Saturday, 24 January 2015

Mindful gymnastics

Good morning, here we are it's the weekend again and I am listening to Sounds of the Sixties on Radio 2. It's sunny outside, so maybe a good day to go out. Sixties music always makes me feel happy, a little bit of jigging and dancing, ha ha. 
A question arrived in a comment, which I will answer now. 
Another question for you ( maybe you've written about it before, I'll check). You have such a great outlook, but even those with a cheery disposition have an occasional glum day. How do you lift yourself up, if one decides to come your way?
Hello bloggerette, and thanks for the question. I'm trying to think of the last time I had a glum day, there's not much that upsets me. There was a situation that was making me anxious and glum and sad all at the same time. It lasted a period of about two years, and I had little control over what was happening. Things have now been resolved and I am back to happy. I can't talk about the circumstances, but it was the actions of other people which was making me glum. All will be revealed when the time is right. Sorry if that sounds like a riddle. 
How did I deal with it? I learnt how to switch on and off. I got on with my life, keeping busy, distraction is a great way to blot out things. Siting around procrastinating is not going to resolve matters. All it does is make a little niggle into a great big festering hole. I cannot change how other people behave but I can change how I deal with it. 
I believe that all things will pass, they can hang around forever if you let them, or you can give them an almighty shove and move on. Now before anyone wants to shoot me down and say what about all the people with depression and suchlike, I am talking about how I deal with things. I know nothing about mental illness. 
I am really struggling to think about one reason why I should be glum, there is one niggle that comes to mind. I am getting older, and my time on this earth is limited :o( it's not fair, I have so much I want to do, but there's nothing I can do about that, so best to get on and make the most of the time I have left. My life is precious to me, I have to make it the best I can.  
Over the years I have learnt to build a wall of protection around myself to limit what gets through, I decide what I will allow in. I find that glumness rarely visits now, what have I got to be glum about, practically nothing. I have good health, live in a nice place, and have nice friends. 
I don't believe in worrying over small piffling little things that are not important. I sort things out in order of how much it will affect my quality of life. I put my thoughts in boxes, file them away if they are important enough to keep, jettison them into oblivion if they are not worthy of the space in my brain. I take things in my stride, if things go wrong I deal with it, or ignore it, depending on how it will affect me long term. 
Things and stuff are just that, possessions are things we collect as we pass through this life. We don't own them we just borrow them. These would come into my category of piffling little things that are not important. The way I communicate with other living beings is a completely different kettle of fish for me. My quality of life would be severely inhibited if I did not treat people in the same way as I expect to be treated myself. Saying that, it pains me to think that someone can be nasty towards me, when I don't understand why. But then I go back to the thought that I can't change how someone behaves, but I can change how I deal with it. Hope that makes sense. 
I think that how to deal with what life throws at you, is something that can be learnt. The mind can be trained in the same way as the body can, it's all connected. I often say, 'So what, it doesn't matter.'
Hope that explains it a bit, or has it baffled you. Bet you wished you'd never asked, ha ha.  Enjoy your Saturday. 
Toodle pip.
PS. I am still missing two addresses. Primroses Attic, and Aussie Cheryl, your bags are ready to be posted to you.      

18 comments:

  1. Excellent blog post today Ilona
    Arilx

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  2. I'm right with you on your thoughts, I've had trying times in the past, but I learnt that as long as family and health are ok I'm happy. If they aren't then I try and do something about it, if I can't then I just accept - nothing more can be done. Love your blog, like you I live on just the pension, but by making the right choices - don't smoke, don't drink, be economic as best I can live a very nice life. Enjoy the sunshine, I'm off to walk the dog :-)

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  3. Sounds like a good way to live!
    I need to quit worrying so much. Thank you!

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  4. Thank you, Ilona, for such good words of advice. There are things that we can change and things we can't. Knowing to "jettison into oblivion", or hand-over to God in some folk's case, the things we can't change is surely important. The world is just gonna keep on turning in either case :o)

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  5. Great post, Ilona...love your thoughts about changing someone vs how you receive it. No sense wasting time on feeling sad or grouchy....too much to be living for! Have a great weekend.

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  6. It does make sense. I really needed to read that today - simple but I need reminding of it. It is so easy to start ruminating over what are usually trivialities and turn them into great dramas. Its odd because I usually deal with major issues quite well, but little things tend to get to me. Unpleasant people get me down. Its crazy I know but I'm working on it :o). Debbie.

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  7. Excellent post. I totally agree with you. My aunt once said to me "Don't ever allow the actions of others to make you bitter" I've never forgotten her words. Been gone a good few years now, bless her.

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  8. I absolutely agree with you Ilona. I too file things in order of importance. It's taken me a while to think like this, I must admit. I spent a good while training myself not to sweat the small stuff. Now I think is me stressing about this going to change this situation? If the answer is no, then I try not to stress about it. No point in fighting a futile battle and exhausting ones resources- be they physical, mental or emotional. I've just caught up with the blog after a busy few days at work. Missed the surprise bag giveaway- darn! They are great bags and the recipients will love them. Hope you are all keeping well,xxxx

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  9. It is good to write about such things. As Ilona says, distraction is a good tool to divert your thoughts and keep you occupied. I am generally positive but funnily, I have had issues in the past - due to a violent husband. At classes organised by the hospital, we went out for a pizza, learnt how to make intricate cards and did belly dancing. Now, I really enjoy reading and sewing and embroidery. I like walking and doing keep fit. I like history too. I always make time for things that allow my creativity. natalie

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  10. Hi,Jan here again.Thanks for your comments,I love positivity,we can all benefit from it.I always differentiate beyween knowledge and wisdom,we can all acquire knowledge but wisdom is much greater.Thanks for sharing yours.Something to aspire to.Jan.

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  11. Wow, there's more wisdom here than you would find in ten self help books, thank you so much. It pains me to think that someone has treated you less well than you deserve.

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  12. I agree...don't concentrate on the niggles but on what makes you and those around you happy.

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  13. Brilliant post and some really good advice. Kristel

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  14. Hi Ilona,singing to old songs that you know the words to,dancing and feeling good,enjoying the sunshine and being present in the now,smiling too,perhaps.The way you spend time cheerfully and productively and the get on with it attitude you have translates into being a person with qualities we could all try harder to cultivate regardless of our own different challenges in life.Great post,very positive,thank you for answering that question and sharing the answer.Bye for now,D.

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  15. Thank you Ilona x
    Deb - Far North Queesland

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  16. It is also true that exercise is known to help keep away the blues. I wouldn't start with an organized exercise class but a good walk to any place you choose. Now to put my advice into practice!

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  17. Hi Ilona, Great advice as usual! I am a worrier and I want to learn how to overcome this. I do "talk" myself out of it sometimes but other times, I sit and worry. It doesn't happen that often but I still have days when I let myself fall into that trap. Thanks for the info and I hope I can take some of your good advice and not let myself get trapped into that bad habit too often.

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