We are going to walk up this path, and I don't want any paddling in the mud, have you got that. Alfie, you are not listening, face forward please. There will be no digging in rabbit holes, and if you do a poo please wait by it untill I come and pick it up. Don't just run away because then I won't be able to find it.
This morning we have a new friend joining us, welcome Henry, and don't sniff round Alfies behind too much, he doesn't like it, he can get a bit grouchy. If we are all ready we'll get off. There will be a break for treats in 20 minutes, and if I call you back I want you to return to my side immediately, not when you feel like it. Have you got that?
Oh God, doesn't he faff, it will be lunchtime before we get going on this walk. I'm getting fed up of waiting, yawn.
OK boss, I've got it, now can we go?
Ha ha, what a palaver. Last one into the ditch is a sissy!
Oh I give up, total hooligans, never do anything you tell them !