Friday, 15 October 2010

Running away or facing up to your responsibilities!

I am feeling very unsettled at the moment, my emotions are up and down, I feel anxious, and I feel I am losing control. Why? These two little critters
.

I have spoke before about taking control of my life, making choices that have been important to me, and accepting full responsibility for my actions. But then something happens which screws everything up.

I have plans to go out, see places, be free to go where I want, whenever I want. I want to take off at a minutes notice, on a whim, suddenly pack a bag and go. Because that's how I have been living my life for the past 30 odd years. Yes, I have gone to work and had a job to do, but once out on the road I am in my own little world. The great outdoors is a huge attraction for me, and only those who have lived like this, understand. I am not a home bird, never have been.

When I had my Bugsy 14 years ago, I was at a low ebb, a relationship had broken down and he came along and cheered me up. We rub along nicely together. Lilly joined us about three years ago, an elderly cat looking for a comfortable loving home, so all is fine, two oldies that are happy mooching around. I can have a long day out and they will look after themselves, or friends will come in and feed them if I go away.

This year has been a good year, I've been to lots of places, seen lots of interesting things, and sensed once again the freedom of the road. The feeling of movement, of going somewhere, of anticipation, of unpredictability, of planning an adventure, that is what I am all about.

But what do I do about the little pussies? At the moment they are sleeping in their little room. They seem happy, but they are becoming curious as to what lies beyond. Who are these other cats that come and look at them through the wire mesh barrier, where are they going, what is through the door, and why cant they go into the garden.

I am asking everyone I know, if they might know of some kind person to take them in. I thought they might have a better chance if they were in Sue's rescue pen, and also they would have a lot better view in her garden than in the little room here. Maybe it was a bit presumptious of me to expect her to take them in. It was me who decided they couldn't stay in a car, I chose to have them here.

They have been here for eleven days, perhaps I am panicking a bit too soon, but all I see is my freedom ebbing away. These little pussies have found a way into my heart, and I am torn. I have never been able to cope with emotional stuff, yet I sit here in tears. One half of me wants to run away, lock the house up and never come back, but the other half says face up to your responsibilities and take them in. Now you can see why I have never had children, I just couldn't cope.

12 comments:

  1. If you do decide to take them in, perhaps they will get along fine with your other cats and after a week or two they will settle in and you'll be able to leave them when you go out/away, as you do Bugsy and Lilly.

    There is still time for you to find a nice home for them. Is there any places you could put up a few posters or something, or an ad in the local paper perhaps?

    I hope they get sorted out soon.

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  2. I'm totally not a cat lover, but they are very sweet. Could you pop a card in your local shops or post office, Wanted a good home etc. Or some Freecycle websites do allow animals to be advertised. I'm not sure what sort of area you live in (town, rural etc) but we are surrounded by farms that all seem to have cats roaming around, any farmers in need of a couple of mousers???
    Twiggy x

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  3. What about the internet sites like vivastreet, I think there is one in the UK or maybe your free newspaper if it on internet and you can advertise free.
    Sue

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  4. Hi Ilona, I just felt this was going to happen, I know if it was me I would be feeling exactly as you are now. I am sure that once they settle in they will be no trouble, the neighbours will not mind feeding an extra 2 cats.
    I just feel for the cats being moved around just as they have got used to you.
    Good Luck with your decision.
    Briony

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  5. Hi Ilona, sorry that you are faced with such an emotional predicament. Personally, I agree totally with Crafty Cat Corner and hope that you will decide to keep them but the decision of course must be yours. Also you mention that your other two cats Bugsy and Lilly are elderly. I don't know how long cats live but sadly one day Bugsy and Lilly will pass away, and if you keep Tiger and Lily you will still have two furry friends. Keeping them also depends on how the older cats react to them.
    Not an easy decision. I pray for you to be strong, take your time and work out what is right for you.

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  6. mmm, difficult, maybe this is an obvious question but have you contacted your local Cats Protection yet? that's where we re-homed Millie from.
    Josie x

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  7. My sister in law works for the cat protection league and she has a little kennel in her garden specially for keeping 'emergencies', it's heated and really comfy for them and she spends a lot of time out there when it is occupied. Perhaps the league will have someone similar in your area who could help you... at this point you may have already made up your mind to keep them... what a dilemma... hope it all gets sorted out soon.

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  8. Electronic feeders, they will feed your kitties for up to 5 days. They aren't cheap but they are so worth the money. Then you can have your days away and not worry so much that the kitties are going hungry.

    Your two guests are adorable and I totally understand why they have captured your heart. I think it was tremendous that you were in a position to take them in, out of a cold car which wasn't suitable. You did a good thing.

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  9. These cats have come to you - that's how life works sometime. Not what you would have chosen but it will all work out in the end. If you send them to the Cat's Protection League it will just be somewhere else that is not a proper home. I have a feeling that they will become great company and once you make a decision you will feel much better. Good luck, whatever you decide.

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  10. Get in contact with your local radio station. They might give you a small slot to advertise your little lodgers. Best of luck!!

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  11. It's a tough dialemma Ilona,that's for sure, I don't envy you, but I'm sure a good home will come along.

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  12. Some great suggestions above Ilona♥ They are gorgeous cats no wonder your heart is torn:( Linda xx

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