Saturday, 24 November 2012

Pruning my list

Ok, so I'm having an overhaul, a sort out, chucking out the chaff, picking out the best, or whatever you want to call it. It's been a while since I started my Facebook page, I only did it because a family member said wouldn't it be nice to keep in touch. Yes, I thought, with a lot of miles between us it would be handy to have the ocassional catch up. After that a few more people emerged once my name was found, to join my band of friends. My complete list after 15 months of membership now stands at the grand total of  23. Whoopeeee, I have 23 friends, I am ecstatic, no not really I am kidding.

Let's take a look at my friends list, without naming names, are they really my friends?  There are five people who live not very far away and I see sometimes while going about my business. They are my friends.

There are four family members, only two of them post regularly, the other two don't post at all. One of the posters is always swearing, so not very pleasant reading. Can't abide effing this and effing that.

There are five people who I used to be friends with quite a long time ago. Years have gone by and we have all gone our separate ways. These need sorting, I might keep two of these as they were very good friends.

So, who is left. One who I communicate with by email, I like her so I'll keep her. Someone I knew a couple of years ago but has not made an effort to keep in touch, even though I have with him. An ex from long long ago. I don't think he wants to know me any more. Another who I knew a couple of years ago and has moved away. I can get news of her through a friend here in the village. Someone who lives about 35 miles away, I tried to keep in touch but there has been no communication from them for a while, so I give up. A person who was a good friend but now has a completely different lifestyle, I can't relate to it. A very nice friend who has emigrated recently with his family, it's nice to see his pictures and read how he is getting on. This may fizzle out eventually as he becomes more established in his new life.

I have been checking Facebook daily since I started, and every day I am becoming more brassed off with it. What do I get, people playing this game and that game, oh yeh, so what! Games are not my thing. Tiny snippets of chit chat which need a code book to understand what the heck they are talking about. Text speak, ughhhhh. What happened to English. Text speak should be confined to text messaging only, purely to reduce the amount of times you have to press the tiny keys on a mobile phone. And what about all this chit chat. If you are not part of the exclusive little gang you are left out in the cold, just like being ignored in the playground when your so called friends don't want to play with you. It's hurtfull. Then there are the silent ones who never post at all, why are they on there in the first place, it baffles me. And then there are those who post videos from other sources, they pass videos around, share them. Or, hey look at this funny quotation, or join my campaign. Well no thanks actually.

I don't post very often on Facebook, mainly because I write on here every day, it takes all my time up. When I do post something it is a nice photo which I have taken, I think it's nice to share things with my erm friends.

So what did I expect from Facebook. I was rather hoping I could keep in touch with real friends, find out what they were up to, not make a load of fake friends who have either disappeared off the radar or I have no chance of ever meeting. The reason I have never encouraged anyone who reads my blog to join my Facebook page is because you are my bloggy friends, and we meet on here. That is fine by me. We are aquaintances, and are never likely to be true friends in the correct sense of the word. You come and go whenever you feel like it, and I love it when you pop in. You have your life, I have mine. End of.

The term friend on Facebook means someone who you might have known, a friend of a friend of a friend, someone who you used to know many moons ago who are now keen to build up their network of fake friends because big number must mean that you are a wonderful person and loved by thousands. I don't need that, so on that basis, I'm out. Got that saying from Dragons Den, ha ha. Some people announce when they are sorting out their friends list, I am just going to do it. If anyone is not prepared to put a bit of effort into being my friend they are for the chop. I add my bit to their comments, I expect them to do the same on mine. Isn't friendship supposed to be a two way thing? I've got to go out now, I'll do a bit of pruning later.
Toodle pip. have a nice weekend.

37 comments:

  1. I do not use facebook I really don't see the need i have a busy life.It annoys the devil out of me but i am a private person and like it that way.

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  2. It can be ok for the exchange of information but its no substitute for having real relationships with people.
    Welsh Poppy is right!
    Ruth

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  3. I myself don't care for Facebook either, but I am listed there.
    I probably log into FB maybe once a month...just to catch up on what's happening with some folks, since they post all of their business online.
    I love my Bloggy friends who in my opinion are nicer, and more genuine.

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  4. I really enjoy facebook. Find it a lot of fun. And you get invited to things.

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  5. I am not on facebook, but I was in the past for a while and my experience was rather like yours. I couldn't really understand why anyone would think that I wanted to know that they 'are going to Marks and Spencers', or are 'cross with the result of strictly come dancing tonight'. I thought in my naivity that people might like to keep in touch with proper real messages, but the majority are not there for that, i found. Then there were the people who requested to be your friend, only to never ever contact or reply to you - these were the ones that usually had 600 friends or more on there. I was very pleased to come out of it to be honest. Blogging is the only thing I do now, no facebook, no twitter, no linkdin and that is the way I intend it to be. A real friend will phone you, or email you and make the effort to keep in touch.

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  6. I thoroughly detest Facebook! Tried it twice and as for the 'Friends'..........
    Never tried Twitter and never will!
    Text speak...don't get me started on that one!

