Helen4:09 pmPeople turning up unnannounced (meanqueen's blog said she didn't want any at her house!!!) and now people wanting to make an appointment to visit, it's enough to make you want to move house and not tell anybody where you're going!
This refers to the time I called in to say hello to John in North Wales, I was on my way home after holidaying in Anglesey. Some people thought I was a bit rude to just turn up. I was passing the door and thought it would be a nice surprise. I am a friendly sort and so is John, I read his blog and he has on occasions made a comment on mine, so not completely strangers. I knocked the door, had ten minutes chat and met his dogs, then I was on my way.
I have mentioned in the past how I would rather people who read my blog do not know my address. It does come out sometimes when I am in the press, and I can't do anything about that, but on my blog I would rather not say. Any single female living alone is a target for all kinds of unsavoury characters to take advantage of the situation, and it is sensible to be vigilant about personal safety at all times.
Helen above, if that's her real name, seems to have a bee in her bonnet about me turning up at Johns, and then not wanting people to turn up at my place. She plucks something out of a past blog post, 24th May 2017, and twists it around to suit her agenda, and that is to have a go at me. I call this trolling.
I will tell you what happened a few years ago. A complete stranger turned up at my front door, he showed me his mobile phone, there was my face on it, he said, it is you isn't it. Well what would you do in that situation, it is a bit unnerving. It turned out that he had been looking for me for four years after seeing me on a TV programme. He had phoned my Tesco store to ask if they had my address. He had looked at pictures of all the roofs in my area, trying to find one that matched mine, my house was in the TV programme. He had been back to my area four times in the last four years, looking at roofs, and looking for me, he lives 100 miles away in the North East. Why was he doing this? Because he thought we might have a lot in common and we might get on with each other. Basically he took a fancy to me.
I told him to go to the pub and I would have a drink with him. I rang my friend to meet me there, I wanted a witness. I took a photo of his car in the car park, a brand new BMW, and I listened to his story. I then told him that what he had done was stalking and was totally unacceptable, and if I ever saw him in my village again I would call the police. He looked a bit shocked that I was straight to the point. I never saw him or heard from him again. So now you can see why I have to be careful. Single females are targets.
So why is Helen saying that I don't want anyone at my house and people need to make an appointment to visit. It is not completely true, twisted lies. What I don't want are oddballs, and he was really creepy, you didn't see him Helen, I did, he was creepy and weird, turning up after searching for me for four years.
Blogger friends have been to my house they are welcome. People who I have had some contact with in the past, people who are known to me. So put a sock in it Helen, you must have a very sad life to keep bringing it up.
Good night and Toodle pip
“Helen” needs to get a life and stop meddling in other people’s.
ReplyDelete“Helen” definitely sounds like she has it in for you, fancy dragging up the past, don’t pay her any attention, those kind thrive on it, you just stay safe. You did the right thing with that guy, stalker alert. Have a lovely day,
ReplyDeleteFi
You are quite right, of course you don’t want strangers turning up at your house. We are always being told to be careful about how much we put about ourselves on the internet. ‘Helen’ should mind her own business.
ReplyDeleteI remember the incident. That was scary. He was probably harmless, but you never know. I would probably had the police present, too.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been very scarey for you Ilona, someone who was relentless as he was to search you out. Gives me the heeby geebies just thinking of it.
ReplyDeleteI got the heeby geebies while talking to him. He tried his best to impress me with his money saving lifestyle, some of his ideas were completely bonkers, like collecting rainwater to use for making drinks and cooking, in the kitchen. What !!!
DeleteThat creepy guy showing up on your doorstep out of the blue like that after hunting you down for 4 years? Yes, definitely stalking. Big difference between just passing by someone's house and dropping in, and stalking someone for 4 years. I don't blame you at all for keeping your address private, I would too. In fact, I do!
ReplyDeleteIgnore 'Helen'. I don't think she gets out much.
Yes, big difference. Ridiculous to compare one with the other.
DeleteHaters will always be haters. They are miserable and want everyone else to be too.
ReplyDeleteI think you rock lady. I love your blog.
Linda
That is a scary story and a good reminder that we ALL may not be as anonymous online as we think we are. I'm glad you had the presence of mind to take a friend and that you were forthright with that man; he may not have had bad intentions but he was STILL not behaving in a civilized manner and he needed to understand what he was actually doing. And who can really say what his intentions were? You have only a stranger's word (his) for it. Brrr.
ReplyDeleteGo, you! We all have to stick up for ourselves and you did a fine job!
