Thursday, 8 June 2017

The choice is yours

Hello. I have a feeling that there is something I have to do today. Ah yes, it's on my calendar, as if I needed reminding. I have to go to the Village Hall, get a slip of paper, take it to a booth and make my mark thus X in the box of my choice. Simple.

I have come to my decision, I have listened, I have watched, I have read, it hasn't been easy. Going round in circles comes to mind, in one ear and out the other also comes to mind. I have used my brain to the best of my ability and processed all the information offered. The conclusions I draw are that yes, every vote counts, everyone should exercise their democratic right, but when the circus leaves town, what then? We all have to get on with our lives the best we can.

I used to be a worrier, it's normal to worry about the future when you are young. But as I get older I find I worry less. There's no point in worrying about things I cannot change. Will my cross make a difference, probably not, but at least I've made my choice. What happens after is out of my hands, I shall carry on as always.

I found a reference in a book I am reading at the moment, which prompted me to google a name. Dorothy Rowe is a psychologist who has changed how we understand ourselves. That's what it says on her website. This page seems particularly appropriate in today's political turmoil. How to Deal with a Crisis. The article sheds some light on how we can deal with things which are beyond our control. She says we have three choices. We can pretend it isn't happening, we can become very frightened, or we can become very angry. If you are experiencing mixed emotions about the outcome of the general election, you might want to have a look at this. 

Are you going to stop reading or listening to the news and ignore everything that is happening around you? Are you going to become so scared that you retreat into your own little bubble? Or are you going to scream and shout and stamp about because your team didn't win? The choice is yours.

Time for breakfast. Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip.

34 comments:

  1. I will be voting in the next half hour, if you don't bother to vote then you shouldn't go on to moan about the results. Like you I do not worry about things that I cannot change, I do change myself as and how I need to. I now eat vegan most of the time, I like it and have lots of fun finding ways to make my yellow sticker finds so much more tasty. I get as much pleasure from that as I do my sewing and knitting. Whatever the outcome I shall keep on carrying on with my fun life.

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    1. Spot on Pam, it's all in the mind.

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  2. Circus, indeed. Politics and politicians are the source of all evil.
    As for democratic, what exacly does that mean? In the USA, a president was chosen by democratic elections, and yet those that haven't voted for him, are unwilling to accept the result. They blame the...russians. What a terrible joke! It reminds me of those women who wish to loose weight; so they blame age, thyroid, menopause, genetics - while eating nuts,chocolate, cakes, butter etc...Ha, ha!

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    1. Hi. It's a fact, people seem to want to blame everyone else. The two biggest parties blamed each other for past cock ups, a lot of mud slinging goes on. It's always someone else's fault

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    2. Duta, I am offended by your reference to people with thyroid conditions blaming weight gain on their thyroid. My dear you have no idea what people with thyroid conditions go through and I suggest you put more thought into what you say. I have some choice words for you but will not lower myself to that level. Jane

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    3. Jane - you can either spend your time being offended by the odd spontaneous comment, or just realise that most people are decent and mean well. It's quite clear to see the basis of what DUTA is saying, and she is right.

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    4. Although I suffer from thyroid problems, (one of many conditions), I wasn't going to respond to Duta, but I would like to second what Jane says. It is unbelievable the long list of what hyper-thyroidism and hypo-thyroidism affects healthwise.

      Joan (Wales)

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    5. Doctor thought once I may have an overactive thyroid.I'm not sure if it's advisable but I decided to take a kelp tablet each day.I think I read somewhere it can help regulate it in some cases x

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    6. Jane, Joan - I sincerely apologize to you and to anyone else that might feel hurt by my comment. Believe me, no offence intended.

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    7. Thank you for your apology Duta. Please take the time to read about thyroid disorders and how they affect sufferers. We truly are sufferers who struggle with our invisible illness to lead normal lives. We suffer, our families suffer and our friends and colleagues suffer. We can be 'obese', 'anorexic', 'anxious', 'depressed' and just plain odd. I have thryroid condition called Graves. In the mids of Graves I weighed 45kg; my eyes bulged; I had the shakes; I was anxious, irritable and impulsive; my heart raced (pulse of 140); regular panic attacks; no energy or muscle strength; house was a mess; and the list can go on. Some comments I received from people included: "do you have a drinking problem?"; "Pull your socks up and get on with it"; and "at least its clean today" (referring to the state of my house). All said to my face. And much more behind my back I am sure. My thryroid levels were finally brought under control (after reaching point of toxic shock) and the thyroid was removed. I now depend on medications to keep me ticking. The medication doesn't work well or like it should. I struggle with weight, energy, cold, and host of other things. So, you see Duta, your casual comment was a kick in the gut people like me shouldn't have to endure. I hope you understand my speaking up to your comment is self-preservation and way of saying enough of this labelling. We thyroid sufferers don't deserve negative comments about us and our condition. Kind regards Jane

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  3. I think I worry less as I get old, I hit 50 next year. Jon and I have plans we will put in place for the boys when they are older so they don't have to worry too much, like making sure they can look after their own cars, cook basic stuff and our biggest plan is to buy a property to develop for each of them so that can live there or rent it out to make an income for themselves. We are trying to be as self-reliant and self-sufficient, run out business eventually so we only have to deal with government based *hit in the smallest possible terms.