    Despite that, have a great weekend!

    Sandie xx

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    1. Ha Ha-woman after my own heart!
      Ruth

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  7. Hi Ilona
    thanks so much for getting back to me, I'll look into that.
    Regarding facebook, I've just removed myself from it as like you I found it annoying.
    Also I had a couple of funny emails linking back to facebook and people don't answer when you comment, or just write a couple of bits of nonsense.
    I again like you will just stick to blogging.

    Briony
    x

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  8. I hate facebook - HOWEVER it's the only way my sister is "able" to chat to me!
    Therefore I have one "friend" on facebook - my sister! lol

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  9. Have never done facebook, all a bit creepy I think. Each to their own I guess.

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  10. I use Facebook quite a bit, to sell stuff on. There are loads of local pages which are for selling stuff, and i have sold quite a few things, and also picked up some cheap Christmas presents (xbox games for my son).
    I HATE text speak, it drives me crazy!

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  11. I have a yearly clear out of "friends" on facebook and I am usually quite ruthless. The people I am really friends with keep in touch anyway. There are some people I keep as friends because of their entertainment value because some of their posts are so funny but other than that it's close friends, and family who live a long way from Cornwall and we use it as a way to share photos and things.
    Kindest Regards
    Kay

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  12. I am on facebook and have only 6 friends - one is my sister, one is Dave and of the other 4, all people from high school, there are two people that don't even say hello to me if I see them in the street and two that I only say hello to if I see them out and about! I don't play games on it and don't post things on my wall or upload photos or anything. The only reason I stay on and use facebook is because I have liked a variety of organisations such as the RSPB, national trust, various peak district sites and things like that and that keeps me up to date with news and events, locally and nationally that interest me. If I had any friends or any people that wanted to keep in touch I'd be happy to communicate with them via facebook but I don't so for me, it's only purpose is to keep me up to date with local organisations and events.

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  13. I am on FB but only started to keep a mindful eye on grandkids pic and etc. as there are a lot of creepers our there ready to pounce. I like to see families pictures but I don't play any games and the best I can tell it is a grand place to start political and religious battles of which I don't need! On line quarrels and just out and out personal battles. Then there are those who have 3,000 "friends" and post every 10 minutes on everything but their bodily functions? Come on now does anyone need this?

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  14. I'm pretty much where you are with Facebook. The person I started using it for doesn't use it any more. I thought it would be nice to keep up with my high school friends but they are so opposite in their political views and very vociferous so I 'hide' them. I have another acquaintance I 'hide' because of his language, I hate the F word too. I've had a lot of thoughts on closing the whole thing down lately.

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  15. Hiya, yes it does get frustrating! Facebook is useful for me keeping up to date with people from home whilst I am Uni. :) Half the time it's just people moaning though! I do like to keep my Friend list down to a minimum, and go through and have a Facebook cull every now and then! It's very useful for organising events too. Other than that, it can get boring if you go on there too often!

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  16. I completely agree with you, facebook is NOT a necessity. I was on facebook for about 4 years but closed down my account 10 months ago as I was so sick of people boasting about themselves, ignoring me and playing those stupid games about fish and farms. Like Frugal Living UK I thought people might want to keep in touch and actually talk not write nonsense about X Factor etc. I find it a very false way of communicating and although most people I know use facebook, real friends make and effort to keep in touch such as phoning or even texting.
    Emma

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  17. I joined Facebook reluctantly, as I regarded it as a diary which was open to public view - and any diary I might keep is strictly for my eyes only. But I was urged to join in order to see photos of the grandchildren and various friends holiday snaps, etc.
    Once I found my way around, I discovered 'Words With Friends' (an online Scrabble which can be played against multiple opponenets - I did enjoy that!)
    But after a year on FB, I was fed up with the 'I'm bored' comments (or even "I'm fu****g bored")and I really hated all those notifications to my inbox telling me that X had posted 15 funny cartoons or Y had found 13 cat-related videos . . .
    I left - and I've never regretted it, in fact there's a sense of relief.

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  18. I cannot be bothered with the games and stuff, but find it is good to keep in touch with people from other parts of the country, indeed the world - it is great to be able to see their photographs. Fortunately none of them post rubbish stuff, but do post or link to some amusing things and make me laugh, which makes me forget my pain for a while, but I agree a regular cull is a good idea

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  19. Non blogging non facebooker, no dear, there are differences. Blogging is closer to writing a journal/diary. I am not trying to entertain or connect with my fellow humans, nice, but not why I write. Comments on a blog are a bonus.

    Facebook's original premise was to stay connected to your family or friends and to chit-chat instead of using a phone or face-to-face communication. I show my family and friends how important they are to me by investing my time in communicating with them personally. I suspect that most of folks who find Facebook dissatisfying are wanting the personal aspect of the communication.

    And finally, there is a difference between being a 'friend' and a 'follower/member'.

