Monday, 15 July 2013

Getting rid of the kink

I had an idea for a post but thought some people might find it a tad distasteful, so it got put on the back burner. Today I had a bowel cancer screening kit arrive in the post, and my idea sort of ties in with this. I have to say at this point that if you find talking about normal bodily functions a bit yucky you might want to move on to the next blog and come back tomorrow.
It's two years since I last did this test, it involves taking samples from your own poo, and posting it off to a laboratory for analysis. Simple and easy to do. I urge anyone who is offered this not to throw it in the bin, but to follow the instructions and send in your samples. The test is offered free of charge, and it could save your life. I shall be sending mine sometime this week. 
Now for the next bit. You know my mantra about toilet paper usage, oh no not that again I hear you say. Well I want you to say it all together now, 2 for a pee, 3 for a poo. Yes it is possible. If you have a messy bum and you need to use more paper, your diet is wrong. But there is something else which you can do to make your evacuation quick and clean, and that is to alter your position on the toilet.
Did you know that we should all be in a squatting position while we perform this function, and not actually sitting on the lavvy. It's all to do with the angle of the colon. Sitting obstructs the passage of waste through it, squatting makes elimination faster, easier, and complete. There are many health benefits to squatting. Have a read of this web site, Toilet Related Ailments, it explains everything.
It would be impractical for everyone to go out and buy a new squatting type toilet, and there is no need to. There are ways that you can alter your own position in your own bathroom for very little cost. If you wanted to you could buy a contraption, like this one from Lillipad  They also have a plan to build your own if you are reasonable at woodwork. I could probably make one out of pallets by just looking at the picture, it wouldn't be that difficult.
If you didn't fancy doing the full squat, you could do as I do, have a stool in your bathroom, pull it close to you when it's time to do the biz, and put your feet up on the step. Bring your knees up to your chin, that way it will take the kink out of your colon, for a quick exit.   
Sitting on the lavvy reading the paper is not the right way to go about things. In the past people have joked about how long it has taken them, when other people are waiting to use the loo. It's not funny. It's far more healthy to be quick in and quick out. Why not give this method a go. Try it for yourself. Bye the way, this is not a sponsored post.   

26 comments:

  1. A work colleague sent this test away,, it saved his life. Is it only sent to the over sixties?
    And a very informative post.

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    1. In Scotland it's offered to everyone between 50-74, and the screening is every two years. I've done it once (I'm 51) and my husband twice (he's 52). Thankfully both okay at the moment. Worth getting tested when it is free! Great post!

      Lesley H in Livingston.

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  2. About your last paragraph, my (still ) husband sits on the loo for half an hour to keep his poo in. I never understood this. It sometimes got so bad that when we lived in our previous home and when I was pregnant I peed in the bathtub, I was that desperate. In our present home we have two toilets and no bathtub, just a shower. Sorry for this tale, but this habit bothered me for years.

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  3. hee hee sponsored by whom? the mind boggles!

    Yes, do your poo-sticks everyone, don't float them down the stream and under the bridge like Winnie the Poo.

    By the way I told DH what you said about the quilted loo roll :-D

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  4. Very entertaining - there'll be acrobatics in this house tomorrow.
    Love from Mum
    xx

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  5. I would fall off one of those things!Probably not a good idea for dodgy knees!

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    1. It works also to lift the seat and sit on the porcelain - puts you in the squatting position without having to raise the feet.

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  6. Oh no Meanqueen on the throne.
    When i read some of the studies in the newspapers etc. telling us all what we should and shouldn't be doing and eating i sometimes consider what we humans would have done in say medieval times. Before toilets we would have squatted which is surely the correct position.
    Our diet would also have been whatever was available.
    Dave

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  7. You wouldn't believe how timely this post is, I shall be trialing this method, but don't worry shall not be informing you of the results so to speak.

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  8. Maybe thats why they have the "Spread Axle Loos" in places like France, Turkey, most Eastern Bloc Countries and Greece. Plus a bucket to put soiled paper in, Not very sanitary, real stinky holes in the ground.