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    1. Keep checking that plan, Louise. Weekly meetings around the table for the whole family.

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  4. I've not followed much of it this time, I have already voted as I do postal voting, and I knew from the start who I'd be voting for. I find I do worry a lot about what's going on, the terrorism, NHS, etc etc. Whoever wins, I will accept it and just carry though. My main worry is that the rates could go up again, I had £8 a month stuck on mine last year, I know it's not that much but it's money I have to find from somewhere and means cutting back on something else. I get so angry when they talk about all retired people having final salary pensions, that is not the reality for me and many more that I know.

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    1. Hi Kate. By rates do you mean Council Tax? Have you checked that you are in the correct band? I think living on the south coast is more expensive than living up north. My CT went up by a very small amount, I can cope with that. When assessing it they took into consideration all my circumstances, I had to produce my bank statements so they could see how much money I had coming in. I have no savings so they took that into consideration.

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    2. Hi Ilona, yes I meant council tax. You're right, the south coast is a very expensive area to live now. In my area there is a huge population of older people who need social care, and also much of the council tax goes towards the policing of the town at night. Lots of nightclubs/hen nights/drinking/fighs/mess to be cleared up etc. In fairness they did keep the CT at more or less the same level for a few years but then it shot up overnight. I get frustrated when I am trying v hard to stay on budget but then stuff that's out of my control happens. Not in any way meant as a criticism of those needing social care though, I could well be one of them eventually!

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    3. Ps yes I have checked my band, but thanks anyway for the tip!x

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  5. I think there is a 4th choice. We CAN listen and try to understand without getting frightened or angry -as neither of those reactions do any good- and then we can carry on doing our best for the people we love, the place we live in without causing hurt to anyone.

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    1. Hi Sue, It's funny you should say that, I almost mentioned it in my post. I couldn't see where I fitted into the other three, I overlap all of them. I do try and glean as much information as I can, then mull it over, and file it for future reference. We can only do our best with what we have to hand.

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    2. Totally agree; I try to listen but it is definately difficult when the politicians seem to waffle a lot without laying out the truth plain & clearly.

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    3. There is a fourth choice it's called acceptance. You see the problem is bigger than yourself. You examine how it will affect you. You examine what you can do to mediate the consequences. You implement a plan of action. Then you move forward mentally and physically. Anger, fear and denial don't solve problems in, of and by themselves; they are a vicious circle. Being calm and rational will get you the best solutions, quickly. Plus your blood pressure doesn't go up as far!

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  6. we postal vote as well so they were in at the beginning of the week. I must say that I really don't think that I fully trust any politician though so it was making a choice of the best of a bunch of people who stand . Are they there with their own selfish agenda or are they trying to do the best for the people?

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    1. Difficult to tell, Brenda. I think on the whole most of them are trying to make the country a better place, but some of them don't have the right ideas on how to do that. What bugs me at times is that they have lost touch with the real world. They need to get out of their big houses and fancy apartments and go and live in the run down inner city areas. They need to see the bigger picture.

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  7. I have just voted as I agree that if you don't you have no cause for complaint in the future. Unfortunately no politician actually
    inspires me which is a great shame. SueM

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  8. I have said this before but, it is worth repeating, I always say to especially women 'go out and vote - remember the Suffragettes who struggled to give you the right'. As usual, the main parties are getting personal and offensive, I can't agree with one party on all their policies so it's the 'best of the bunch' scenario for me. It is an important one today choosing which party will lead us through the Brexit negotiations in the next 2 years and get us out of the EU with a good deal. However, some people I've spoken to said, correctly, this is the third time they've voted in the past year (EU referendum, local elections and now general election) and they're a bit tired of it all. I've voted today and what will be will be. Life will go on and we'll have to make the best of it. I've listened to and watched many of the debates, some of it has been extremely serious but parts have been cringe-worthy with certain individuals totally out of their depth. Just my opinion. Amanda

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  9. Well I sent my vote of a few weeks ago but how do I know it got where it should do. Still at least I voted mainly because A lot of women suffered trying to get us the vote. I am not political minded because they do want they want once they are in control.
    Hazel c uk

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  10. I did go to vote.I'm not really happy with any of the choices though.I would vote for you Ilona-I could trust you.You talk since.I voted at the bowling club.I stopped near the door to smell deeply the rose in a bed-beautiful.Lidl,donut peaches on offer and then walk the dogs-honeysuckle is out.I'm a terrible worrier.I try to ignore my thoughts and breathe deeply or focus on stretching yoga pose and even stand on one leg to balance.Walking is great-I forget a lot of the worries.If someone is behaving badly I think to myself -''I'm not joining in your circus''.I have had lots of reiki to help with worrying.Now I just like to look on the bright side if it's not serious.Singing in the rain song-to myself is silly but it helps.There is a saying-Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass-it's about learning to dance in the rain x(thanks for a very thought provoking post Ilona-my vote is for you) x

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  11. It has been a difficult few weeks leading up to the election....all the opinions chewed over, over and over with no getting away from it. Then to top it off we were targeted by the terrorists, very sad and depressing so I for one am glad tomorrow will be a new day. As Amanda says hopefully it will be the best of the bunch. Rae x

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  12. I admire the Zen-like attitude adopted by Ilona and so many of her readers. I admit I worry about politics to the extent that it's almost pathological. I think we are at a major fork in the road and I don't believe our governing class - of all political hues - is up to guiding us onwards. This election campaign has been the most despicable in living memory, with so many falsehoods presented as fact and mudslinging worthy of the playground.

