Saturday, 15 May 2010

And now....for the monkeys

Time to dig my posh frock out of the wardrobe, I've just received my invitation to the National Association of Ladies Circles Summer Rally. Whoopeeee :o)

Of course I knew it was coming, I agreed to attend this event several months ago, as the guest speaker. Just imagine, ladies from all over the country gathered together at a posh hotel, and they will all be listening to me. Wow!

The accompanying letter describes me as 'The Queen of Mean', who will entertain with tales of her penny pinching lifestyle. Ha ha, I hope they are ready for this, because I enjoy seeing the look on peoples faces when I tell it like it is.

After talking about managing on very little money, it would be innapropriate to take the fee for this engagement, I will be getting a free meal, that will be enough reward. I am at the point in my life when I have everything I need. I have no desire to accumulate more money, so I am happy to donate it to Monkey World in Dorset. They do such good work with rescuing monkeys and apes from all around the world.

Which brings me to next week. I will be able to present them with a cheque in advance of the talk, when I visit Monkey World on Wednesday. It is time for my big adventure, so I will be away for a while. If I find a library with computers I will pop in to say hi. I will miss you all, but I will be writing a diary and taking lots of photo's so I can write it all up when I return.

These are the places I plan to visit.
Salisbury, Poole, Sandbanks, Bownsea Island, Swanage, Corfe Castle, West Lulworth, Monkey World, Portland Bill, Abbotsbury Swannery, Donkey Sanctuary, Salcombe, Burgh Island, Polperro, Liskeard, Fowey, Perranporth, Hayle, Landsend, Scilly Isles, Minack Theatre, St Michaels Mount, Lizard Point, Falmouth, Boswinger and area, then home.

Don't know if I will manage all that but I'm gonna try. Catch you tomorrow, one more post before I go.


  1. If I can hazard a little suggestion Ilona, perhaps as it's a posh hotel you might refrain from giving them details of how many sheets of loo paper you use for each operation. Things can be taken too far :O))

  2. Where on the Scilly Isles are you heading? I heard that the sub-tropical gardens of Tresco are a must for visitors. That`s one place I would want to see.

  3. Wow, that`s quite a trip, Ilona - hope you have a brilliant time. Also, it would be great to hear you speak, sometime - after watching you on channel 4OD, you`re quite a celebrity.

  4. I'd better not have a drink then, Jane, it loosens the tongue somewhat, ha ha.

    Sarina, I'm staying at St Mary's, but I will island hop and probably go to Tresco, depends how the boats are running, or sailing.

    Lynn, I can assure you when I am speaking at a 'do', I don't look anything like I did on the tele. I can look half respectable when I try :-) Maybe I ought to get someone to film me then I could post it on here. Now that's a thought.

  5. Have a lovely time Ilona, you deserve it! I remember seeing you on the telly and thought that some things you done were a bit extreme for me. BUT: you are doing things to suit your lifestyle, you are not hurting anybody, only trying to keep the wolf from the door. A while after, I started reading your blog, which I read every night. I enjoy hearing about what you have been up to.

    Going by what you write, I don't think you are the queen of mean, I think you are lovely, you do lots for your community, with the scrapstore and picking litter etc, and also donating to animal charities. You are really the queen of kind methinks :), you should've told the cameras that when you were on the telly. This has turned into a novel, sorry about that. x

  6. Hi Ilona, I hope you have a lovely time on your holiday. Wehre you are visiting is my favourite part of the country that I have seen so far. As I originally come from Hampshire and Dorset is only across the border I visited Warehamm, Swanage and my absolutely favourite place Corfe Castle on numerous occasions. If the weather is good and you have the time, climb to the top of Corfe, the view are amazing...I love this place, right down to the village and cute little shops at the bottom of the hill. I hope the sun shines for you, the beaches are pretty spectacular too, all sand :o) If you are feeling bracve and fancy a bit of 'back to nature' nudist skinny dipping...head for Studland. I must point out here though that I don't do nude sunbathing but this beach is fantastic with sand dunes and clear blue mediteranean tryp seas. The road that leads to it is opposite Corfe Castle and at the end of the road when you get to the beach is the chain ferry across to Sandbanks. Have fun, can't wait to see your diary on your return with all these old favourites of mine. I love to visit Dorset.

  7. Enjoy your holiday and, as always, I'm looking forward to the photos :o)

    If you could get someone to film you giving your talk it would be brilliant! lol! How exciting to give a talk to a group of ladies from all over the country - and so lovely of you to donate the fee to Monkey World. You really are a lovely person, you know that?

    Take care and enjoy yourself - have fun! x

  8. Aahhhh, such nice comments, now I'm feeling slightly embarrassed (insert red faced smiley here). I am trying to make up for all the times when I was a horrible, stroppy teenager, and a pain in the bum. When I was mean, and selfish, and would fly off the handle at any little thing. I have mellowed a bit with age, now I want an easy simple life. If you are nice to people it comes back to you. Karma I think they call it.

  9. I hope you have / had a fab time. Dorset is my home county and I'm in Devon now so I grew up around the purbecks / corfe / wareham etc. Over that way Worth Matravers has walks down to the SW Coast path and some truly fab views. Treat yourself to a pasty and a pint in the local 'The Square and Compass' after and check out their local history museum full of fossils etc. It's my favourite pub but duck on the way in, it's an old building and I reckon the people were smaller then! :-D

  10. I really enjoy reading your blog and am delighted that you are donating to Monkey World, they are such a great organisation. Have a good holiday/