What about the future?

 Every morning when I wake up I think thank goodness I didn't die during the night, and I have another day. I give thanks that I am still here. I have flashbacks of the time I woke up in the middle of the night in agonising pain, and dialed 999. This happened 14 years ago and I still remember how fearful I was.Thank goodness I was able to get to the phone, get dressed, and open the front door to let the ambulance crew in. 

They strapped me into a wheelie seat and loaded me into the ambulance. The pain was getting worse and I started vomiting. They caught it in a bowl. I was taken to A & E where a doctor came to examine me and ask me questions. They gave me something for the pain. At 4.30am I was put into a ward. 

At breakfast time the pain returned and I was into panic mode, thinking I was about to die. I thought is this it, is this the end, am I going to die in hospital. They put some morphine into me which gave instant relief. I became calm and was able to relax. If this is what dying feels like then I am ready for it. 

Long story short. That morning after the doctor did his rounds they said I could go home. They said take pain killers. I said what do I do if it comes back. They decided to send me to x-ray. It turned out that I had a big ovarian cyst. I had to wait four months for an operation to remove all my womanly bits. I thought that was a bit drastic. I remember thinking as I was wheeled into the operating theatre, will I come out alive. I woke up in the ward.

I have a phobia about medical matters, I would rather stay out of hospitals, one of the reasons why I never had children. I couldn't go through that whole pregnancy thing and giving birth. Luckily I haven't needed to call on the NHS very often throughout my life. Tonsils and adenoids out when I was about ten. Voluntary sterilisation when I was 37. A few stitches in a slashed finger when I was gardening. Camera up the bum, and down the throat. NHS specs and hearing aids. 

Both my parents died early from heart attacks, mostly due to poor lifestyles, smoking, eating wrong kind of food, and excess alcohol. I am trying to avoid falling into that trap. I am trying to be kind to my body.

I talk to my heart when I am lying in bed at night. Please keep going. I lie still and feel my pulse. Yes, heart seems to be working normally. I talk to my heart as I walk through the countryside, I stop for a few minutes to take deep breaths to get as much air into my lungs as I can. 

Over the years it's been a comfort to know that there is help available if and when I need to seek medical advice. I feel fit and healthy most of the time, but who knows what is going on inside my body. If I have a little twinge here, and a bit of an ache there, is that down to old age creeping up on me, or is it something that needs investigating. I don't know. If the NHS continues to shrink at an alarming rate, if there aren't enough doctors and nurses, I will probably die from something I have already got. 

The future is looking bleak for those who cannot afford to pay for healthcare. The General Secretary of the Unite Union, Sharon Graham, says the Government are trying to run down the NHS for other reasons. I think she has a point there. It is obvious to me why this is happening. Check out the article here. 

Thank you for popping in. My apologies to my regular and happy readers for not being able to comment. I am seeing an increase in other places where people feel the need to bring others down. Very sad. I don't want that here. Toodle pip.   ilona