432012-10-05T13:22:36.037+01:002012-10-05T13:22:36.037+01:00Funny, but Arnold Schwarzzeneger popped in to my m...Funny, but Arnold Schwarzzeneger popped in to my mind about those keeping secrets as a way of living. Over here in the US, he is promoting himself via an autobiography of sorts, ad nauseum. Anyway...I am the same as you, and I just got 'dumped' by a friend (or so I thought?) of more than 30 years. With no warning nor explanation. Saw her (awkward..and frustrating) in a shop last week; she walked past me and looked right through me. ???? I did have to allow grief (as in the death of someone) to arise privately at home and it took over a month (the dump happened this past July and I hadn't seen her 'til last week) to process that there is no longer a relationship.<br /><br />If your post or my comment can help anyone out there that thinks cutting someone out of one's life (not talking abusive person...that's another level); a friend that you no longer wish to be involved with: PLEASE, for the love of God...just tell us. Something along the lines of: "Hey...I have alot of stuff I can't explain going on right now. I need to pull back for awhile. Probably a long time. I'll be okay, but will get back in touch when I can." Does that sound awful? Well...I'd rather that than you drop me from your cell and when I text (as usual) I don't get the "Who are u?" response!!!! <br /><br />Tact and some consideration. It's not hard.<br />Gramemawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13508643741703775674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-56211280584980503122012-10-05T13:11:03.818+01:002012-10-05T13:11:03.818+01:00Tend to agree, some people are just too secretive,...Tend to agree, some people are just too secretive, I always think they've got something to hide?<br />And nobody likes liars.cumbrianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10047500383078884463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3556657999892839298.post-25611761466298505942012-10-05T12:44:57.490+01:002012-10-05T12:44:57.490+01:00A very interesting post. I am starting , very slow...A very interesting post. I am starting , very slowly, to be more up front with my feelings but sometimes it feels alien as I'm more used to keeping them to myself and letting them fester.<br />Interesting lunch - paint?<br />CarolxCarolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04332392686031711784noreply@blogger.com