Tuesday, 3 November 2026

The great escape

I have picked out a photograph from 1973. I was 24 years old. There is a story behind it. I was living in Birmingham at the time. and had a friend called Janet. We both liked Majorca having been on holiday together there before. We decided we would like to go and live there. We booked a cheap five day package trip, which was the cheapest way to get there, and we didn't come back. 
Our intention was to find an apartment and get a job. There was an English newspaper which we searched every day for jobs and accommodation. It was March time and we couldn't find work as it was too early in the season. We would have taken any job, in hotels, cleaning rooms, kitchen work, but no, sorry, nothing today.

 After five days at the hotel, we had to check out. But hey, all was not lost. I had managed to snare a handsome young man who had an apartment, so we didn't have to sleep on the beach. We were invited to stay with Chemari. I don't know if that is the correct spelling but that is how you say it. He was French, and had a job working on the beach renting out pedaloes. 

Our job searching continued. After a month, still nothing. Our money was running out. Not to worry, Chemari bought the food and we had a roof over our heads. Another month and Janet was getting very worried. She rang her parents, and they paid for a return flight back to the UK. I couldn't do the same because my mum had no money to spare. I was on my own. 

For something to do I used to go to the beach and sit with Chemari while he did his job. Hence the photo. I remember one day I got chatting to an English man who came to hire a pedalo. It was such a relief to be able to speak to someone in my native language, without gesticulating every word. 

Chemari became very agitated about this and was very angry that I should be speaking to a male on his own. That was the first time I saw jealousy on his face. I had to be careful after that. I didn't want to get thrown out of his apartment. 

Another month went by and I knew I had to leave and go back to the UK. But how to do that when I had very little money left. Chemari didn't know that I was plotting how to get away from him. He wanted to own me and I didn't like that. He wanted me to stay there forever. 

I checked the English newspaper every day. In the personal column I saw that someone was selling a return ticket to fly back to the UK. This woman had already got a job lined up to go to, so she didn't need the ticket. I contacted the seller and agreed to buy it. I just had enough money.

I hid the ticket because I didn't want Chemari to see it, he might destroy it and I would be trapped. I only told him a couple of hours before I left the apartment. I explained that it was just a visit back home and I would return to Majorca. He accepted that. A car arrived from the seller to take me to the airport late at night. I think today this would not happen. You can't take a flight using someone else's ticket. Passport control and ticket checks then were two separate barriers to pass through. No one noticed. It could have also been a scam, but in 1974 everyone was more trusting and honest. 

I learnt a lot of lessons from this episode in my life. I have a very strong independent streak running through me, and no one can override that. I have since survived two more controlling situations, and removed myself from two unhappy relationships. The decisions I made were right for me. 

Please make sure that the decisions you make now are right for you.

Thanks for popping in. Toodle pip.   ilona

12 comments:

  1. Wow ilona looking great like a 1970s model .😍..
    Great you come home 🏡 to England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🇬🇧 👏 👍..
    Some people can be jealous even if you say Hi or open a shop door open to there partner especially guy's with very beautiful women.. they no she gets attention.. why didn't your friend parent's get you a ticket your friend just basically left you. Alone. But back than a different era more gentile than today's world. People we're more trustworthy. I suppose. That's what's dangerous travelling with not much spare emergency money your stuck . But today your much better if you got in a sticky situation. With your money saving scrimping lifestyle as paid off.

    Nice memories ilona .great photo wonder if he still lives there maybe he eventually married ... I always wonder about people's story afterwards what happened next in life for them .did they have a good life or maybe no so good nice trip down memory lane mother'😏😉

    Cheers'
    Levi xx

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  2. You look so young and sexy in that picture,… and he looks rather nice too. Shame it didn’t work out. I’ve had loads and loads of boyfriends over my 50 years and not one of them was controlling,.. on the contrary, they were all a bit too easy going and laid back about the relationships with me. I’m guessing women attract a certain type of man, perhaps I’m too lazy and none sees an opportunity to take control… as there is nothing to take control of. I’m sorry you attracted a certain type,… but better to dump them if that’s the case,.. mr right might still be around the corner….

