Tuesday, 17 April 2018

It's just common sense.

Hello and Good Morning. Someone mentioned that I have a lot of common sense. I sort of agree with that, but it got me thinking about where common sense comes from. I haven't always had it, I was a bit dim in my teenage years. I probably acquired some when I started to go to work, not a lot because I was always learning from my peers and accepted their instructions. Practical matters came easy, but anything that required extra input from the brain box department was a bit more difficult.

What does common sense mean anyway? Is it something to do with how the brain is wired up, or how many experiences a person has throughout their lives, is it hereditary, (it has just taken me four attempts to spell that), or is it something you just learn as you go along?

My mum was a practical woman so I picked up a lot from her. I started washing my own clothes from the age of eleven, I was particular about my clothes not getting crushed with everyone else's. I spent hours hand washing in the sink, so now I don't chuck them in the washer every time I take something off. They have to be dirty or smell before I wash them. They last longer because they have not been bashed about. Common sense. I helped her in the kitchen, learnt how to cook by watching her. Now I eat all the food I buy because I know how to cobble a meal together from whatever I have. Common sense.

It was common sense to me that I needed to go out to work to earn money so I could pay for things I need. Mum didn't have a bottomless purse and needed the few £'s I was able to contribute to the household budget. My 'bank of mum and dad', was totally empty. That is a common sense attitude which is sadly lacking in today's modern world.

In my work I was always changing jobs, because whenever I learnt something it became repetitive and boring. Common sense to move on to pastures new. Learn another job. I enjoyed lorry driving, different trucks, different loads, new places to drive to. If I had to go to the same place every day to work it would do my head in. Common sense to choose a job with lots of mental stimulation. I only started slowing down and reducing my hours when my age was against me for finding new and exciting work. I had to stick with what I had to pay the mortgage, but changing to part time made it easier.

My mum warned me about boys of a certain kind who would be keen to have their wicked way with me. Her mantra was, 'keep your hand on your halfpenny', which I did, until about a year after I left home. I was too frightened to take it away. There were many snogging sessions which fizzled out when disgruntled person finally got the message that it was 'top bit' only. Nowadays mum's go clubbing with their teenage daughters dolled up to the nines. Is that the new way of keeping tabs on them? No, the mum's are keen to flirt alongside their daughters. How times have changed.

When I got a steady boyfriend, my first proper boyfriend, I thought I could be pregnant, shock horror. Thankfully I wasn't. It was at that moment when I found a massive dose of common sense which came from deep within my head. I was never going to take that chance again, so off to the doctors for contraception. After many years on the pill, it was obvious to me that I was never going to have children, so common sense told me that I needed a more permanent way to stop the little tiddlers in their tracks. I was sterilized.

I suppose the more you see of life the more common sense you gain. It's about living and learning every step of the way. I see it as keeping an open mind about all kinds of possibilities. There is enough information out there to spell everything out, it's a matter of if you are willing to get out there and absorb everything which is on offer, and explore all opportunities.

I was young and scatty, now I am older and wiser. I went through the stages of being grateful if anyone asked me out on a date, then falling in love with totally unsuitable people, the heartache of breaking up, and the realization that I am just very fussy about my idea of a perfect partner. Now common sense prevails and I am happily free of all that angst, I love my single life.

When I have to make any decisions, I nearly always base them on common sense. I think about what I should do, or what I ought to do. I think about what I can do, and what I can't do. I know my strengths, and my limits. I think about what people want from me, and whether I am capable of delivering it. Based on the information available, I am able to say yes or no.

Oh, I have made a few bad choices in among a lot of good choices, but I take responsibility for that. I blame no one for my mistakes. I am not perfect, I have been a bitch, but with age I now have a sense of calm. If I was my own best friend I would like me.  Does that make sense to you? Well it does to me :o))

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

44 comments:

  1. I love this post. You don’t know how much you’ve influenced me over the years xoxox

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    1. For the better I hope. I haven't led you astray have I, ha ha.

