Friday, 20 July 2012

If it aint broke, leave it alone

I had a phone call this morning which almost rendered me speechless. It was one of those sales chat thingys, you know, when some stranger rings up and instantly wants to be your best friend. They say, 'Hi, how are you this fine morning?' All chummy chummy like. This one was called Jason. If they catch me at the wrong time I usually answer with a brief 'No thanks, I don't want one,' or, 'I don't wish to speak to you,' and immediately put the phone down.

This morning however I decided to listen to his spiel, as he was a well spoken, presumably English person, with no hint of a foreign accent. He knew my name of course, they all do, and he spoke in a friendly manner. He asked me about my Dyson vacuum cleaner, how long had I owned it. I replied, 'Oh I don't know, ages.'

I added that I am pleased with it, and that it does the job very well. I wondered what the reason for his call was, is he about to try and sell me another one, or some other appliance with the Dyson name on it. I was intrigued as to why someone should want to chat about my Dyson.

The next line from his script revealed all. 'When did you last have it serviced, was it recently?' I nearly choked on my bran flakes. This dozy so and so was trying to sell me a chuffin service for my vacuum cleaner, I ask you, what a plonker. Does anyone get their Dyson serviced in this day of austerity, of cutting back, of watching every penny? I shouldn't think so. I have never in my life had a vacuum cleaner serviced, and I aint going to start now. There are far more important things to spend my money on, the only thing that gets serviced is my car these days.

I couldn't help myself with my reply. 'Serviced, good God, I never get it serviced. I am not one of those people who get it out every day, I hate housework. It gets used maybe two hours every month, that's enough for me. If it works it works, if it stops it stops, that's it.' Then he was stuck for words, and said 'Goodbye, thank you for your time.'

I know there is someone who is going to say I can have these sales calls barred, but to be honest, I don't mind some of them, they are a great source of amusement.

Bye the way, I've just dug out the receipt for my Dyson. It was purchased in March 2002, from Comet. So for ten years it has been working fine without any meddling from me. The book gives instructions on how to wash the pre-motor filter, apparently it should be done every six months, what a faff, I won't bother. If it aint broke leave it alone, that's my motto. Toodle pip.   


  1. The one that amazed me was the one who said "According to our records you had a trip or fall". I said NO, that's not me. Without missing a beat he went on "Do you have a computer in your house?"...

    Seems like they have the "solution" for everything.

    Yes, you get TPS listed, but that will only stop sales or marketing calls.
    TPS does not stop other call types such as market research, debt collection, silent calls, scam calls and general nuisance calls.

  2. We don't touch ours either. As you say the moment we do....

    Sft x

  3. I did not know servicing a vacuum was recommended. In 46 years I have owned 2 vacuums. The first one was replaced because of a damaged hose that could not be replaced. I don't suspect overuse is going to kill this

    That really annoys me for people to call and act like we are the best of friends. "Hi, how are you today?" in a chirpy voice. Sometimes, I like to toy with them.

    Call b;ocking does not cut down on political surveys. So, between now and November (presidential election) I will be bombarded.

  4. Oh dear, you know what sods law is going to do now don't you?

  5. Who on earth would have a vacuum cleaner serviced!! I've had my Miele vacuum since 1997 and it's still working perfectly. Mind you, it doesn't get an awful lot of use as I'm not a great fan of housework!

  6. never had our vacuum cleaner serviced either, very strange

    Gill in Canada

  7. Quite the quickest and most permanent way of discouraging cold-callers is to tell them that they have a very sensual voice and to then ask them what they are wearing. If you fail to hear the dial-tone immediately after that then escalate to telling them what _you_ are wearing. I usually admit to being clothed in only three dabs of cologne and a smile ...

    Works every time and they never call back! Being a bloke helps here, of course.

  8. He sounded ok but I had a very dodgy call from a finance company last week to say that my OH had applied for a loan and need some extra information in order for it to be processed, he started asking all sorts of questions; address, income, had we ever defaulted? Do we have a mortgage? etc Then he asked me my mothers maiden name and I suddenly realised that I was actually filling in a form over the phone, told him to phone back later when OH was here. Turns out OH had never heard of them. Very devious.

  9. I LOVE playing the phone games with these cold callers:
    "Hi, how are you today?"

    I'm actually feeling really depressed, can I talk to you about it....?
    Oh My God! Thank God you phoned!! You'll never believe what she's gone and done now.....?

    Say "yes" to everything they say - even when they ask for your name.
    Or simply repeat back what they say, word for word.

    Such fun!

  10. The only calls I get are the pre-recorded ones, I've never had a 'real' person on the end of the line.
    Shame really, don't get the chance to tell them where to go !

  11. You're supposed to service vacuum cleaners?? Not in this house :-)

    With cold calls I like to say " I'm really glad you called, I like to make a special point of talking to at least one person each day about Jesus..." The dialling tone follows soon after I find....
    I think I'll try Fostermummys tips too XD

  12. It is worth washing the washable filter..and it is easy!
    (mine is a Dyson too!)

  13. We get lots of these calls. Sometimes I have fun with them and sometimes just terminate the call quickly depending on my mood.
    Two recent calls:
    Cold caller: "Can I speak to Sarah Morgan please" {not my name!}
    Me: "you have the wrong number"
    CC: "how do you know I have the wrong number?"

    CC: gave the usual spiel about my computer being full of viruses
    Me: "I don't have a computer"
    CC: "Are you sure?"
    Me: "How can I check?"
    CC: "Pardon?"
    Me: "I like to help you - please tell me how I can check that I don't have a computer"
    CC hangs up.

  14. One poor bugger had the unfortunate accident of waking me up from a nap back when I was working two jobs. I was living on nearly zero sleep, so when he said "Hi, I would like to ask you a few questions about your recent visit to NatWest" I may have got a bit shirty. Poor bloke, I'm usually nice to these people because I know that working in customer service sucks!!

  15. I hate those sales phone calls and am registered with the telephone preference service, I quickly point this out and demand that they remove my details from their database immediately...
    Am I the odd one out here? Any vacuum cleaner works much more efficiently with clean filters. I ensure that my Dyson belt is tight and replace when required, and the filters are clean. I've had it for more years than I care to remember, and am a dab hand at stripping any part of it down to repair or replace - It's a bit like that old song - it's 'ad a new 'andle and a new 'ed, but it's the same original axe!

  16. I love Owl Wood's method!! That should fix them quick!

  17. I agree, I have had my Henry for about 10 years, I use it every now and again, but with mostly hard flooring I generally just brush and mop. Never had Henry serviced, and probably never will. Everyone is just out to get their hands on your money these days. When I get 'those' phone calls I tell them I want to be removed from their database.
    Sometimes I get a call from people claiming to be from firms that I do actually use, like my phone/broadband company called last week and then asked me to confirm who I was by telling her 2 digits from my password - 'erm, no, you rang me honey. you could be anyone, I am not going to give you any personal information.' She said 'we have some important information to give you, but I need these 2 digits from your password to confirm your identity' 'Well, sorry , thats not going to happen, you will just have to find another way to let me know what this important info is' She hung up.

  18. I always try to get rid of unwanted callers quickly...telling them I'm a waste of their time as I do no business over the phone unless I instigate it...if that fails, well I start singing and that would scare anyone off!

  19. I do agree about washing the filters. The Dyson will work more efficiently and last longer, as the motor will not have to work as hard. Very frugal!

  20. Caller ID takes care of these problems - free where I live.


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