Friday, 29 November 2013

Nellie answers a few questions. Guest post

I feel a Nellie coming on, so I'd better ask her opinion on this topical topic. Come on Nellie, where do you stand on all this. Why were people queuing up at the shops this morning, three hours before they were due to open? Why did they push and shove so hard when the doors opened, which caused people to end up in hospital, one with a broken bone? Why did they turn into crazy vultures and strip the shelves of their electrical gadgets within minutes?  Why did they do this, Nellie?

And while you are at it, please answer me this. Why are people getting into a lather about Christmas?  Why are they filling the car parks at the shopping centre's and charging around the shops like something possessed? Why are they stressing about what gifts to buy? Why are they thrashing their credit cards, which is going to take them the whole year to pay off? Why are people going mad buying new kitchens, new bathrooms, three piece suites, and God knows what else, to be delivered in time for Christmas? Why, Nellie?

Well Meanqueen, it's like this. People are like sheep, they follow each other to the slaughter. Joe Bloggs down the road has a new cinema screen installed in his front lounge, and everybody wants one. In fact they want one even bigger. People are programmed to want more than their neighbours, which brings nothing but heartache when they get a visit from the Bailiffs and have their stuff repossessed because they can't keep up the payments.

You may have noticed that December the 25th is one 24 hour period in 365 days. On this day people are programmed to stuff themselves silly, get boozed up to the eyeballs, collapse in front of the tele, fall asleep, get up, stuff themselves even more, then puke it all up. All good fun, eh! Oh, and that isn't all, they spend the next few months trying to get rid of the weight they put on, because they forgot that their eyes are bigger than their bellies, and their gobs are bigger than their bum holes.

Well that's very good of you to explain all that Nellie. I think I'm going to drop out of this Christmas lark, not going to send any cards, not going to buy any presents, and definitely not going to elbow my way through the crowds at Tesco and queue at the checkouts. Folks must be mad running around like headless chickens, all for one chuffin day.

I quite agree MQ. Why put yourself through all that stress, folks must be bonkers. Me? I'm going to bugger off out the way, got myself booked on a cruise for six weeks, I'll be back when it's all over, ha ha.

Oooh Nellie, you are a one, you crack me up. Good idea though, can you fit me in your suitcase?
Toodle pip.

28 comments:

  1. I'm certainly not following the flock here at Marigold Mansions!! I will do what I enjoy and no more. No plastic cards will be waved and no bills will arrive in the new year.

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  2. I've just had a very similar conversation today with my teen son. He received some money early for Christmas and it was burning a hole in his wallet! I explained that just because it's Christmas, it shouldn't be all about material things and presents and spending money because that's what you're supposed to be doing at this time of year. I suggested he spent a little of the money on something he wants and to save the rest. We had the conversation about 'following the sheep' and that Christmas should be about having some time off together away from the distractions of school and work, and enjoying a walk and a nice meal, not about having lots of presents and filling the house with unnecessary clutter.


    I am debating whether to stop Christmas cards and I think I will. It's a lot of work and money, not to mention the environmental cost. It's funny Ilona, because I think more and more people are wanting a simple Christmas. I've spoken to several people who are stopping buying and exchanging gifts and cards.

    No credit cards here at all! And judging by the statistics on the news this week about the number of people in serious debt in this country, more people should have a think about getting into debt over Christmas.

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  3. It's 'Black Friday' here in America. It's a day where all the stores have Christmas deals. My husband and I stay safe at home and away from the madness. I just find it so ironic that such a Christian Holiday has turned into this great big commercial monster. I wish I could say that it's why I stopped Christmas a few years ago, but even with things looking up money wise...I'm just done with all of it. (I will still decorate the house though.) Have fun on your cruise, Nellie. ;)

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  4. I blame the Jones's

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  5. I`d also like a space in Nellie`s suit case, please! Can I request to be dropped off in Morocco? I`d gladly spend my holidays there, sitting in the sunshine, sipping cool water and eating fresh fruit and veggies. Please, Nellie, just drop me off near Essauira. That`ll do me just fine!

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  6. Black Friday from the States has crept into the UK and unfortunately will get more dominent in the years to come. I just don't understand who would want to get into a fight over a toaster or telly, in the past theres been people stabbed or pepper sprayed in the USA just for squabbling over stuff. Materialism is just something that doesn't interest me, neither is keeping up with any Jones's, most of our remaining electrical stuff is from the 90's and I still use an ancient Nokia phone - "if it aint broke" springs to mind.