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  2. Hi.
    This post makes total sense.
    Common sense is something you gain as you plod through life. It makes me cringe at some of my past antics ,however if id not made the mistakes id never had learned the lessons! If id known then what i know now' ...hyndsight is a wonderful thing lol. I love your life and your honest outlook to everything. X

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  3. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I enjoy reading them... as for common sense, I think that going through the "young and scatty" phase is the only way we learn!

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  4. As a young person I would say that I was very practical, commonsense I developed as I grew older and wiser.
    Lovely thoughtful post Ilona.

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  5. Hello. I have been reading your blog for quite a while now. When i first started reading i was slightly put off by what i perceived to be your attitude towards life in general "me me me". But i'll admit the more i read the more i rather admire you and that i was very rash to initially think that of you-i apologise. I dont normally write into to blogs, but i read a piece you wrote a while back about not getting married, you gave a list of reasons why and i think this really hit the nail on the head for me as i have no intention of ever getting married. I think you gave very sage advice and i would like to thank you.

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    1. Thank you for writing that. I'm glad I didn't put you off completely, and you are still here. This blog was always about my brilliant life on a pension so it was inevitable that I would speak about my life and how I found myself in this position. Where I came from, how I was brought up, my school and my jobs, and my personal life, have all molded me into the person I am today. If some of it strikes a chord and makes people evaluate their own lives to make changes for the better, then that's a job well done.

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  7. Great post, Ilona. I think that you do get more common sense as you get older. You also learn to trust your instincts and to ignore what other people say and do. You realise that your life is exactly that, YOURS, and that if you are not prepared to plough your own furrow you are only short-changing yourself.

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    1. Hi Tracy. Could you do me a big favour, I am trying to dump all anonymous comments, those who use this option are mostly spammers who spout rubbish. If you could please follow the instructions for putting your name in bold at the top of your comment, it would be ever so helpful. You will find 'How to', on the sidebar. Thanks.

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  8. I think that I have always been a practical person - learned early how to take care of a home and to cook - things like that. Common sense prevailed a bit too much I think in my teens through 40's. I had a lot of responsibilities and always erred on the side of caution. I lost my way a bit in my 50's when I became tired of always scrimping and always putting others first. I put myself first more often but made one bad mistake financially which is costing me now. Perhaps if I hadn't had so much common sense when I was younger then I wouldn't have felt the need to go a bit wild later in life. Maybe we need to grow into our own common sense..... You always have great, thought provoking posts Ilona - thank you.

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    1. Now that's an interesting concept, being level headed with common sense when you are younger, and going off the rails when you are older. You mentioned scrimping, I never thought of it like that, that word didn't come into my vocabulary until much later on.

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  9. I can't remember who it was who said 'youth is wasted on the young' but it's true. Life is all about learning and experiencing the highs and lows and coping with each episode as it arises. That's when you find out: what is important to you and who your true friends are. Common sense is a lesson sometimes taught by relatives and others but also gained by the individual's events in life.

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  10. i agree in principle. However I often hear people say something is common sense when it is just their opinion on something, and frequently something I don't agree with. I was told Brexit was commonsense, the death penalty was commonsense... you get the idea. personally I consider you a practical person with commonsense ( but then I agree with your views!!)
    Gillx

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    1. Those two issues you mention will never be common sense, they are much too complicated. Too many variables.

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  12. Amen, sister! Common sense trumps "formal education" any day. You can have a doctorate but unless you have the common sense to figure out what life hands you daily, you are just an educated fool. (I have a couple of these in my family.)

