Friday, 20 November 2009

Just go

I'm looking forward to sleeping in my bed tonight, after spending five nights on a camp bed in my living room. I have been looking after Henry 24/7 since Sunday afternoon, and there was no way I could leave him even for a few minutes, he wanted to be by my side the whole time. He has gone home now, collected by Helen at 6pm. I was a little bit sad to see him go, but I can now relax as I have my life back.

I found the experience mentally and physically demanding. He is such a strong boy, and not yet fully trained so I was dragged round the streets everytime we went for a walk. I used the Halti collar as well as his normal one, which helped a little, but never the less I feel totally exhausted by it all. I am having problems with the muscle in my upper right arm, getting sharp pains when I reach for something. This has been building up for a long time from my lorry driving days, and now I find it painfull to use the mouse for any length of time, all part of old age I suppose.

I mentioned mentally demanding because I am unfamiliar with the concept of sharing my life with anyone, man or beast, that expects my full attention. I know I have the cats, but we rub along nicely together, I feed and cuddle them and they do their own thing.

Commitment to another human being frightens the hell out of me, it always has done, and now I know I could not take on a dog full time either. Life just seems so simple when you are on your own. I am going to the Knit and Stitch Show tomorrow at Harrogate. I dont have to ask anyone, dont have to make arrangements for dog sitters or child minders, or deal with sulky husband, just walk out of the door and go. I'll let you know what it's like.

4 comments:

  1. I hope that you enjoy the show. I went yesterday and was totally overwhelmed! Much prefer shows that are at the Yorkshire Showground. It will be interesting to see what you think.

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  2. I so totally understand what you mean about being free and easy... I have had four children and still have a husband to consider... it can be a bit trying but there are rewards too! You obviously never met anyone who had enough rewards for you Ilona... - all life choices have their compensations!

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  3. Can't wait for your opinion of the show, and your photos if you took any.

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  4. I totally understand where you are coming from with the difference between dogs and cats, I have 6 cats and they give me little trouble but a lot of amusement and love.
    Hope your arm doesn't get any worse, couldn't do without reading you blog, how selfish of me!!
    Enjoy your exhibition, look forward to reading about it. Don't spend too much.
    Briony

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