    Christmas also use to be a 2 day public holiday where the shops shut, now come Boxing Day and people are out again in droves to the sales before they have had chance to digest Christmas dinner. I don't hate Christmas itself but I do hate what it has become.

    Elaine from Oldham

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  7. "I don't hate Christmas itself but I do hate what it has become."

    I think this sums it up nicely.

    I wouldn't like to estimate the tonnage of timber used to make all the cards, packaging and wrapping paper used for this national extravaganza, all to result in yet more waste to dispose of.

    Think I'll take a leaf out of Nellies book and disappear somewhere warm for a week or so, South of France sounds good.

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  8. All very true. I think Black Friday is a national embarrassment for the US. I hate to think the rest of the world is following our lead.
    And I think a big problem is all the drinking! Drunks on the road killing people right and left. One drink is not enough. People get blind drunk and then get behind the wheel of their car. Not only are they drunk, they are stupid. They try to blame the liquor when it is really their own stupidity. I wish we would start locking them up and throw away the key. That feels better. Now I know how Nellie feels.

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  9. I love Christmas but hate the commercialism and this year will be simple.
    I do send Christmas cards but only from a charity. This year I have them from the cancer council as my nephew died this year from cancer. It is awful the way research has to rely on the public so much.
    Nellie you can always come to Australia but you would need to go outback or find a deserted beach!!

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  10. The whole thing is horrid now. That really is too bad, to take lovely holidays that we may have actually enjoyed when we were little kiddies and to now make it so wretched that we don't want anything to do with them. I'll keep these holidays in my own way, and reject what they've become. I won't even buy groceries today, as I don't want to be part of that whole thing.

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  11. Glad to know that Nellie is still around to impart her wisdom that keeps us on the straight and narrow.
    These American things worry me, the wasted pumpkins, flour and eggs at Halloween and now supermarkets selling unneccesary cheap stuff and causing riots. Its black friday in my book spending money on stuff you don't need.
    I like Christmas as long as the spending is under control and i'm quite happy to stay at home.
    Its sort of good for the economy when people spend money on Christmas although it goes quiet in the New Year and theres not much work til Easter.
    Dave.

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  12. Hey!! Don't blame the Jones's! I'm a Jones and if I had my way I'd say let everyone else do the craziness and greed, just give me the one day away from it all to enjoy Christmas as it should be. Easter has the Easter Bunny, Harvest Thanksgiving is Turkey Day and Evening of All Saints Day is Halloween. We are all so gullible, not to mention greedy. It's good to have some fun but we just don't know when to stop.

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  13. Hello kindred spirit, I have just written a similar post. People just piss me off with their stupid grab all attitude. Love your blog it is in my top few..keep up the ace work :)

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  14. Oh don't get me started on this. I dread it every year. I have yet to tell the boss I am not joining in the secret santa as I don't want to buy or receive Tat that will end up at the charity shop. I don't buy Christmas presents anymore and me and hubby are so relieved that we do not have to follow the lemmings as they jump over the cliff. The money we have saved will have to see us through our old age so I am not going to see it slip through the sieve for unwanted unneeded crap. I will enjoy my meal and raise a toast and that will be that.

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  15. Hello Nellie, you are so right! Its been years since I shopped at a busy time, but on Friday at lunch time I found myself in Tesco, crazy busy. It was an out of character moment for me. My oh and I have been invited out and I wanted a pretty sweater that was not going to cost much and could not find a thing in the usual charity shops! Oh well at least I got the sweater and another nice top, with a 25% discount.
    I love the whole roast dinner thing. And will keep it simple roast joint whatever I can get cheap with mash potatoes onion gravy, carrots and peas and roast parsnips. Yorkshires.
    To be honest lots of times I serve my meal with all the veggies and onion gravy and leave out the meat. I do this style meal through the year at times. On Christmas day we are having lasagne requested! with salad and garlic bread. Wine. Pud will be latter in the day. So we do not get stuffed and maybe the odd choc in the evening. And that's it for the day food wise. The next day will be leftovers! Am I crazy I love cold lasagne and garlic bread.....the others micro theirs! Oh well Nellie its no more spending for me except for food! take care Ginny