ReplyDeletePeople always have an opinion especially when it is none of their business. I understand your thinking totally.
ReplyDeleteVery odd of Helen...very odd. One does wonder what is going on with her...Actually, most likely nothing is going on with her, and she stimulates her life by stirring up others...SAD.
ReplyDeleteRe your experience with stranger who turned up...you handled that brilliantly, and obviously well, as he did not turn up again. It really would have shocked me.
I think it is not even JUST single women who have to be careful, it is all folks. There are all sorts of nutters about. And, many are very dangerous, especially once they get an "idea" in their heads.
I don't think anyone should be turning up at anyone's door.
I can see why you are angry but I actually laughed at this because in no way is that the person we see on here. We all have to be careful but seriously Helen get a life. I came only assume Helen likes strangers knocking on her door.
ReplyDeleteIt is none of "Helen's" business anyway. Why do some people feel they have the right to poke their nose into other people's lives. You are doing totally the right thing about keeping your address secret and not wanting strangers turning up at your door. There are a lot of weirdos out there. Stay safe.
ReplyDeleteThis is very disturbing stuff Ilona. The internet has its downsides, definitely agree it’s best to keep addresses private and so on. Over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that there some people who for some pathetic reason enjoy baiting others online - they thrive on the reaction etc. That bloke was lucky you didn’t report him to the police, you had every reason to do so.
ReplyDeleteI seriously considered ringing the police, they could have traced him through his car registration, but he seemed to take in what I said to him so I left it at that.
DeleteI would have rang the police x
DeleteI dont know why ...Helen...would compare the two situations!.The difference is that you and John knew who each other were!A creepy guy just turning up at your door is wrong!.And him saying that he had been looking for you for 4 years,studying roofs in the area??.Its a good job that you have a gas fire cause Ive got this image in my head now of him climbing down your chimney and landing in a pile of soot..like Santa!.Take no notice of her Ilona.She has too much time on her hands and is maybe a little bit jealous.These sort of people usually have nothing useful to say, so think..who can I pick on today?.They are just bullies.xx
ReplyDeleteI think the problem is turning up at someone's home unannounced. Wasn't John Gray on his way out when you called? If your stalker had asked could he call on you then it may have been a different matter.
ReplyDeleteHe said he was getting ready to go out. I was fully aware that he might not have had time for me, and I had a plan B. The ten minute hello with him and his dogs was much appreciated. You cannot compare the two situations as Helen has done. Completely different circumstances. The person who came to my door was a stranger, I am not a stranger, I put almost my whole life out there on the internet.
DeleteYou are very wise to be so careful. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteI think you are being very wise.
ReplyDeleteyou're spot on with this.
ReplyDeleteI've met fellow bloggers...but never at home...
John is taking a risk when he says people can call in when passing to say hello, but that's his choice. He is in a better position to defend himself, large build male person, than me, skinny small framed female.
DeleteObviously some people have too much free time on their hands. Don't they Helen.
ReplyDeleteDeary me, have people nothing better to do than pick fault in others. Put it out of your mind, silly Helen.
ReplyDeleteI don't live on my own but I wouldn't want people to know my address in blogger land either Ilona. You have to be so careful these days about any information or casual chat you may have with someone. I don't even like cold callers to my door and even though we have a sign, some still ignore it.Luckily we live in a low crime area but we do have a neighbourhood watch and we try to look after each other in our area and are observant.
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ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment, Jo. I have re-posted it with your name in bold at the top. It's easy to do, just click on 'Comment As', and select the 'Name' option. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYou actually put enough personal information out there as it is, what you do is far more than I’d ever be comfortable doing. Poor Helen what a sad and shitty life she must lead, Jo
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThat is a bit scary. Is there any chance that Helen could be your stalker? Stay safe!!
ReplyDeleteKathy
Kathy I have re-posted your comment with your name in bold at the top. Anonymous is not allowed.
DeleteIn answer to your question, no, I very much doubt it. I think we need to keep things in perspective. One unsettling incident does not mean everyone is under suspicion. Every encounter with someone you don't know has to be assessed at the time it happens. First impressions count a lot. Do you feel comfortable or uncomfortable with this person. Trust your instincts and act upon it. But, don't be taken in, there are a lot of smooth talkers out there who know how to spin a yarn. Be on your guard.
Eww... That man was creepy!! :(
ReplyDeleteI can see that Helen thought you had double standards but you have explained it very well and any rational person would understand. I have googled myself up Johns village just to see what it looks like but I don't think I would call in although I have fallen for Winnie.
