I will tag along with Rachel and John today, if I may. I very rarely feel lonely, because I make my own entertainment, I am not in a bubble with anyone, don't know how to get one started, or how to join one. I suppose having a coffee with my friend would be counted as a bubble, as we have done many times over the last few years. But it is clear that her husband now sees anyone other than family coming to the house as a bit risky, so I stay away. I miss our chats but don't want to be in the way.
When I woke up this morning I was coming out of a dream. My boyfriend from many years ago, whom I was very fond of, was here in the house with me. Of course I soon realised that it was just a very nice dream. I tried to hang on to it by closing my eyes. I thought about the times I have had a telephone call and when I answered the line went dead. The person on the other end doesn't speak. I wondered if that was him trying to get in touch. It was probably a sales call, but maybe it wasn't. I will write down the number next time.
My conversations are limited to people that I meet in the street and around the village. I know a lot of people to say hello to and to exchange a few words with, but it's not the same as having a sit down coffee and a good laugh.
I went a short walk around the village yesterday but didn't feel comfortable tackling the icy paths and roads. It was a slow process, and wasn't what you would call exercise. I did have a chat with one man who was walking his dog, which was nice.
The restrictions at the moment don't affect me too much, but I am beginning to feel like I am trapped. It's cold so the best place is to be inside the house, but come the spring if the situation is still the same I will still feel trapped, and also in a prison.
The sun is streaming through my window, it looks very inviting to go out. I see couples walking together. I will stay in today and hope the snow and ice will be gone soon. I don't want to slip and break a bone, that would be a disaster.
This is not a pity party, I am not complaining, just stating how it is. Back to the sewing, it's looking good.
Thanks for popping in. We'll catch up soon. Toodle pip, ilona
I feel the same way. Only talk to people in person when go shopping for food. Like I said yesterday I took a bad fall on Saturday hit face and head on concrete and it will be quite a while till I feel good again but it could have been a lot worse. I am thankful that it wasn't. I am enjoying my warm cozy apartment. Stay safe and blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteI hope your injuries will soon be healed. Must have been a terrible shock. Best wishes.
DeleteIt's just been going on so long, I think it is getting people completely down. These restrictions have taken so much plain fun out of life and for the elderly it could be their last year or two. I am hopeful the light is showing at the end of the tunnel now.
ReplyDeleteYou do so well to entertain yourself. Soon you will be planning a nice camping trip! Have you thought of a new little dog who could travel with you (since the cats cannot) and you enjoyed having dear Rocky while he was with you?
I think the Government have no idea on the damage that lockdown is doing to ordinary working people. It's alright for those well off in their big houses with a big garden. It must be terrible for those who live in a high rise flat.
DeleteYour sewing looks amazing. such bright beautiful colours for such a dull time. I am single and feel like Im in a prison too. The council sent a workman round to paint the shed and fix the rotting door as they can do outside jobs apparently. After he left I felt my real sad pang of loneliness this pandemic and I realised I havent really spoken to anyone for weeks and weeks now. Only my son (moody 17 year old boy) and the cat. My son chats to friends online from college but is always in his room which is even more prison like I think. He cant see a reason to come along to the shop or go for a walk round the clock. Its pointless and cold in his opinion. I have been to the garden centre today and bought a spade, it was a treat to myself. Next week the temperature will rise to 10 degrees and I will be out digging to expel some energy and to start the process of growing some of my own food. You have a garden too, next week it will be better and maybe you can get out there too? Hopefully the birds will be back then too.
ReplyDeleteThis situation is having a terrible effect on young people. Keep an eye on your son. Yes, I will get out into the garden when it warms up a bit.
DeleteYes, it is just stating it as it is. No more and no less.
ReplyDeleteNot much we can do about it. Just try and carry on until the whole sorry mess blows over.
DeleteYou are a strong lady Ilona but there is only so much of the alone time we can all stand.i too really hope you can go camping later in summer.i really do feel like a prisoner.i have friends but not seeing anyone is so depressing.they say large numbers are depressed now.i just want to say to your reader Sharon who had a bad fall I really hope she feels better soon.its horrid slipping and falling so a speedy recovery to her.and warm wishes to you Ilona and your readers here's praying and hoping life is more fun and sociable soonx
ReplyDeleteThank you Jo.
DeleteThankfully I don't get depressed, just a bit fed up. Tomorrow is another day.