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  16. They are indeed sheep Nellie. I often wonder if it's because we are the Joneses, we don't feel the need to keep up with the Joneses!
    So far for Christmas, Me and Twiglet have made some chutney and Christmas cakes. We've invited our parents round for the big day and We aren't buying new stuff. They are bringing spare plates,chairs and We are borrowing a bigger table from our scout hut - it's about who you spend your time with not how much you spend.
    Twiggy

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  17. Well, if more people were wanting a simple Christmas, why don't they have one? I absolutely hate Christmas. I am not religious but I appreciate that it is a religious ceremony and it has been ruined by commercialism and lemmings. If husband and I were just on our own we would not bother at all. I send cards, as some people I only communicate with through them, and would not write to them or phone them, I buy presents for Mum, son, d-i-l, inlaws & niece/nephews. I get a tin of sweets or something for two neighbours. I think that's all but it's more than enough.

    I might use the credit card but it's more of a convenience and it is ALWAYS paid off. No compromise there. I don't want husband to buy me a present, he's no money anyway and I would rather he gave me some of his time and did something for me.

    Oh, to be away on a Scottish Island (hopefully it's not blowing a gale and pouring down) over the period.

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  18. Too commercialised these days!

    It's Jesus and people that really matter.

    X

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  19. Our Christmas involves no presents.Only a few e cards. I cook lovely (healthy) meals, hubby takes a few days off work and we enjoy the time together...pleasing ourselves...and not getting into debt. Suits us just fine.
    Jane x

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  20. I always want to keep the holidays simple and one year I bought small gifts for some of my relatives and they just looked very puzzled and didn't even say thanks for the effort. I used to put such effort into trying to come up with appropriate gifts for people. I always think the thought is important and not how much you spend but I have been so disappointed in the reactions of people and how they accept gifts. It's like they just have so much that a little gift from my heart means nothing. They just don't get it. I have now reduced my gift list to my closest relatives and a couple of nice neighbors. It's sad to have to feel this way. The holiday is supposed to be joyful and spiritual but it's not any more.

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  21. It has lost its true meaning now hasn't it. I intend to enjoy the company of the people I love for the day and actually chill out.

    X x

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  22. Hello, Ilona,

    Loved your Nellie post today! I went over to Harrogate today with a friend. (Not to go shopping!) And there they all were, shopping shopping shopping, carrying their little printed paper boutique bags and queuing at the cash machines. They even have a Christmas Market and special shops selling santa rubbish. My friend was disgusted. Her comment - 'It's appalling wasting the earth's resources to make all this Christmas trash that's just going to end up in landfill in a few weeks time!'

    My late father's opinion of Christmas went something like this: 'Ruddy Christmas, sat in the gloom in front of the fire, cracking nuts, listening to the Queen……' and, No, I don't 'celebrate' Christmas either. I'll be over at Withernsea at another friend's having what we call a non-Christmas - a dip in the sea, a non christmas dinner cooked by her mum followed by sci-fi and horror films -The Santa From The Black Lagoon. Etc.

    Ho Ho Ho

    Paul H

    (sorry to send Emails, but I won't join google friend, facebook etc. )

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  23. Meanqueen and Nellie Knowitall
    have launched a range of undies
    made from Tesco carrier bags
    Its coming out on Sunday

    Theres slogans written on them
    But they are a little crass
    Then knickers for example
    Say BOGOF on the ass

    And boobs they usually come in pairs
    So i was surprised to see
    The slogan on the brassiere
    Says buy one get one free

    i wonder about the slogans
    And what it is they say
    Who would wear such knickers
    'Have you had your 5 a day?'

    For the fellas, budgie smugglers
    To enhance themselves
    Emblazoned with the slogan
    Every little helps

    by a bored trucker waiting to tip.

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  24. Dave you make me laugh. I almost zapped this as it read like a troll had written it, but then I realised it is from my friendly trucker. I remember well the hours spent totally frustrated at having to wait to get tipped. Maybe you could take up knitting, or crochet, or even quilting. All can be done while sitting in a parked up lorry. Best wishes.

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  25. Hi Ilona, i try not to do nights away but i was parked up near Glasgow waiting to tip on tuesday morning.
    I don't know about sewing and knitting although it'd make the cab more homely with matching curtains and bedding. I think i'd prefer woodwork or rebuilding a motorbike but the oil and sawdust would be a problem.
    Dave.

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