ReplyDeleteIlona, I can tell you that people in the US have been shot and killed in the US for less, and the courts have sided with them.(And I'm not a big gun advocate, BTW). Your home is your castle, they say, and no one has the right to just show up and expect to be received, blog or not. You absolutely right to do as you did, and pretty smart thinking on short notice!
ReplyDeleteYou've done it again MQ- ! risen to the bait.
ReplyDeleteHelen has won. She's got you to justify your actions - why should you ? why can't you just ignore these comments ? it's much more dignified than 'having a go' back. You've made a big thing out of this - why ?
Incidentally I agree 100% about not letting people in your home or your life, it's just not safe these days.
Don't let people see they can get to you.
Wean, how can I put this, shouting may help to get the message across. DO NOT TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD OR SHOULDN'T WRITE ABOUT ON MY BLOG. IT IS MY BLOG, I WILL PUT WHAT I BLOODY WELL LIKE ON IT. DIGNIFIED MY ARSE, I WILL FIGHT MY CORNER. YOU FORGET, I HAVE FOUGHT A LOT OF SHIT IN MY LIFE. NOW YOU ARE GETTING TO ME AND I HAVE RISEN TO YOUR BAIT. MIND YOUR OWN BLOODY BUSINESS. IS THAT CLEAR? God I feel better for saying that.
DeleteWell said and good for you!!
DeleteSmart move Ilona - get him away from the property and get a witness. We tend to get a few 'breakdown' vehicles where we live in quite a remote area, but we never leave our doors unlocked and once a seemingly nice youngish man wanted to come into the house for a wee (so he said), that morning I was on my own and told him that my partner would be coming back with plumbing parts as our lavatory was un-usable but he was welcome to visit the hedgerow if urgent. He didn't and drove off. This has been the only 'odd' story so far living here but it's best never to let anyone into your property especially if you are on your own. If anyone needs assistance you can always ring for them if they apparently have a 'flat' battery on their mobile etc. Keep safe everyone.
ReplyDeleteI think that behind most negative actions (snipes, backhanded comments etc) is jealousy. She's jealous of your lifestyle, your confidence and attitude to life. Wished I've have realised this when I was younger but at least I know it now. Great response.
ReplyDeleteI believe that she is just a troublemaker x
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your blog. Hope it helps. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! A humorous comment I left on John's blog, for John, has escalated into this! Please read the answer I left to your comment on his blog. I can assure you that I have nothing whatsoever to do with your stalker, indeed I have every sympathy for you or anyone else who is in that situation. I really can't understand how my comment for John has led you to think that. Your post here has however led to comments criticising me and in fact there are some very horrid comments here. These are from people who don't know me and more than likely haven't even read my original comment for John. I can't think why you would associate me with your stalker from years ago just from reading my comment to John. Your post has led to people accusing me of being a troll, in fact you said that yourself too. Also that I could be your stalker!
ReplyDeleteI can assure you I am none of these things, neither am I jealous of you or your lifestyle as someone has said I am.
I feel sorry for you or anyone else who has troubles in their lives and I hope that you are able to soon have peace in your life.
Helen is indeed my name and I don't have any bees in my bonnet about you visiting anyone! Why would I? I don't know you! I haven't twisted anything, all this stems from a humorous comment I left for John on his blog. He didn't delete my comment and from that I assume he was happy with it.
You seemed very angry to another commenter on this post too, I hope that whatever is making you unhappy is soon replaced by peace. Perhaps some of your commenters also feel the need to reply with vitriol to someone they don't know but we all deserve to be treated with respect and to treat others with respect. With the kindest regards, Helen.
Sorry but both sides of this story are just silly and childish. Why do either of you care what anyone else thinks? Iona your blog is great, just don't comment, it's a waste of your time and Helen same goes for you. Blogs/Facebook can make people act like children again! Sorry if you think this is harsh iona but you are better than this bickering, don't know much of Helen, but both grow up and entertain us with blogs keep out of the playground.. Regards viv
ReplyDeleteJust want to say, that I think you handled the creepy guy very sensibly by meeting him at the pub, bringing a friend and photgraphing his car and license tag. Helen's comments were totally off base. I had my home broken into in 2011. I believe the perpetrators were a married couple who showed up at my house days earlier asking for directions! You can't be too careful. Also, because you knew John and he knew you, I think it was Ok for you to knock on his door. When you are a public figure, like you are, you can't be too careful.
ReplyDelete