How much do you love me?

I do like taking the mick, and can't resist this one. I have recieved a letter, well an advertising flyer actually, addressed to D. Richardson, that was me in a previous life. I used to run an introduction agency which I closed eight years ago, and I still keep getting their blurb. Spose I ought to tell them that I don't exist any more, but what the heck, it keeps the postman in a job.

This club must be desperately looking for customers because the flyer is about a Valentines Dinner, in a weeks time, cutting it a bit fine aren't they? Cost is £65 per couple, including live entertainment, a female artiste who must have appeared at every venue three times over in the local area. You could say, she's been round the block a bit, ha ha. Oh nearly forgot, there is also a rose for the ladies. That's a bit old fashioned isn't it, what about gay couples who want to book, do lesbians get two roses, and gay men have to fight over who is to play the lady for that night ;o)

Anyway, turn the page over and you get the menu, these posh descriptions do make me chuckle, so here is my version.

Creamy asparagus soup with salt and pepper croutons.

Asparagus soup with chunks of bread.

or

Fanned melon drizzled with honey accompanied by tropical fruit

and a lemon sorbet.

Melon with honey and a few bits of other fruit, and lemon ice mush.

or

Whitby prawn cocktail with baby leaf salad and marie Rose sauce.

Prawn cocktail.

............................

Braised British beef in real ale with a caramelised onion, wild mushrooms, and red wine sauce topped with parsnip crisps.

Beef in beer, with an onion, toadstools, and cheap plonk sauce.

Crispy parsnips chucked on the top.

or

Fillet of chicken wrapped in bacon with a creamy bacon, onion,

and taragon sauce.

Bits of chicken and bits of bacon, doused in sauce made from a packet.

or

Fillet of Scottish salmon with a prawn, dill, and lemon cream reduction. Accompanied by potato gratin and roasted new potatoes.

Salmon and a couple of prawns splashed with gunge. Mashed and roast spuds.

...........................

Choux profiteroles filled with chantilly cream, smothered in chocolate sauce.

Cakes stuffed with cream, and chocolate on the top.

or

Tart au citron with a vanilla pod ice cream

Fruit flan and ice cream.

or

Cheese and biscuit platter.

Cream crackers and rubber cheese slices.

and

Freshly filtered coffee, or tea, with chocolates.

Coffee and tea out of the machine, with an After Eight to share.

Cost per couple eating from my menu......£10. Book now for 2012 ;o))

My simple mind becomes ever more simple.........it's the little things.......