Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Roller Coaster.

Hello. It's a good job I haven't had any children, my emotions are all over the place with a poorly cat, imagine what I would be like looking after a human. Bugsy is my baby, I've had him for almost 20 years, there will come a time when he won't be here any more and I have to get used to that.

He hasn't eaten very much for about a week, in fact Janet has had more luck in getting him to eat, than I have. I have offered him all kinds of tasty pussy cat food, fishy and meaty, with gravy and jelly, as well as an assortment of tinned fish, and sliced meat. He has turned his nose up at everything.  Janet texted me while I was away saying he had eaten.

Last night he looked as if he was fading away, and I wondered if he would still be breathing in the morning. I had almost rung the vet a couple of times yesterday but then thought, give it another hour or two, see what happens. So at 11.30pm I went to bed and he was fast asleep on his heated bed.

This morning I crept down in the dark and used a torch to check on him. A sigh of relief, he was still breathing. I let him sleep on and had my coffee in the kitchen. No food had been touched overnight, but in his litter box was a poo. Amazing, he is still able to do a poo, even if he hasn't eaten very much.

The vet suggested we could do blood tests, it might give us some more information of what might be wrong. I had decided because of his age that I didn't want to put him under any stress, so I said no.

This afternoon I moved all the bowls of food away, and brought some fresh Felix in, mashed up in a bowl. He looked interested and went straight to it, and started eating. Amazing, he almost finished it. He seemed to perk up a bit after that, so I rang the vet and said I would go for the blood tests and made an appointment for Thursday morning.

So from thinking he was at deaths door and wouldn't last much longer, I now think he might have a chance. He did eat a little bit more later on, and I am hoping he will have a little bit over night. I am now hopeful that he will still be breathing in the morning.

My goodness anyone who has been on the verge of losing a pet will understand what I am talking about. The questions that go through your head. Is it time? How will I know when it's time? Should I call the vet now or wait a bit? Are they suffering and in pain? Will it be tomorrow or a few more days? You cry, then you stop crying. You talk to them then you cry some more. You watch them, are they still breathing? You think about them lying still and lifeless when they have gone.

I had all this with Rocky and Lilly and Freddie, it doesn't get any easier. Pets are family members, your heart is broken when you lose them.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip.

41 comments:

  1. This is just to let you know I am thinking of you and your furry family xx

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  2. I think there comes a time when you know the quality of life has gone. I have gone through this so many times. It doesnt get any easier. Will be thinking of you and Bugsy. Going through it with our cat. No it does not get any easier. He is still having moments where he plays and eats and then.... Not there yet.

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  3. No words just love from ssomeone who has just lost a much loved pet amd is heartbroken xxx

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  4. Oh Ilona, feeling for you right now. 20 years of constant companionship. You've given him an amazing life. I can't have pets because of this. I'm not sure how I'd cope. Wishing you and Bugsy all the best. From Ruth (Wales)

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  5. That is upsetting. Most of my cats have lived twenty years. It's a long time to have them with you. Those questions a so true.

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  6. Poor things. Maybe he is suffering from a stomach ailment or maybe he is just getting old and tired but rallied for the tasty food. All the best to the cat and to you.

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  7. My heart aches for you Ilona, I can feel your sadness.
    I have had 3 children and can tell you that I have been more upset by the cats than I ever was over the kids.
    Kids can tell you exactly where the pain is and how they feel, animals can't do that and so we are twice as worried.
    If one of my cats is looking a bit peaky I am in bits.
    I will be thinking of you and hoping that Bugsy pulls around.
    Big over the net hugs for you
    Briony
    x

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  8. It's heart breaking. Been through it myself. Wishing you and Bugsy well and maybe a bit more time. x

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  9. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers♥ It was such a relief to read Bugsy finally managed to eat and blood tests will be on Thursday. I can relate to how you are feeling Ilona, like Laura I lost two of my furbabies within 4 weeks of each other in September and October. Sending special thoughts. Linda xx

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  10. Sending you a (((hug))) x. Awful time, not knowing what to do.

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  11. It is so heartbreaking when we lose them, he is doing very well for his age.

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  12. I feel for you Ilona.
    I have a cat Bailey, she will be 20 in Feb 2017.
    I am going through a similar experience with her. Although she is eating a little but extremely fussy. What she will eat one day, she will refuse the next day.
    I try to put out just a little food at a time.
    She sleeps a great deal and like you I look at her and wonder is she still breathing.
    I am trying to prepare myself but it is so hard.
    Sending love and hugs,
    Pam in TX.xx

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  13. I've been through this recently. Will keep you both in my thoughts. All the best.

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  14. Know where you are coming from Illona, my dogs mean everything to me, i lost my partner to cancer last year and they have being there for me.

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  15. Thinking of you Ilona.
    You give me great advice when I spoke to you. I know it's different when it's your own.