    Danneke

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  9. You had me laughing out loud by the third paragraph! All that effort to save a few squares of toilet paper..... You are a hoot!

    On the other hand your message re testing for colon cancer is spot on!.

    Enjoying your posts immensely.

    Ann from Canada

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  10. Recently posted off my specimen for the first time, have to say with some trepidation !
    But all well so agree with you if you have the chance seaze it.

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  11. My grandmother died from Colo-rectal cancer. It's too easy to do this test and it can save your life!

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  12. Great post Illona - squatting is the way to "go" just think how we would go if outside!

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  13. Good informative and tasteful post on a needed subject. Good for you! BTW we have those tests here in the States also. My 75 year old husband had a phobia about doing them and would throw them out. His doctor starting telling him if he didn't start sending them in he would have to do the colonoscopy. Somehow that worked! Now he does his testing (but not without a lot of sighing and fussing!) I've heard about the squatting thing also, but have never tried it. I've heard sitting on the pot for long periods of time reading, but not straining, can still give one hemorrhoids just from the unnatural pressure on that area.

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  14. I'm a squatter ...in the nicest way ,of course!
    Janex

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  15. My husband grew up in Africa ,he was taught to squat while standing on the rim of the toilet.He still does this if he isnt sure of the hygine of the loo he is using.Please do the tests its so easy.

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  16. Interesting read MQ. I'm glad you don't shy away from such subjects as it's important to have healthy eliminations. Also a reminder (particularly with this hot weather) to drink lots of water to keep everything moving as it should. I've never really understood how people have time or inclination to read on the toilet - I'm in and out asap (but then I'm a mum haha). Debbie.

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  17. Great post I have just had colonoscopy but not successful due to adhesions from hysterectomy so was sent for colon scan. I have had the all clear. I have started to use a stool and what a difference it has made and also doing exercises to strenghthen the muscle that pushes it all out as I was suffering leakage problems. Never put of the tests they are life savers.

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    1. Glad you have the all clear. Yes, using a stool to elevate the feet does make a difference. I have had a hysterectomy and the stool works for me.

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  18. Good post, also what about if you have any bleeding(bright red) or (black) blood/mucus from your bottom, all the hype tells you to go your Dr, but what if the Dr then says it's nothing to worry about?, this is without doing any examination or tests? yes you can change Dr's but this person has been to all the practices in the area, perhaps time for a complaint?
    Josie x

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    1. Josie, a Doctor should send someone for tests if they have symptoms as you have described. I'm not sure why a person would, 'go to all the practices in the area'. Normally a person would be registered at one surgery. You can usually find a Doctor which suits you. Only the person with the symptoms can decided whether to complain or not.

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    2. sorry, the person is registered with one surgery but has not been happy with the care so far so has at various times been registered with the other Dr's in the area to see if the care is any better, sadly so far it is not. I personally find it disgusting the someone is bleeding, is vomiting and in pain and gets told that it is nothing to worry about!

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  19. interesting post. How does the stool actually work as I cant visualise where you put your feet. is the stool in front of you. I have never been able to squat as my knees just wont take that position. I am all for people doing the tests. I work in a surgery and you would not believe how many people don't send them in. The problem is if you don't use it you will loose it and it must cost a fortune to send all the kits out. I have added your link to my favourites so will have a read up. Thanks illhona

    Anne worcestershire

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    1. Hello Anne. The stool goes at the front of the toilet as close as you can get it. Step over it and put both feet on the bottom step after you have sat down. The angle of your body is not quite so acute as squatting, but it does work.

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  20. Hi Ilona, an interesting post to me as I'm a Senior Physiotherapist in a hospital Urotherapy department.

    We teach people to "go" in the "old man reading" position. Lean forward, put your elbows on your knees with your hands held up as if reading a newspaper. This puts you in the correct position to empty your bowels.

    By using the stool you're only putting your thighs at a different angle (no colon in thighs!)

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