    I am actually a card-carrying member of a political party but I didn't vote for that party today. But for my respect for the efforts of the Pankhursts, Ms Fawcett et al, I would have abstained from voting or spoiled my ballot.

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  13. i just feel that everyone is just having a go at the other this time round instead of all the good things that they will do, its been tiresome and worrisome and I have totally switched off from the whole palaver. I feel women fought for our right to vote and I do vote for the most part but I also think they fought for us to have the choice to vote or not, which is just as valid as who we vote for. I think as she is in and the cabinet is there etc that there will be less disruption for her to carry on than if corbin gets in and shuffles everything round again and gets rid of all the things that tory put in. I really don't know whether we are coming or going half the time. It affects me personally regarding the small business partner works for, the job market, our daily expenses, nhs, brexit, houses buying and selling, everything seems to be on hold waiting for the outcomes of the politics world. sometimes I feel that they are just big kids on a playground and not sure they have our best interests at heart at all. well ill get off my soap box now and try not to think about the outcome and what it might mean for us as a family. I'm also bothered by the American political agenda, having seen him on the apprentice I have no faith in him either. what a palaver, I wish it would all go away.

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  14. Like do many people I wish they kept to their manifestos and were credible. But it's just turned into a circus. I will vote but I gave little confidence in anyone.

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  15. I only became interested in politics when Gordon Brown was Prime Minister, for no other reason than I wanted him to get his come-uppance. (I do so hate that man. Yes, a strong word, but I couldn't help my feelings, as he sold our gold reserve and goodness knows what else.)
    I used to watch the Parliament channel every day and knew most of the MPs by name and constituency and I have my favourites, both Tory and Labour. Now, I feel safe with Theresa May as Prime Minister, as I feel she is reliable and sensible. I was disappointed when she called for a General Election because I knew there would be a lot of name-calling and back-biting, just what we get with every General Election and we had with the Referendum.
    I'm fed up with the whole circus, of the juvenile antics of some MPs, of the celebrity hangers-on who have to have their two-pennies worth and I don't really give a fig to what they think, just as they don't give a fig with what I think. I'm fed up of the bias of the BBC and their reporting. They used to be non-committal, now they are leaning at a certain angle.
    I want someone to transport me to a desert island please, the sooner the better. Thank you.
    I really don't care if anyone agrees with me or not, it is just how I feel.

    Joan (Wales)

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  16. For the first time since I have been able to vote, I have abstained this general election. I do feel that as a woman especially, I should have, but I just don't trust any politician or their policies. At the last general election I voted for a party who ultimately put my job within the NHS at risk, I waited patiently for almost a year while they decided that I was one of the fortunate ones to stay employed - my stress levels could have gone through the roof and made me very ill if I had spent all that time worrying. I may feel very differently next time round, but until then I won't be complaining, just getting on with my lot and enjoying my life to the full

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  17. In Germany, we have a different voting system, so we don´t have one winner and one loser, but all votes are counting. This makes it easier to decide for whom to vote, even for a small party which has no chance to win but could have at least some MPs.
    I think the UK is in a very difficult situation right now, I would not know how to vote. I really hope everything will turn out well. But I am sad that you are leaving the European Union. I think the UK is very much an important part of it.

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  18. There was a clear choice in my opinion between the main two political parties this time round as we have Corbyn with a fully costed manifesto benefiting the many not the few and May with continuing austerity taking from the poor while giving tax breaks to the big corporations. I follow politics on Facebook lots of people follow their party and share find out and out what is happening in politics through social media as you don't always get an unbiased news on main stream media. The choice was to rebalance the unfairness in society sharing wealth with the 95% who have been made to suffer under the Tories by taxing the top 5% who can and should pay their fair share plus the big corporations or continue with austerity. I believe Corbyn is a decent politician who went out and campaigned thousands turn up at his rallies and harnessed a ground swell of young voters and others who came into politics and voted for the first time because of Corbyn who cares about people and has people's best interests at heart. He got huge support even though the right wing press owned by tax avoiding billionaires did not want Corbyn to win and did their best to smear him, as they would have to pay their fair share in taxes, or the bias main stream media the Tories mouth piece. I hope Corbyn gets a second chance if there is another election as do the millions who joined the Labour Party because of him and his honest polices. Not forgetting May wants to privatise our NHS. Teresa.

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