Friday, 1 January 2010

A look at the inside

It doesn't seem that long since we hit 2000, and here we are ten years later, it's frightening, is the universe whizzing out of control? I seem to have slowed down, and the world is spinning faster, whoa put the brakes on.

The first day of a new decade, and a time for reflection. What better place to get lost inside ones own head, than strolling through the woods and fields of our wonderful countryside. There was a dusting of snow overnight which glistened in the morning sun. I decided to start the new year as I mean to go on, and not waste any opportunity to get out walking.

I set off, out of the door, round the back of the church, down the hill, through the gate, across the field to the fishing pond, and on to the river bank. The pond is frozen over, no one fishing and no ducks or swans, I wonder where they have all gone.

Picking my way round hundreds of mole hills along the river bank, I could hear the church bells ringing out welcoming everyone to the midday service. Overhead a gaggle of geese were chattering away as they flapped their wings in formation, soon out of sight and on their way.

This is the area where they want to put some wind turbines which is upsetting a lot of people in the village. Up to now I haven't been drawn into that arguement and I think it's best not to let my feelings be known. Once they are up and running I don't think they look too bad, don't tell anyone I said that. I reached Flixborough and skirted round the edge of the industrial estate to join the path that runs along the bottom of the wood, and back home. By this time the sun had disappeared, the sky darkened and a few flakes of snow were falling.

I came across this chappie in the middle of a field, looks like he has plenty of time to contemplate a new year out in all weathers. Behind me is the wood, and a long way in the distance is the river bank.

What was the outcome of all my reflecting? Overall 2009 hasn't been too bad for me, although the first five months when I was on the dole wasn't very pleasant. Being patronised and made to feel like a scrounger was soul destroying. It was only when I stopped looking for work that did not exist, and concentrate on just getting through each week living on very little income, I began to relax and enjoy myself. Freeing yourself from the shackles of earning money takes a weight off your shoulders. Having no money means you don't need to think about spending it, freeing up time to do other things.

Once I became a pensioner it was plain sailing, so as long as the government keep on paying what they owe me, then I will have a wonderful life. I am not sure what 2010 will bring, it's still at the planning stage, but I am sure that I will make the most of it. I want to do more walking, longer distances if my health holds out. I want to keep busy busy busy, grabbing opportunities when they arise. Not waiting for things to happen but making them happen.

I have just been watching 'An Englishman in America', the last part of the life of Quentin Crisp, I love his philosophy. John Hurt played the part perfectly. In his last stage appearance, in Tampa Florida, Quentin finished with this gem. 'If there is anything that you want, don't look on the outside. Look on the inside to see if there's anything you haven't unpacked'. Love it.


  1. I think Quentin Crisp was a brilliant man. To be so honest with himself and come out when he did was incredibly brave and I admired him greatly. When my brother lived in America he looked him up in the phone book and ended up having a 2 hour chat with him. He said he was very friendly, open and funny and didn't seem to mind a complete stranger asking him lots of questions about his life.

  2. I bet that phone chat was interesting, his sense of humour makes me chuckle.

  3. Love Your blog, love the 2 notebook's idea, I will be taking a leaf out of your book in the new year! Oop's that's today I've just realised! I have been thinking over the last year I was given the gift of being able to sew and create things and I haven't used it in years, instead of spend spend this year is going to be make save make! And I am so sorry to hear about your cat, I had to make the same decision last year with one of my dogs, and I realised euthanasia for our animals is one of the kindest things we can do, there is always an element of guilt, but removing that animal from any further pain and suffering truly is the kindest thing we can do, love your blog will add myself as a follower! X

  4. He was very quick witted wasn't he. My brother said at the time that he was fascinating to talk to. I saw a documentary about him once and he lived in one room which I believe was in New York. It looked like a total dump but he seemed quite content. He definitely seemed like a strong character.

  5. May your year be full of fun and achievement.
    Watch out for those wind turbines,they make a hideous noise, affect wildlife and are not pleasant to live near.

  6. What beautiful countryside Ilona. You've given me the urge to go hiking.

  7. I would be interested to know what you think if they do build the wind turbines... I have heard that they are very noisy but from a distance they look amazing always making me think of Don Quixote and his Giants.

  8. There is a meeting in February about the turbines, they are supposed to be going behind the scarecrow or thereabouts. The village is on a hill and some of the houses will be almost inline with the propellers, but some distance away. We have got some about five miles away and I can't hear noise coming from them when I pass, even with my hearing aid in :-)

  9. Your blog reminds me to keep going. I'm going to be debt free in 6 years and I know I can do it, I know there's a simpler, less stressful, better life out there and observing the happiness and simplicity in your life reinforces my desire to live a simpler life.

  10. We don't have any wind turbines in our area. We came up to Lincolnshire twice last year (Spalding area), and I was fascinated by the windmills there - they looked so beautiful.


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