Nellie's money saving gems. Guest post

Hiya all you frugalers out there, it's Nellie Knowitall here back by great demand. I've been comissioned to write another post about living within your means. Once again I'm going to be stating the bleedin obvious, after all, saving money is not rocket science, it's just a large dollop of good old fashioned common sense. There will be no tarting it up with wishywashy faffing, I just tell it like it is. So, if you want to reap the benefits from my pearls of wisdom, read on, but if you are filthy rich this won't be for you, just pop out to the shops and buy another flat screen tv to add to the three you already have, and thank the lord that you don't have to scrimp and save every last penny.

Right, let's get on, for those who are with me, hold on to your hats.

1. How much washing up liquid do you get through? I hope you haven't got a dishwasher, gawd and heaven forbid, please don't tell me you are too idle to boil a kettle and wash up in a bowl of water? Think of all those chemicals that get washed into the drains, not to mention the amount of water they use. Chuck the monstrocity out if you have one, and get back to basics. A bowl of hot water, a teeny drop of washup liquid, and a pair of hands are all you need. Yes, but what if the pots are all gungy with left over food sticking to them, I hear you say. Simple answer to that is, lick 'em all clean before you wash them, then you won't get that greasey slime floating on the top of the water, and those lumpy bits stuck in the plug hole.

2. Get rid of all the unnecessary gadgets you have about the place which need electricity. What did we all do before they were invented, eh? Here are a few things that you can chuck. When you stop plugging them in, your leccy bill will be greatly reduced. Electric toothbrush. Don't need one of those, a bit more wrist action with a bog standard brush will do the job of keeping your pearly whites, erm, white. Bedside clock radio alarm. Chuck it and get an old fashioned wind up clock. Why do you need a flashing light by your bedside, it would drive me potty. Electric mixer. Why would you want to plug one in when you can get one of those rotary things that you wind with your hand. Better still, put your ingredients in a bowl and beat them to death with a table fork. Makes your wrist ache a bit but at least it does the job at no cost. Coffee machine. Good grief, what's wrong with a spoonfull of Nescafe in a mug topped up with hot water. Don't need that fancy thick black sludgy stuff. Deep fat fryer. NO NO NO. Don't fry food it is no good for your health, and it makes a mess and stinks the kitchen out. Only grill, steam, or microwave your food. Sandwich toaster. Oh my, so you like toasted sandwiches, well if you have to have them put your sarnie under the grill, better still don't bother at all, eat it in it's natural state. These are just a few of the gadgets you don't need, and don't get me started on hair straighteners, hair curlers, hair dryers, heated rollers, and crimpers. I reckon if you have any of these items of torture in your home you must be a bit kinky. Chuck 'em. Wash your hair on a fine day and walk outside, and let the sun and wind try it.

3. Now this will cause a few of you to rise up in indignant protest, are you ready. Stop eating dead animals. No one ever died through not eating meat, you don't need it, and your grocery bill will be pounds cheaper.

4. Hey, this is a good one for all us old wrinklies. Don't believe any of the blurb about face creams rejuvenating your skin. They want you to buy into dreams. There are no miracle creams that will turn back time. You are getting older, your skin will become thinner and lose it's elasticity, you will get wrinkles. Slap on any old cheap cream that you have in the cupboard, save yourself a fortune.

5. What is it with these wet wipes that you can buy? They make them for all kinds of jobs now, even for use in the bathroom. For goodness sake, I hope no one is buying them to wipe the toilet. Cut an old towel into squares, and make some cloths. There are so many things being invented to supposedly make housework easier, but they all cost money. Go down the old fashioned route, a bit of spit and polish and a lot of elbow grease, with an old rag, will save loads of money.

6. Here's a good one that is so obvious to me. Why do you think they put choccy bars on prominent display next to the checkout? To tempt all weak willed people into buying a treat for themselves. Toughen up for goodness sake. Ignore them, leave them on the shelf,  you didn't go into the shop to buy chocolate. If you are a bit on the lumpy bumpy side, chocolate will go straight to your hips and you will never get rid of that big lump called your arse.

7. I'm going to talk dirty now. Look away if easily offended. I'll say it once. 2 for a pee, 3 for a poo. You know what I'm talking about don't you, yep, loo roll. Are you getting through reams of it every day, well you shouldn't be. If you are constantly pebbledashing your toilet, there is something wrong with your diet. If you have a messy bum then you are eating the wrong food. I'll say no more.

8. How to use less petrol in your car. Are you the sort of person who is always in a rush, not leaving yourself enough time to get to your destination. I can see the steam coming out of your ears as you dash out of the house, jump into the car, and push your right foot through the floor as your tyres leave a slick of black rubber on the road. Then when you reach the first set of traffic lights it's brakes slammed on as you screech to a halt behind waiting traffic. I bet you can watch your petrol gauge go down. Just calm down a bit, get up ten minutes early and give yourself a bit more time. Easy on the pedals, read the road ahead and work out a plan of action as you drive. It ain't that difficult, and will save you pounds.

9. Always keep your eyes on the ground when you walk about. People drop money accidentally, and kids throw away small coins when they can't be bothered with them. They will learn eventually when the bank of mum and dad finally dries up. Even in remote areas where you think you would never find anything, the glint from a coin on the ground has caught my eye many a time, as the sun catches it. Of course you will have to look up sometimes, don't want you walking into a lamp post or getting a crick in the neck. Think money when out and about at all times, don't be too proud to stop and pick it up.  

10. Right, last one for today. Stop buying clothes which need ironing. In fact, stop ironing altogether. Biggest waste of time and money, I can't think of a more boring job, and what about all that electricity it uses. I still read about people who iron bed sheets, good grief, are they nuts! The sheets are going to get creased when you get into bed anyway, unless you lie flat on your back like a corpse all night, which I have to sometimes when all the cats decide to sleep with me.

Well that's all for now folks, think about my money saving tips, can you add some of them to your daily routines, let me know how much money you have saved. This is Nellie Knowitall from Stating the Bleedin Obvious signing off. I hope you have found my guest post helpfull. Till next time, your very best friend, Nellie.