Thank you all for your kind comments, I'm feeling a bit better today, after a day of reflection. I got on with a few jobs around the house, sewing, repotted some plants, harvesting vegetables and cooking some beetroot.
I had a phone call from Aparajitaa, she said Stephen was cremated yesterday morning, and today she has to collect his ashes. She sounded a bit more composed than she had done previously, it must have been terrible for her the last month, with only her brother to support her. She is a lot younger than Stephen, I met her once in Bahrain, a very level headed girl. I am very gratefull to her for keeping us informed, and for the devotion she has shown to my brother in his hour of need. When she has had time to come to terms with what has happened, she plans to come to England, maybe in the spring of next year. I would like to keep in touch with her, I can show her all the places where Stephen grew up.
Day141, yes that is me and Stephen in the photo, mum used to take us on bus trips to Skegness. Do you like Stephen's rolled up trousers with braces, and my skirt tucked in my pants ;-)
Vicky, I only remember Stephen up to about the age of 18, I left home, and he joined the army. When he came out he got married and lived in Derby, and I came back home for a while, so I saw him a bit more often then. He has not lived in England for about 20 years, it is so easy for families to lose touch.
Billie Jane, I don't need to go to India to say goodbye, I can do it here. I believe that when the spirit leaves the body it goes on a long journey, and can re appear anywhere.
And so, for the rest of the week I am busy with dogs, a welcome distraction, life goes on. I have Teddy here with me at the moment, isn't he lovely, so cute.
Later I will walk Teddy and Ben together, they get on well. I took this photo of Ben last week.
Wednesday afternoon Jessica is coming for a sleepover, Henry is coming for two sleepovers Friday and Saturday, and on Saturday Lady will need walking as well. Next week I will have some free time, I think I will go hostelling.
I thought you might like to see some of my re potting. These are an old pair of work boots, fill them with compost and put a couple of plants in them. They are sitting outside my front door now.
Once again, thank you all for being there for me, my coping mechanism is to keep busy, and make every day count. You can't change what has already happened, but you can sure as hell change what is ahead of you.