Saturday, 2 October 2010

On the other side of the motorway

I really shouldn't have opened this bottle of wine, because it's making me cry. I haven't cried for a long time, mostly I am happy, mostly I get on with life and make the best of it. But just for the moment, I want to cry.

Today I had a phone call, a very dear friend rang to ask how I was. After a few minutes he said, 'get the kettle on, I am round the corner'. I hadn't seen him for over two years, I was thrilled.

I first met him twentyfive years ago, I was delivering new trucks, and hitching lifts up and down the motorways with my trade plates. He picked me up at junction 15 of the M1 in his Foden artic, and dropped me off at Newbury on the M4 where I carried on to Swindon. We hit it off immediately when I climbed into his cab, non stop chattering all the way. He was easy to talk to and we had a great laugh, when you have good company you don't notice the miles passing by.

After that, I looked out for his distinct dark blue truck which was his pride and joy. You could tell it was him by the shiny paintwork, he was always polishing it. Often we would wave to each other going in opposite directions. Sometimes, we would bump into each other on an overnight stop, on service stations or lorry parks. He very soon became my best mate.

There was long periods of time when we never saw each other, a couple of years or more would pass by and no sign. I didn't know if he worked for the same company or had perhaps moved on. I remember about seven years passed and I thought I would never see him again. Then there he was, flashing his lights on the other side of the motorway.

There were amazing coincidences, I would be in a little world of my own, automatic pilot almost, cruising down the motorway, when he appeared in my thoughts and I wondered where he was and what he was doing. All of a sudden, a few minutes later there he was on the other side, waving at me. Uncanny. It happened many times.

Today he came on his black motorbike, dressed in black leathers. A little older, a bit less hair, but still the same lovely smile, the same warm personality. A cup of coffee, a friendly chat, so why am I shedding a tear or two? Because he is not free. Don't worry, I'll be alright tomorrow, you have to be, don't you?


  1. I can see why you are crying Ilona, nostalgia maybe. What a bunner he is not free...maybe he might, might have been the one, your soul mate. You will be okay tomorrow because you are strong xx

  2. Ah, so sad and I totally understand why you are upset! It's like a Nicholas Sparks novel. :-) Hope you feel better soon. x

  3. I can relate to how your feeling,i'v been there myself!!you will be ok,this sadness will pass,and you will spring back,xx.

  4. so near yet so far, life doesn't seem fair sometimes.

  5. I didn't drink all the wine, there is some left for tomorrow. Yes, sharon, he could have been my soulmate, if circumstances were different.

  6. sometimes life can be soooo sad. But so sweet too... he has enriched your life so much and how sad would it be if you had never met him at all! (In case you don't go back over to my blog this week... yes of course you are more than welcome on holiday... we hope the area will be great for walkers but you will have to wait three years yet!)

  7. Aww such a shame. You never know one day . . .?

  8. Sometimes an encounter can trigger the loneliness we all carry in the corners of our hearts. Its good to cry and have a glass of wine and wonder where the time has gone. Real friendship is hard to find.

  9. Hi Ilona, I really feel for you. His visit clearly stirred up many happy memories. A great shame for you that such a genuine friend did not become your soulmate but it was nice of him to look you up after two years and if for any reason his circumstances should change he would be back to you, I'm sure. Who knows what fate has in store for us. Maybe tomorrow you will meet someone else who will become a genuine friend and even your soulmate. I will keep you in my prayers that you remain strong.

    Today I read extracts of Susan Boyle's story in the Daily Mail on line. It's amazing what adversity she came through in her life before reaching her present success and happiness, none of which she could ever have imagined.
    Look after yourself but go easy on the alcohol. Don't end up Winehoused!

  10. You are the most amazing person. It takes an awful lot of strength to live your life the way you do. I`m sure you will fight your way back to the top! Friends are here to encourage you in what you do. XXX Hugs!!

  11. Thank you for your comments, I was feeling a bit down yesterday, hence the very short post. But hey, it's Monday, the start of a fresh brand spanking new week, let's look forward not back.

    Anna, I also read the Susan Boyle extract of her new book. She has amazing talent which wasn't recognised early enough, but with her perseverence she has won through in the end, and now enjoys the rewards which she so greatly deserves. My life has been dead easy compared to hers.

    Justine, I like that, 'you never know, one day' That's just what I think, there is always something round the corner......maybe, just maybe....

    Sarina, I think the way I live my life is normal, I was given just one life, there will be no second bite at the cake, this is it. Every minute counts, it's looking like a nice day outside, so let's not waste it, some garden tidying needs doing.

    4 October 2010 02:44