All around the houses, and my replies

Hello. The BBC is trying to take over the world. It is now asking, no demanding, that people register to listen to  BBC radio stations online. I have found it convenient to tune into Radio 4 and local BBC Radio while I am doing something else on the computer. It's easy to do, a couple of clicks and you can find what you want. I have particularly enjoyed Owain the weatherman on BBC Radio York on a Saturday afternoon, he has a three hour programme and plays some smashing music. Now I am asked to register to listen to him. I have looked for the station on the stereo player, but the signal is not good and the crackles are irritating.

You all know that I don't have a TV, and from last September I have not watched anything on iplayer since they brought in the new rule. I will not pay for a licence on principle when there is so much rubbish broadcast. After many years declaring to the licensing people that I don't need a licence, (they send me letters), I have recently replied to the latest. I have had confirmation back from them saying they accept my declaration and will contact me in two years time. Fair enough, I can accept they need to check.

But what will happen if I register to listen to the radio? You can bet your bottom dollar it will give them more ammunition to hassle me. There will be emails and letters winging their way in my direction. Once every two years I can put up with, but it is well known on the forums that they try and brow beat people into submission. I can do without that. So that's why I am reluctant to give them more information. I only want to listen to the BBC radio stations, which is free to anyone without a licence.

Here are some of the reasons they give for asking listeners to register. Most of it is bullshit, sorry, but I can't think of a nicer word to describe it. My replies in red.

If you’re 13 or over we’ll ask for your email address. If you’re under 13 we’ll ask you to create a username, which is different from a display name. You can find out more about display names here.

We use this to check you’re a real person (not a robot) and for security, so only you can access your BBC account. No one else will be able to see your email or username.

Your email address also lets you reset your password if you forget it. And it means we can get in touch if we need to tell you about something new, like a change to our terms of use. I don't want you to get in touch, I just want to listen to a few of my favourite programmes. 

When you first register we ask for your date of birth. This is so you can use the parts of the BBC that are suitable for your age. For instance, we don’t let adults post on children’s message boards. Cobblers. I am a grown up, I can decide for myself what is suitable for my age.  

It also means we can see how people of different ages are using the BBC. Along with information about people’s gender and location, it helps us check we’re making something for everyone. For goodness sake, none of your business where I live. I only listen to the bits I am interested in, you can broadcast what you like, I don't care. Gender has absolutely nothing to do with what people listen to. I am a mix of all of them. 

Knowing your date of birth means we can also give you more relevant info across the BBC and in any BBC emails you sign up for. I am only as young, or as old, as I feel. If I want to bop along to Radio 1, I will. If I want to join the fuddy duddies on Radio 4, I will. I was born, that's all you need to know. 

If you’re 18 or over, we’ll only keep your year of birth, not the day and month. This is because we only keep data we need to make the BBC more personal to you. We don't need your day and month of birth to do that, so we don't keep them. Don't get personal with me. Please respect my space, you are not allowed in it. If you don't need them, why are you asking?

If you’re under 18 we’ll keep your full date of birth so we know when you turn 18. And when that happens, we'll delete the day and month from our records. No kids in this house, trot off. 

We ask everyone what gender they identify as. You can choose female, male or enter another term of your choosing. And there’s also an option if you’d prefer not to say. My gender is what I choose to be, there are so many options now, I might be something one day, and something else another day, so don't ask the question.

This helps us see how people of different genders are using the BBC. Along with information about people’s age and location, it helps us check we’re making something for everyone. We might use this, along with other info about you, to give you more relevant info across the BBC and in any BBC emails you sign up for. For goodness sake, just do your job. I don't sign up for emails, don't need them cluttering my box. 

If you’re in the UK and 18 or over we’ll ask for your home postcode. If you’re in the UK and under 18 we’ll ask for your hometown. That’s the place where you live. If you're outside the UK and 18 or over we'll ask for your country of residence. Jeez, so many bluddy questions. Next thing there will be a van parked outside and a bloke with a clipboard knocking at my door. 

We use your location to give you relevant local info online and in any email newsletters you sign up for. Told you...shall I shout it. DON'T NEED LOCAL INFO, DON'T NEED EMAIL NEWSLETTERS.

We also ask for your full postcode because it helps us understand how the BBC is used across the country. As a public service, we need to make sure we're making something for everyone and giving best value for the licence fee. Stop wittering on for Gods sake.

The BBC is a public service. Everything we do has to benefit you, our audience. And that includes what we do with your personal information. Look after the listeners that moan a lot, I am not one of them. 

We use this information to benefit you in two ways:It helps us make the BBC more personal for you. It means we can:

• Recommend things we think you’ll like
• Show you content that’s relevant to where you live
• Make sure you can use things that are appropriate for your age.
• As a public service, we need to make something for everyone. 

As more of our content gets consumed online, we need to understand who's consuming it. Things like iPlayer give you more ways to enjoy BBC content. And while they let us see how many people are enjoying the things we make, they don’t tell us anything about them, which makes it hard to know if we’re making something for everyone. For goodness sake, how old is the BBC, surely you must be getting some things right after all this time. Don't you know, you can't please all of the people all of the time.

That's why we ask you to sign in and provide a bit of information. Find out more about your information and privacy.

We share some of your personal data with TV Licensing, to check if you are using BBC iPlayer and to keep their database up to date. Yes I bet you do, this is the part I don't like. Find out more about when you need a TV Licence.

It's spooky how much information large institutions are asking for now. Big Brother is definitely watching over us. 

As a public service BBC, you need to be more transparent with your costs, how much you are making, and how much you are paying out. How much money you are wasting on middle management and how much it is costing to massage the ego's of over paid so called celebrities. Maybe I should send you my own questionnaire to help me to decide whether you are worthy of my donation to your coffers, but until I get the full picture from you, you get nothing from me. 

Thanks for popping in, enjoy your day, we'll catch up soon.
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