Friday 29 March 2024

Remembering Stephen

I thought about my brother today. My younger brother Stephen. It's his birthday today. 
I don't have many photo's of Stephen. At our first house he had a pigeon loft in the back garden. We had a big garden where we could run riot, because dad never did anything with it. It was like a jungle. We had a Jack Russel which we got from the RSPCA. 
He had a Beatle hair cut. I was mad on the Beatles. 
Stephen joined the Army Cadets when he was old enough. Then later on, he joined the Regular Army. 

Me and Mum went to Whittington Barracks to watch his passing out parade. 

Then my memory of him fades. I was busy working. I remember him coming out of the army. They gave him a medical discharge. He wasn't ill, but the army taught him to drink, which was his downfall for a while. He went off the rails, what I can remember. 
I don't know what he did for a living after that. He moved to Derby and worked in a furniture shop. I had started lorry driving so I was all over the place. Stephen travelled a bit, he went to Bah Rain. I went on holiday there to see him. He had a flat with his girlfriend in Manama. I remember I wasn't able to walk around by myself  because men were staring at me. I didn't like it. 
After that he married his Indian girlfriend and they moved to Mumbai. I wanted to keep in touch with him, but he didn't reply. He distanced himself from us. We didn't hear from him for many years. He came back to the UK once as I remember. This photo was taken in our sisters garden, I think, or was it a pub garden. The last time we saw him. 
We were all on the internet then. An email came through from Stephens wife, he was very ill. He had been ill for a long time, but we didn't find out until he was taken to hospital. There was no time to go to India, and we couldn't afford the air fare. He was 59 when he passed away.
We missed out on family siblings for a long time. We went our different ways. 
I thought of my brother today. Best wishes.  ilona.  xxx

6 comments:

  1. Life can be sad sometimes Ilona. It's a similar situation with my own brother. We lost touch for many years, now I only get an email twice a year but no actual real contact as such. Life has to go on, and people will always make their own choices.

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    1. You are right. My brother and I are of the same mold. We were both independent, both had our own ideas. We did our own thing. He couldn't find any future in the UK. After leaving the army he couldn't settle in a job and looked elsewhere, so he travelled. Nobody's fault, it's just how it is.

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  2. Am really surprised you found Bahrain uncomfortable, it was one of the most liberal countries in that part of the world.

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    1. That was 40 years ago. I had no interest in what was happening on the other side of the world. All I know is that I didn't like the way men called after me, hanging out of passing cars and truck windows, whistling, cat calling I think you call it. I only went a walk by myself once and quickly hurried back to the apartment. After that I only went out with my brother.

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  3. Did your brother have any children? If so maybe they would share their memories with you. I have the same type of relationship with one of my brothers. We have always been like oil and water. Can't be helped and honestly I prefer the distance.
    Just want to say I admire your moxie.
    JC

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    1. He didn't. I don't know if it was a conscious decision, or it just never happened.

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