Hello. Have I ever told you how much I hate the term, 'settle down?' I have just read this article about an Australian woman who took her young son out of school to take him travelling the world. She wanted to spend more time with him and self educate him. Somewhere in the comments someone asks how he will be able to settle down as an adult. Well, I was spitting feathers.
Where are the rules about settling down, does it happen when you reach a certain age? Is it something that is inevitable, the normal pathway from childhood, teenage years, and finally adulthood? I don't think so. The term 'settling down' says to me, stifling creativity. It says following the flock towards a life of humdrum existence. Ok if you choose to settle down as an individual later on and you are happy with that, but I love it when someone comes out and breaks the mould to follow their dreams.
Individuality is a kind of roller coaster ride. It's not safe, it's not steady, and it's not boring. I love going with my gut instinct, as this mother has done with her son. She has broken away from convention to do what she thinks is the best for the two of them. Her son looks happy, they are having the adventure of a lifetime, surely that has to be better than her being trapped in a stressful job, and him sitting for hours at a school desk trying to cram enough facts into his head to pass exams.
There are no rules for education, there is no starting date, and no finishing date. It begins the moment you are born, and ends upon death. Conventional education chiefs may think they know best, but sitting in a classroom does not work for everyone.
Have a look at their blog, actually it is a very good read, and see for yourself if this lad is missing out on anything. Who knows where his career path will take him. The world is full of possibilities, and he is out there grasping every exciting minute of it.
Thank you for popping in, I'll get on with some jobs now. We'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip
I hate to be called Mrs when I am actually a Miss - just because I am in my mid 50s people assume I must be married - I always put them straight. Also, after my spinal fusion op, I was told to give up being active and to mainly sit - what an awful mess I would be in if I'd listened to that. Definitely grasp every opportunity and adapt to whatever situation you find yourself in. Natalie
ReplyDeleteI get that too and it gets on my nerves as well. I always stop and make them (usually receptionists) check their paperwork! Good for that mother, her son will have much to thank her for in years to come.
DeleteVery wise not to listen to that advice. My mother-in-law had a spinal fusion in the late 1960s and carried on as normal. She celebrates her 90th birthday in a few weeks time.
DeleteJoan (Wales)
I always say I am a Mrs without the husband as I am divorced.
DeleteSo neither Mrs or Miss.
Eve
When they say Mrs to me I always say no that's my mother you want. Drives me potty.
DeleteThis lady seems to be doing a great job. Not sure every parent has the capability and self discipline to combine travel with education. Think you are right about lifelong education, too, and the conventional sausage-machine education system.
ReplyDeleteI think you are reading an awful lot into the words "settle down" ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's how I see it.
DeleteWhy do we have to fit into square boxes.? I have been doing my own thing for years but it really does upset some people.
DeleteEve
I admire her and also believe that travelling the world is an education in itself. I don't know if I would have the courage to do something like that. My daughter packed her job in when she was about 19 and went to travel around Central/South America with a friend for three months. I think she feels it was one of the best things she's done. She certainly has an understanding of the people in the villages/small towns that don't have anything and is always championing their cause. She wouldn't have felt the same if she'd only gone on holiday for a couple of weeks. I say well done to that mum for her bravery and hope she can fulfill her dream of 100 countries. If it doesn't give her son an education it will certainly give him confidence.
ReplyDeleteJoan (Wales)
One young man in Appalachia was only formally educated to age 9. But a female union activist, Mother Jones, gave him a book. Then he got more and more books and read them. Turned out he became one of our countries most effective union activists. Don't let your past dictate your future and keep on learning. Ana USA
ReplyDeleteHi Joan, my 23 year old grand daughter travelled on her own but met up with a group of like minded people to volunteer in Borneo for 3 months and is going on Thursday for a months camping trip round America staying in 13 states. She worked and saved very hard after reaching her goal in the fashion retail trade. She has first hand knowledge of how poor but proud and happy the people live. Glad your daughter had a good time.
ReplyDeleteHazel c uk
What a coincdence, I just looked on your profile and my daughter is a Lauren too.
DeleteJoan (Wales)
We have a young Mum at church and she homeschools her 7 year old daughter and the lass, is bright, chatters to everyone, very creative, does readings in church, has a little garden where she grows flowers and vegetables, she seems to be a lot happier than some of the children who attend the local primary school which is always changing staff and
ReplyDeletewhere English is the second language.
