I copy here a comment from Hilde, which came in yesterday. It's worthy of a post of it's own. The last sentence struck a chord.
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We have a proverb that says "When a cat has kittens in a stable it doesn´t make them horses". A lot of immigrants say they are proud of their roots and want to give their traditions on to their children. And these tradition often clashes with the way of life in Europe. There is so much talk about integration. In my opinion, You don´t get integrated, you have to integrate yourself.
Hilde in Germany
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My mother came to the UK after the war. She met my English dad in Hamburg, he was a soldier in the army. I remember spending hours with her in the kitchen as she got on with the household chores. She taught me some German words, which I learnt parrot fashion.
Much later on, when I eventually met my German brother, he was able to fill me in with what he remembers about his mother. When he eventually found us, letters started going backwards and forwards between mother and son, written in German.
When I eventually got to meet my brother, after our mother had passed away, he was able to fill me in with what he remembered about his younger years, and how he kept in touch with his mother much later on through letters. It filled in the missing pieces of the jigsaw for me. Ingo learnt English at school. I never fully learnt German.
So, my mother came to the UK not knowing hardly any English. I was always amused by her German accent. Father had learnt some German while stationed in Hamburg, so they were able to communicate.
I so wished that mother had spoken to us three kids, in German, in the house. We could have grown up bi lingual. I often wondered why she did not see this opportunity.
I know that there is not a lot of difference between an English life and a German life, but after the war my mother was forcibly made to integrate with her new English family. Life must have been pretty hard for her.
I also found out from my brother, that my father told her she is in England now, and she has to speak English. Basically asking her to ignore her German roots.
My point being as Hilde says, 'you have to integrate yourselves'. Mother had no choice. She was penniless with nowhere to live. I will be eternally grateful to her for making the effort and sticking it out.
Integration is not a God given right. Anyone coming here has a choice. They either embrace the new life, or they bring animosity and resentment with them. Without proper immigration procedures in place we have no idea how their lives will pan out.
Thank you Hilde. Have a good day. Toodle pip. ilona
I was brought up with a French grandmother and my father. Grandmother and her husband emigrated here after the first World War and he owned several shops and a tailoring business. Grandfather died before I was born so I didn't meet him. Grandmother was proud to be a British subject and spoke only in English to me. We ate all English food nothing French. Sad as I could have grown up bilingual like my father. It did teach me how to rephrase questions though if she didn't understand what I wanted.
ReplyDeleteI remember correcting my mother when she mis pronounced a word. I suppose the best way to learn a new language is to be continually exposed to those who speak it. I don't know if foreign languages are still included in the national curriculum, but they should be. I have a cousin who spent a year in Russia. She speaks that language fluently now.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment pops up from time to time. It is not worthy of my attention and I usually delete it. However on this occasion I will publish it. I suspect it is sent from the other side of the world, USA possibly, or could be anywhere, as it arrives during the night here. I also suspect it is generated automatically by AI. Or it could be from a human who is paid by Big Tech, to disrupt as many free thinkers as they can. Whatever.
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DeleteGrowing up in 1970s Canada, it was very common for my peers at school to not speak their mother tongue. Their parents wanted them to be Canadian. Very often the women spoke very little or very basic English. The children retained their language for use at home but not out and about.
ReplyDeleteI knew Canadians of Japanese heritage who spoke no Japanese. Their parents had been interned during the War and thought of themselves as Canadian before Japanese. They did not want their children to endure the suspicion they did.
Thank you for your story. There is certainly an advantage to learn a second language.
DeleteReading this made me sad that your mother was forcibly made to integrate.
ReplyDeleteIts sounds like she didn’t have a choice and it was sad that she was unable to pass onto you, her German language. It must have been sad for her too leaving a son behind in Germany.
My mother lost her home during the war. She was a divorced woman with one child, on the streets. She met a young English soldier. We all have choices in life, and need to take responsibility for them. Yes, it's a sad story, but if she had stayed I wouldn't be here.
DeleteI went to school with a girl called Ilona whose parents came to England after the war. I loved visiting them and listening to the bi-lingual conversations. They spoke fluent English and also spoke German to their children. Consequently Ilona became fluent in both English and German.
ReplyDeleteMixing different languages is amusing. To be able to switch from one to the other is very clever. I particularly like listening to the Russian language.
DeleteMy grown up daughters are Anglo Persian. No hate please. They switch between languages and sometimes in the middle of a sentence. I'm a fluent Farsi speaker not native with a degree in Modern European languages. My girls studied French and German and one is learning Russian. Language learning is very much alive.. A
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