DeleteOh Ilona you and the others feel like me when is it is going to end, I have stopped walking round the village because I am frightened of falling and ending up in hospital. I am quite contented but every now again I have a bad day especially since the stroke for I cannot do the crafts I use to do, if it is a bad day I usually phone a friend and I know or go into the garden. The nice days are coming.
ReplyDeleteHazel c uk 🌈🌈🌈
Phone calls are a good distraction for an hour or so.
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteHere in the US, huge numbers of people are getting in their cars/vans/rv’s and traveling. Biggest sales of RV’s ever, and all the parks are very popular. While governments can lock stores down, they can’t prevent people from driving and camping ;). Lots of areas in the us for free camping. Camping is very good since you are quite a long way from your neighbors....so next spring, maybe you can go camping in your car? Will that work with all the virus rules there?
We can't drive very far at the moment, I think we are limited to the county we live in. People have been stopped by the police and asked why they are so far from home. I am hoping to go camping again.
DeleteHi, test message, will reply to this if it works..
ReplyDeleteYes, you are coming over loud and clear.
DeleteI'm sorry it's getting to you, Ilona. Please know that, with your friendly, down-to-earth, interesting and chatty blog, you must help so many people stave off feelings like this every day. I'm not just saying the following to agree with you. Honestly, several "stoic" and usually outwardly cheerful people I speak to have confessed that the situation is getting to them this week. I work in a secondary school (a special Educational needs teaching assistant, currently Covid testing for a couple of hours every morning). I agreed to do the testing and I'm glad I did - it gives structure to my day, and I get to have a laugh with people and a brief chat (even if they are twirling a swab up one nostril at the time!). Life will get better. Your life will get better. It may be worth trying to trace this chap, but only (I venture to suggest) when you are feeling less vulnerable. Who knows? Very best wishes, Heather (a long-time regular reader)
ReplyDeleteThank you. I try to stay upbeat. I don't want to be forever moaning.
DeleteI can imagine just how hard it is for people living on their own in times like this.I have got hubby but some times we can go all through an evening without barely saying a word to each other!.He watches telly and I am busy googling some random stuff...but it is nice just to have someone there,so I know what you mean.My Mam is feeling it as well because although me and my sister see her most days,for about 4 hours,she is still on her own every evening,missing my Dad who died 6 years ago.She says that she would be lost without her television.All we can all do is hope and pray that this awful time will soon be over.I have had my covid jab today,hoping that this will help towards getting the country back to normal...if I grow pointy ears,a fluffy tail and start biting chunks out of peoples arms,I will let you know....That is if I can work my laptop with claws!.Stay strong lovely lady,we Will Get There!..Oh and I would like to send my best wishes to Sharon L and hope she feels better soon,xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Debi.
DeleteStay strong and hang on in there Ilona. In just over a month we will be changing the clocks and the days will be lighter and longer and hopefully warmer too. Let's hope too that lockdown will be ended and we can all get out and about to meet others and travel xxx
ReplyDeleteI would like to drive a bit further, and see something different.
DeleteDear Iona,
ReplyDeletePlease don’t feel sad, you bring joy to many and please know that we all think fondly of you xx.
Not sad, just bored doing the same thing over and over again.
DeleteAn hour ago I was thinking about how wonderful your life appears: independent in having your own home, without criticism about what or how you do things or what you think. I often feel alone in my marriage. You seem so honest in your writing and opinions. I look forward to reading Life After Money for inspiration to get on with everything and not be a whiner....Thank you
ReplyDeleteMy life is good, because I work on making it good. Oh I have my down moments like everyone does, but they don't last for long. It's all about not being stuck in the past and moving on. Thank you for your comment.
DeleteMaybe you need a new challenge! 30 day yoga course on YouTube maybe? Love your blog, your honesty and authenticity. Sharon x
ReplyDeleteI do need a new challenge, but it won't be yoga. I find that pretty boring. Maybe something new will happen when I have finished the current art project.
Delete30 days of Utube yoga sounds great.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about meeting a friend in a car park or scenic place for a coffee or picnic and chat where you both stay in your own cars with windows down....meeting but not close, lovely!
To be honest, I don't crave the company of others, so driving somewhere and sitting in my car chatting with the window open doesn't appeal to me. I like to see smiley faces of people chatting to each other, that gives me a lift. I like to be on the edge observing, with an occasional interaction, exchange of a few words and a cheery, have a nice day.