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  16. Hugs sent to you and Bugsy and all your beloved pets x

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  17. I have lived through this a number of times and know that heart in your mouth feeling.It takes over everything because you know their time is finite and you are going to have to be the "parent" and make a decision ...to be kind.All you can do is live a day at a time,letting him know how loved he is.Bless him

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  18. Hi Ilona, I've had many cats over the years, it's a heartbreaking time, but once the quality of life has gone from them, they're ready to let go. We're the ones who have the problem. After taking in an entire family of feral cats about 20 years ago (mum + 5) I decided probably no more. I love cats and when the last of the family died a year ago I couldn't bear to lose another. Saying that, there's a big ginger tom which has taken up residence in my porch - he'll come inside the doorway to eat but then goes away, he won't stay indoors for many minutes - he hangs around the house front as if to say "I live here" to everyone who sees him (he's definitely a stray). He's friendly with us - hisses at everyone else and has adopted us as his "family to feed and shelter me", but so far he hasn't made our home his own - watch this space! Thinking of you, and hoping for peaceful times for you all. love Elaine xx

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  19. I'm very sorry you're going through this. It's terribly stressful. Bugsy is a very blessed kitty to have such a wonderful mom.

    With love, Linda from Alabama

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  20. Each one takes a piece of your heart when they go.

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  21. Lots of love to Bugsy. Natalie

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  22. Thinking of you, Ilona. A difficult time but your love is a beautiful thing and I am sure Bugsy knows it.
    J xxx

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  23. Here's hoping Bugsy perks up. Thinking of you. It's so very hard when we lose our pets who are part of the family.

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  24. Thinking of you and hope Bugsy gets better soon. Your card yesterday was very pretty I make most if my birthday cards but have really cut back on Christmas cards.

    Hope it's an easier day for you today.
    Hazel c uk

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  25. Thoughts are with you both. Just remember that what you feel makes you human and your pets love you. Whatever happens now that doesn't change. xx

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  26. Yes Ilona, I know what you are going through. One of my 3 cats was recently diagnosed with cancer of the eye and I decided to do nothing rather than put her through a stressful operation at her age. I have been assured that she is not in pain and can see out of the eye.I will continue to look after her and give her the best possible life for as long as possible. You are right about pets, you can't help worrying about them like family members who can't speak to tell you what is wrong.
    Best wishes
    Colin in Kent

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  27. Having been through it twice with my own cats it's always heartbreaking. Arilx

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  28. You are right Ilona it just never gets any easier but comfort yourself with the fact he is in your loving capable hands.
    My thoughts are with you. SueM x

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  29. I really understand. We had to say goodbye a few months ago to Sam cat who had been part of our family for over 18 years. This was pussy cat 4 and no it doesn't get easier x

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  30. Oh Ilona I so fully understand what you are going through. We now have an elderly dog (just turned 12) and in the last 18 months has had several health issues, diabetes (cataracts caused by insulin) cruciate leg ligament injury and now a spleen op with two growths removed 8 weeks ago (low grade cancer diagnoses). Our vet tells us he is probably now in the last few months of his life. He means so much to us,I cannot even bear to think of him not being here or that he may suffer at all. He is such a loving, faithful and wonderful dog. Like you we watch and observe him looking out for any signals, making sure he eats, drinks and does all functions normally and is not in pain. Our walks are more like strolls and then dawdles as he loses energy very quickly. So no more lengthy walks for us. All we can do is our best for our much loved four legged friends. Take care and much love to Bugsy. Rae x

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  31. Dear Ilona
    I am totally with you on this - it never gets easier at all. Our 22 year old cat managed to keep going very well but then she started becoming incontinent when she slept. We took her to the vet who said that she may have had thyroid problems, kidney problems and various other issues, so we decided at her grand old age, it wouldn't be right to put her through tests and treatment and stress, so we had to let her go. I cried a lot. I still miss her a year later, but have lots of photos and happy memories.
    Thinking of you.

    Best wishes
    Elllie

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  32. Hi Ilona

    I'm so sorry to learn that Bugsy is poorly. I'm a cat guardian to 3 elderly moggies and fully understand how you must be feeling. Sending you both much love and healing thoughts to Bugsy.

    Julia

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  33. hope your bearing up at such a difficult time take care tessa

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  34. Hi Ilona,

    We lost our much loved cat Smudgy just last month. It was an exceptionally hard time, my heart still breaks for him. I too asked myself all of the questions you are asking yourself. Smudgy's health took a turn for the worse really suddenly over a few days, when his back legs gave in, we knew it was time. Continue as you are, keeping a close eye, you will know when it's time, Bugsy will also tell you.

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  35. It's never easy.
    We had a neighbor who would not have their dogs put down. They suffered terribly at the end. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the best thing to do.
    You're in my thoughts as you go through this.

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  36. I understand how you feel. I'll be thinking about you and Bugsy today. (((Hugs)))

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  37. Bugsy is beautiful Ilona. Such a miserable time for you. Susan (wife of Edward).

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  38. best wishes for recovery to health and happiness for Bugsy.

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  39. Keeping you both in my thoughts and hoping you and Bugsy get to spend more time together. Our time with our beloved furry families is never long enough. Having lost our once in a lifetime dog almost four years ago I feel your pain and anguish. Take care . Kristel xx

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  40. Dear Ilona. I have been in your position many times over the years with my beloved babies and know that it hurts like hell. I really hope that you get to spend a lot more time with Bugsy but, if not, please try and seek some comfort in the fact that he has been so loved for nearly 20 years. Sending you a hug x

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  41. Dear Ilona, I really know how you feel. Bugsy is a very lucky little cat and it is completely down to your love and care. I so hope you have longer together. Jane xx

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