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    1. Hi Judy, The Non blogging, non facebooker person had to make a hasty exit, him/her has left the building. Another one of those sarky comments, purely to provoke a punch up.

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  20. I enjoy Facebook and find it entertaining and useful. I have family in New Zealand and am able to keep up with their news and photos. Sometimes if I have a sleepless night I go on and have been able to 'chat' live with them. During the 2 bad earthquakes I couldnt contact my sister or her girls by phone and I was very worried. I contacted one of their friends through facebook and she had been in touch with them by mobile and was able to reassure me that they were OK.

    I use it to play word games with a friend also. As she is not in good health we dont meet often enough although we talk every day on the phone. Our long running word games give us a laugh and keep our brains working.

    I only have a few selected friends (30 ish). They are my family and the families of my 2 closest friends and I think its a great way of keeping up with what the youngsters are doing.

    So long live facebook, you are not forced to join anything, play anything or read everything that pops up just cherry pick the best bits.

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  21. I don't 'do' Facebook but I can see that it is useful for keeping in touch with others.
    Love from Mum
    xx

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  22. Hello from House fairy
    Facebook - not really into it. I joined for the freebie goods and a few competitions.
    Have 7 family members on it. I like looking at their photo's but myself. never write anything.

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  23. Agree you completely. Friendship is a two way thing.

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  24. Hi Ilona, Although I have a Facebook account, I'm not that keen on it. Kind of think along the same lines as yourself. I have relations abroad on it, it's nice to see the photos of their children as they are growing, as we don't see one another very often. I have a friend I message back and fore from time to time, and it's nice to see photos of her little puppy that she has recently acquired. There are others on my Facebook page, but they just post junk and nonsense, games I can't be bothered with. Don't use that often, I check into your blog more often than I check Facebook. Hope you managed to sort your account out and who's staying and who's for the chop. By the way, I can't stand text speak either, used to work as a typist and when I text people I do it in full. Enjoy what's left of your weekend. Cheers for now, Christy.

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  25. Exactly my thoughts as well Ilona. I joined FB about 4/5 years ago and managed to stick with it for two weeks!

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  26. I don't 'do' facebook. Blogging take enough of my time. If someone wants to communicate with me on a more pesonal level , I have e mail.
    Jane x

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  27. Hello Ilona. This is shadypinesqltr. I am over from the States visiting family and FB has just given me the means of seeing photos of my American family at our annual Thanksgiving dinner today. It meant a lot to me to see them. I am very selective about my Fb friends. It's what you make of it.
    Joan from Michigan

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  28. I use FB but only have true friends on there. have been disillusioned in the past but rejoined. a friend has just been overseas and had her updates in a closed (invited) group, this worked really well as she felt comfortable knowing that only those selected could see her posts. find some of the mindless drivel that some people post a waste of time but not a huge issue with my friends. a good way to keep in touch for friends that I don't see often due to constraints of distance

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  29. I joined Facebook just so I could keep in touch with my family, but in reality I rarely post.

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  30. Thank you for your comments. It looks like there are mixed feelings about Facebook, people use it whichever way suits them best. It hasn't done much to enhance my social life, or keep in touch with those people I thought were friends. I am fed up with the adverts on it, one reason why I like blogs better, so I'll stick with blogging.

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  31. I like fb, it keeps me in the loop with cousins, nephews, nieces as well as distant friends. I have set it up so I don't get game requests/notifications cos I'm not interested in them.

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    1. Hi Kate, you are a lot more Facebook savvy than me, perhaps I ought to learn how to manage my account better. I need to block the crap.

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  32. My personal feelings about FB are that it is a very sad reflection upon life today.I find it superficial and an ego trip for all those who feel that they should share their every trivial thought with us, their "friends" I can appreciate that families could find it useful but why not pick up the phone or send an email with attachments or better still take the time and trouble to visit or arrange a meeting.Giving time to a relative or friend is so precious. As for the jargon and gimmicks which you find on FB.....Please! We have a beautiful, expressive language why mutilate it. My partner is on FB and has withdrawn several times but his family have urged him back. They tweet,they instagram and yet they never visit. Is this a caring society or one who spends such time as it has infront of a screen "poking" friends etc on FB ? I am heartened by many of the comments which are positive about FB.....perhaps I have missed the whole point or am I just too entrenched in my ways to appreciate it. Keep up the great blog...LOVE IT

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  33. Lifelong Computer programming activist Richard Stallman made a list of what is wrong with facebook and why you shouldn't use it.
    http://stallman.org/facebook.html

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  34. It helps to remember that Facebook is based on the American idea of a college book of photos of your ex-classmates, a bit like a yearbook, and only expanded to its current usage when its members also expanded their circle of 'friends'. Which means that us British folk, who don't have such traditions, find it a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to real-life friends. I get on okay after four years of regular usage, but only after four years of pruning out the dead wood (including those who can't string two words together without one of them beginning with 'f'). So don't feel bad about not liking it-it's one of those things! Keep blogging, at least you know all about it!

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