    Cate

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  13. Sandy in the USA17 April 2018 at 19:49

    Hi Ilona! Young and scatty? Yes, I've been there and done that. It's a shame that most of us have to learn our lessons at the School of Hard Knocks but that's where I learned ALL my life's lessons. Cost me a lot physically, emotionally and financially. I guess with age comes wisdom, hopefully. My family weren't too big on using their words to educate their children so we were clouted regularly along with my abusive british father's admonition that he was 'going to knock some sense in'. That isn't the way to teach children anything, other than fear and anxiety. It took us all a while to find our way in life but we did eventually. Absolutely no common sense when we were younger, too busy just surviving, but all mostly wised up now!

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    1. Hi Sandy. Thanks for your comment. I wondered if you could put your name in the 'Name' box before you hit the publish button. The instructions are on the sidebar. It helps me to sort them quicker. I have done it for you this time.

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    2. Sandy in the USA19 April 2018 at 02:32

      I had no idea I could do that but will do in future!

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  14. Great post. I agree about common sense and being practical. I learned so much by watching my mum, too. She was an excellent cook and homemaker.

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  15. Much as I enjoy your posts I can't agree with you on this one. I have just celebrated my Silver Wedding anniversary and love my hubby to bits. I would hate to live a life on my own. Last year he was very poorly in Intensive Care and I have never felt so alone in my life whilst he was in a coma for five days. I sat with him and talked to him as if he could hear me. Being alone isn't for everyone

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    1. It's ok to be a couple, but common sense tells me that one day two will become one, either when the marriage breaks up, or when one dies. Therefore I think it is preferable if both individuals retain some of their independence during the time they are together.

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    2. well said..and be a better couple by being more developed individually

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    3. I don't think Linda is saying that at all. Being married for 43 years, it's a partnership. And it's a lovely, fulfilling partnership. It doesn't mean our personalities have been repressed in any way. It's the opposite. Pat

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  17. Not everyone has a choice about being single. My husband left me ten years ago. Reading Ilona’s blog has helped me. Many people fall apart when they lose a partner (or can’t find one). It is O.K to live your own life, it is O.K to share it with someone. What I find sad are couples so close that when one dies, the other crumbles and goes quickly after them. Also young people so desperate to find a partner they end up having sex with many and end up being used, losing confidence and self esteem. Loneliness is not great, but there is a mindset to adopt that we are on the planet for a very short time, and to make the most of it, single or otherwise.

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    1. I agree, Elaine. As I replied above to Linda's comment.

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    3. I agree with both of you. I have been divorced for 45 years. Never remarried, raised my son. Retired from working at 62 and again at 77. At nearly 83 I am still living on my own, have lots of really good friends and a full life. I have a niece who has been with her husband for 45 years. She's 63. She has no girlfriends or activities and does nothing without him. He is not in the best of health and I worry about her. I can't even get her to meet me for lunch. I know other married women who love their husbands dearly, but have active lives of their own. And, no, I don't regret not remarrying. Shirley USA

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    4. Hi Shirley. Thanks for your comment. Could you please put your name in the 'Name' box so it comes up in bold at the top of your comment. Instructions on how to do that are on the side bar. Thanks. I have done it for you this time, but soon I won't be publishing any Anonymous comments.

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  18. I believe that common sense is part nature and part nurture, ie developed by example. Some are not born with inherited common sense nor do I believe that those people can learn it if completely devoid from the start. With age comes wisdom, we learn new things throughout our life, either consciously or unconsciously. We gain wisdom also from our experiences throughout life, hence "older and wiser". This is not to be confused with common sense. However old or wiser we become, we are never too old or wise to escape hindsight.
    Linda, I never planned either way to marry or not marry, I just fell in love, and after 41 years of marriage, I still love him. I am an educated woman with a mind of my own, and quite capable of being independent had I chosen to be. We are all different, and whilst some people may be happier alone when they are older, set in their ways and used to their independence, I question whether they felt his way in their youth.

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    1. Oops, even though I proof read I have missed one! Last line "they felt THIS way in their youth".