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    1. There is no Mr Right. I did used to have a very nice boyfriend when I lived in Blackpool, but he was too nice, and too predictable. I could have had it all, comfortable life, nice house, and kids. That wasn't what I wanted either. It would be nice if I could meet my equal. 50 - 50, respect on both sides.

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    2. Yes I agree, there is no Mr Right,.. I was madly in love with someone who left me,.. and then I later married a difficult but intelligent man. I would have liked the personality of my 1st love with the loyalty and intelligence of my husband,.. but no one is perfect,.. so I think we’ll choose as best we can, or don’t choose,… which I think is now more of an option.

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  3. Blimey Ilona I'm so glad you got back home safe and sound.i also got away from two controlling situations in life and boy do Iove being single and free.Youve led a fascinating life your one strong ladyx Jo dorset

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  4. Sorry you didn’t meet your Mr Right. I did, I was 18 at university, he was 21, in his last year. We have always been 50:50. Sometimes my career came first and sometimes his did. 50 years later we are still together.

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    1. My husband was very happy to live off me. I didn’t mind, as it was my money that I was earning, so I enjoyed sharing it with him and I always had loads for lovely clothes and holidays to Italy. And really nice sports cars. I had a career in which I used my brain and looks and so yeh,.. didn’t mind that he only had an office job. I didn’t really have the upper hand, as it was the nineties when we married so I still let him make all the important decisions which I now regret - I would have loved to have lived abroad, but he was to shy to,.. and therefore we I lived a quite life because he was the man and he wanted that. You can’t have everything,.. I had his great company all those years,.. life is different without him,.. huge freedom now to please myself, but funnily enough that isn’t making me happy, it makes me feel selfish, perhaps I’ll get used to it, he only died 2 years ago at 62. That’s my take on it, Lynette from Cannock uk.

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  5. Have u ever thought u was too picky ? Looking for someone who u had an ideal of? In that left u with no one in the end no family no kids no grandkids, just alone ?

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    1. There were a few people that I really liked, but I could never imagine spending the rest of my life with them. People used to ask me, when are you going to settle down. The very thought of that filled me with horror. Settle down! I have got a whole lot of living to do first. Settle down sounded like a death sentence to me. Fancy being stuck with someone you fell out of love with. I have been chucked a few times myself, by people who decided they didn't love me. My parents had an unhappy marriage, they split up eventually. They should have parted years before. No point in dragging it out hoping things might improve. I never wanted kids. I never wanted to be a granny. I love being alone.

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    2. I never wanted kids…. I had 3 terminations, out of bad luck, and never regretted them,.. the waiting for the terminations was hell,.. I had great doctors who saw my fear and signed for them. I like being alone, with just me and my husband. He can’t stand the noise kids make.

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    3. My sister said to me, she regretted all of her children. She was basically bullying into having 2 more even after she told her husband she found it too difficult with the first one. She had 22 years hading to bring them up,.. then ran off with a neighbour to live in Spain, and never invites any of her kids over,.. she had had enough, she actually said,.. I’ve done my duty, now they can go no live their own lives and I can start to live mine. Unfortunately she then hit an early menopause and is now quite depressed and hasn’t done any real living since,.. she’s just worn out and sad about her whole life I think. Funily enough, I don’t have kids and she asked we why once,.. and I said I could see around me the sacrifice you have to make and I did want that for myself. She was very cross that she hadn’t been so switched on about it too, but she was only in her twenties and followed the crowd due to lack of self esteem. Poor Kate, my sister who could have been so brilliant,,, but fell into the baby trap.

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  6. I’m married 30 years got 4 grown up kids and 2 grandkids and 2 step grandkids, being a parent and a grandmother never turned out how I thought it was going to, the adult kids get to the stage if u give any advice it’s interfering!! Unless it’s about £ the grandkids well they’re used as pawns by the adults I now think life would have been so much easier had I focused on my own life , I’ve sacrificed myself for them seems selfish to say but it never turned out the way I envisioned it was a dream ! My still young enough to live now how I want 47 years hopefully can focus on me now !! Parenting is overrated!

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