Tis hard to let go

Having a bit of a sort out of my kitchen cupboards, I have one that stores my bags of various sizes, and bits and bobs which I might need in my day to day going out. Lurking at the back was a couple of carrier bags which haven't been touched for the past two years, what did I find but my hard hat and hi viz vest, along with other stuff I used to take to work.

It's made me a bit sad, these are things that dominated my whole world, they made me who I am, strong, resilient, and resourceful. My job gave me confidence, it gave me status, and I was proud to say, 'I am a lorry driver.' I wore my hard hat like a badge, it signified that I was one of the lads, I belonged to a gang, and I was equal to them. It felt good.

Now it is redundant, just like me. Oh, I know I became disenchanted with the job when it changed, elf n safety killed it off, and I started to lose interest, but in the eighties and nineties it was brilliant. Things don't last forever though and we move on.

But what next? Yes, I have a lot going on at the moment, but I still feel there is something else I should be doing. There must be another adventure around the corner. I want that same buzz again, when I climbed up three steps into the huge cab and turned the key. I have to accept that that has all gone now, but there has to be something else to replace it.

I am not ready to throw away my hard hat just yet, I will put it in a prominent place so I see it every day, just as a reminder, while I contemplate where I want to go next. I might just decorate it.