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  19. All good, and good "common sense". I read somewhere, that "sadly, common sense is not so "common", anymore. And, is often looked at with suspicion and as if the individual (with common sense) is somehow deficient and (sad to say) somewhat mentally lacking (that they don't want to get on with the latest etc...Very sad state of life today.

    ==your comment "mum's go clubbing with their teenage daughters dolled up to the nines. Is that the new way of keeping tabs on them? No, the mum's are keen to flirt alongside their daughters. How times have changed"..--- sadly I have seen this sort of thing, both in real life and in the news. I find it rather sad and disgusting. --- have read of both "moms and dads" doing this. If the adults in a child's/teen's life do this, just where is the child going to learn decency and practicality and so forth? Sad.

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  20. LOVED this post, Ilona! Oh, to have had your moxy at your young age, I am certain many hurtful mistakes could have been avoided. However, many of those mistakes forced this woman to CHANGE, and for the better. I adore your blog and your philosophy!!! Thanks for the smiles!

    Karla Kuriger, From Coal City, Illinois, USA!

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    1. Hi Karla. Thank you for your comment. Could you do me a big favour, I am trying to get rid of all Anonymous comments because so many of them are coming from spammers trying to infiltrate my blog. It would help me to sort them out more quickly if you put your name in the box labeled 'Name'. Instructions on the side bar. I have done it for you this time. Thanks.

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  21. Well Ive turned 63 today and Im still as loopy as what Ive always been,lol...Seriously though,I so agree that common sense comes as you age.I think more now before I do or say anything.Yes,Ive made a few mistakes over the years which I now regret...but that regret has made me into a better person to make sure I never make that mistake again!...I hope,lol.xx

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  22. Hi , I found your utube last nightthen I our blogg. I love all the creative things uou do. Now I'm working my way reading your blogg from way back when you started. It's a fab read. I dabble with art and crafts myself. I have a ho at making anything.so in love to read other crafters projects. Your blogg is so inspiring. It's so refreshing to see someone different that isn't spending a fortune on craft supplies. I much prefer the make do an mend approach. Talking on common sense made me laugh. I remember going out with a lad back in my teens and my mum had used same expression , hang on to your hapenny. I spent all evening wondering what she meant!! Doh. Seems like years ago mother's went round houses to say what they meant! I've been a bit more direct with my kids x xxx
    So this week's evenings I will be reading all uour back posts . Lovely to find you xxx and love so much of your work including the awesome summer house. I'm showing my husband as always looking for ideas to save money. Maybe me and he could attempt something like xxxxx

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    1. Thank you Bunty, and welcome to Tightwad Towers. I like to think of my blog as a magazine, varied topics, something to browse over a cuppa. Reading is free.

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  23. Whilst I've travelled along life's pathway I have noticed that sometimes those who are .. . shall we say... born or find themselves in a privileged life style,are the best educated and have not had to do too much on their pathway through life are often the ones with least common sense. The strange thing about this is that don't even realise it and rely very heavily on others who have buckets of it. What ever would they do with out us ? A very honest post Ilona.

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    1. Rae....in addition to those you mention, there is also a slightly different group, who seem to (from the start) get through life / get ahead / get benefits/ by convincing themselves/others they are "owed" things/help. Most often these too do "get ahead" at the expense of "sucking" help/money/time out of others, but honestly they seldom seem happy. Not at all.

      I love reading this blog because I constantly am exposed/learn new ideas/ways to make do/get on, and Iona generously shares info/tips/techniques and is so very cheerful and practical.

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    2. Suzy...Yes of course you are correctthe a different group. I can think of a few of those you mention who have crossed my path at some point or another. I think most of us have probably worked with at least one who has gotten ahead in the way you describe and left some of us wondering how or why. Happy they are not.

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  24. Hi~
    I don't comment often, but I do enjoy your blog. This post was very well said. I bemoan how common sense has just flown away from the world, it seems. Thank you for writing and not censoring yourself, it is refreshing.

    Darlene

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