Hazel c uk
Very interesting post. I think people are scared of stepping out of the boxes sometimes. You only have one life so why waste it. I am with you Ilona good for her, he is one lucky boy. Going to follow her blog. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteEve
I don't think all mothers have the means (not only financially) to be able to do this but well done to those who can and do.
ReplyDeleteWhat about you Ilona, you're "settled down" in your home and with your routines, what would you have done differently if you could turn the clock back 40 years?
I would have travelled the world and not got "settled down" so soon. Perhaps not at all!
The thing all human beings have to deal with throughout their lives is that to be different or to do things different to the norm is going to attract a lot of negativity. We all (at some level) judge others by our own way of living and we all have deal with a certain amount of negative feedback ourselves. You have to live life to your own philosophy and develop critical thinking when others try and derail us. It's not easy but important if we are to live full and happy lives.
ReplyDeleteI met a couple cycling from Morocco to Aberdeen a few weeks ago with their 2 sons aged 8 and 9. One was from Aus and the wife was expat Brit who went to live in NZ. They are schooling the children on the road with the help of a correspondence school in NZ. It seems that British schools are much less flexible.
ReplyDeleteI think its brave of her, but no way something I would do or would want to do. It was exhausting just reading her itinery list of where they have been one day 4 places for instance, moving within days to somewhere else, although I note there are some longer stretches. Each to their own and he will learn a lot, but travel yes for a small amount of time, explore a region in more detail, and then back to what is essentially reality for the majority of us. He will find it extremely hard to get back to normal everyday life after that, they both will, but if everyone did everything the same the world would be a boring place :) Julie T
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe thing to think about this way of life is what happens when you come back? We took our four kids out of school for a year and travelled through Europe this is going back 17 years it was a fabulous experience however they struggled coming back into mainstream education. I wasn't in a position to home educate. then our family life changed considerably. I think it's great but it's not the only way and I think an education no matter how boring or mainstream is also worth having.children need to learn that life is there for them to live their dreams whenever they wish however old they may be despite their upbringing/ childhood etc. I also don't understand what settling down means lol
ReplyDeleteAs a child I wanted t settle down,had 5 primary schools, no friends was such a mixed up child!. Was dragged around where dad worked. Even had the going to high school in England then moving back to Scotland back to primary. Was hell.
ReplyDeleteThat kid will be a better person for the experiences he will have traveling with his mother. She should be commended.
ReplyDeleteDuring 18 years of formal schooling, the only class that taught me anything remotely useful was Auto Shop. I joined the US Navy shortly after graduating and through a 30 year career I've been to Canada, Japan, New Zealand, Aus, Korea, Hong Kong, Fiji, Samoa, China, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Taiwan, Papua New Guinea, Pakistan, Bahrain, Somalia, Macau, Seychelles, Madagascar, The Philippines, Israel, Jordan and Vladivostok. I learned astronomy, geology, geography, meteorology, oceanography, sociology, art, history, as well as other customs & religious beliefs. I also learned 3 languages, personal responsibility, courtesy, mutual respect and maturity. Children certainly need a basic education, but this beautiful world and an exposure to other cultures teaches things that are beyond priceless. R / Tim
ReplyDeleteI read that article from another place. Then, I went to the blog she wrote. I worry about the child's grasp of the English language and writing ability if she is his teacher. Her writing is not like and adult would/should write. But, the whole experience is grand.
ReplyDeleteHere in the South of the US where I live in a small town, "settle down," is code for get married very young so a kid will not have sex or a baby before marriage. It's sad. We are not from this town. I told my children from the time they were three to five, when kids mention marriage or having babies, to not marry the first person who asked, to go to school, travel if they wanted to, do THINGS. I told this to daughters and son. Son married when he was 37 (48, a teacher now), established as a teacher, married an established teacher. He had a house and things, no money problems. The daughter had her first child at 25, not 18 like her school friends. The younger daughter(teacher) is 41 and not married. They settled down without prompting. I really hate that term.
I've been semi-nomadic for the last 20-plus years, having lived, worked, and/or studied on three continents. Would like to get out more while I still can.
ReplyDeleteMaybe a return trip to Britain, while the Pound is still shot, should be on my itinerary in the near future.