I feel a Nellie coming on, so I'd better ask her opinion on this topical topic. Come on Nellie, where do you stand on all this. Why were people queuing up at the shops this morning, three hours before they were due to open? Why did they push and shove so hard when the doors opened, which caused people to end up in hospital, one with a broken bone? Why did they turn into crazy vultures and strip the shelves of their electrical gadgets within minutes? Why did they do this, Nellie?
And while you are at it, please answer me this. Why are people getting into a lather about Christmas? Why are they filling the car parks at the shopping centre's and charging around the shops like something possessed? Why are they stressing about what gifts to buy? Why are they thrashing their credit cards, which is going to take them the whole year to pay off? Why are people going mad buying new kitchens, new bathrooms, three piece suites, and God knows what else, to be delivered in time for Christmas? Why, Nellie?
Well Meanqueen, it's like this. People are like sheep, they follow each other to the slaughter. Joe Bloggs down the road has a new cinema screen installed in his front lounge, and everybody wants one. In fact they want one even bigger. People are programmed to want more than their neighbours, which brings nothing but heartache when they get a visit from the Bailiffs and have their stuff repossessed because they can't keep up the payments.
You may have noticed that December the 25th is one 24 hour period in 365 days. On this day people are programmed to stuff themselves silly, get boozed up to the eyeballs, collapse in front of the tele, fall asleep, get up, stuff themselves even more, then puke it all up. All good fun, eh! Oh, and that isn't all, they spend the next few months trying to get rid of the weight they put on, because they forgot that their eyes are bigger than their bellies, and their gobs are bigger than their bum holes.
Well that's very good of you to explain all that Nellie. I think I'm going to drop out of this Christmas lark, not going to send any cards, not going to buy any presents, and definitely not going to elbow my way through the crowds at Tesco and queue at the checkouts. Folks must be mad running around like headless chickens, all for one chuffin day.
I quite agree MQ. Why put yourself through all that stress, folks must be bonkers. Me? I'm going to bugger off out the way, got myself booked on a cruise for six weeks, I'll be back when it's all over, ha ha.
Oooh Nellie, you are a one, you crack me up. Good idea though, can you fit me in your suitcase?
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