DeleteThinking of you ilona, it's not an easy time at all.
ReplyDeleteI really hope we are on the home straight now. We all need something to look forward to. Xx
I am looking forward to camping in a field.
DeleteI know what you mean. Since we sold our businesses, our home , moved and downsized , I miss my friends so much. We had lunch together nearly every day. We went thru everything together husbands, kids, grandkids, deaths just everything. As soon as we reach a point where travel is not so dangerous, I meeting those wonderful ladies for lunch again. Something to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteThis has been a big shock to those who have a busy social life. I hope you get to meet your ladies again soon.
DeleteHi Ilona
ReplyDeleteLast dream I had I dreamed I won the lottery and sorted out all the financial problems in my family (caused by lockdowns) I very rarely remember dreams but I did have a go on it just incase and did win a very small amount. Enough to buy a takeaway as a treat, nothing life changing.
I'm not happy at the moment as like you I want to visit my friend and that's forbidden by lockdown rules as we are both in bubbles with our own daughters. We don't have any snow here atm in South Devon so I can go out for a walk with the dog. Daughter is coming for a few days with grandson next week so that will be a nice change. Husband had the Oxford vaccine this morning and seems fine, no reaction at all yet. I really want mine asap now as my nephew is very ill with covid and 12 of his workmates all caught it at the same time. Just hoping for a nice spring and summer and all these lockdown rules to end.
Our world has been turned upside down but we have to soldier on. I hope the restrictions are eased a little in the spring.
DeleteDear Ilona,
ReplyDeleteafter the horrible fall with my bike on a frozen street on Jnauary 9th., that left me with five ribs broken and a tear in pubic bone, my daughter and son in law took me to stay with them and two (grand)children. I've been in hospital as well for four days, but so grateful now that I can say I am on the mend. It takes time, much time and I am still with my daughter and her family. No walking for me, just a ten minutes' walk around the block, except in the snowy and icy times we're 'enjoying' these days.
When all the winter mess has disappeared I hope they can bring me back to my own home, 1,5 hour drive away, because I miss it, although I than will be on my own and alone again and will miss them badly.
Hopefully I can pick up my daily walks, starting with just one kilometer, like I started with you in the walking group in 2017. I know that I never walk alone, no matter the lonely circumstances.
Ilona, Please know that you are a fantastic inspiration, by your blog, your way of (literally walking through)life and your honesty. Thank you so much.
Love and blessings,
Jeanneke.
Jeanneke you are very kind. You are going through a terrible time at the moment, thank goodness you have your family to look after you. I do hope that your injuries will heal quickly, in the meantime, rest and a little exercise will be of benefit. We need you back in the walking group later in the year.
DeleteHello Jeanneke,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you had a nasty fall but do hope you are getting better and you will be home soon in your own little home.
I spent a week in AMersfoort a few years ago and it was a wonderful time. People were so friendly.
Keep safe. Hazel c uk 🌈🌈🌈
Thank you for your kind words, dear Hazel.
DeleteThat sounds very painful Jeanneke.I hope you start to feel better soon.Best Wishes,xx
DeleteThank you, Debi!
DeleteI'm really struggling with the isolation at the moment and have contacted mental health services for help. I feel like I've aged ten years. I keep busy as best I can and am used to being on my own, but it was so different when I could do my voluntary jobs and interract regularly with others. Social distancing is awful for single people, you are cut off from all the old pleasant interractions in shops etc. Love your blog and videos Ilona!
ReplyDeleteThe isolation is awful for those who are alone, and the stress is terrible for those at home with little kids. The sooner everyone can get vaccinated, the sooner we'll all be able to rebuild the lives we miss.
ReplyDeleteEven here in Israel, where the vaccination program is moving very quickly (as of a week ago, 90% of Israelis over 60 had received their first vaccine dose, and 80% had received their second dose) we're all sick of the situation. The sooner this is behind us, the better.
I'm really struggling too. I have never felt so lonely. Sending a hug to everyone that is having a hard time x
ReplyDeleteI am perfectly happy with my own company and can easily fill my time but I'm thoroughly fed up of the whole situation now. It would be lovely to meet up with friends and have a coffee and a catch up. Fingers crossed that it won't be too much longer.
ReplyDelete