Friday, 15 February 2019

Stepping back from MSE Forum

For over ten years I have been commenting on the Money Saving Expert forum, sharing what money saving knowledge I have in the hope that it might be helpful to those who are not so savvy. It's a very big forum with lots of subjects, and very busy. A bit of everything for everyone to join in with.

I visit the forum almost every day, and it has taught me a lot about life in general, about money, housing, holidays, relationships, health, debt busting, and there are places to go for a bit of chat.

I am logged in permanently on my two computers, so I never have to remember passwords, except once a year when I get a page asking me to log in just the once. I usually manage this after searching my notebooks for the magic code. This time however, it happened a few days ago, no matter what combination I entered in the boxes, it would not let me in.

I clicked on 'Forgotten password?' to get it sent by email. It arrived, I tried that, with the three email addresses, still no joy. So now I am losing the will to live. Do I really want to spend hours reading about other people's woes, participating in idle chatter, and shaking my head in amazement when someone admits to being totally out of control with their finances.

I have tried to put people on the straight and narrow, taking control of their money instead of letting their money control them, and advising of the next steps to take. It's like pissing in the sea.

Credit is the way everyone is going, but I am of the old school, saving up until I can afford something. I am out of touch with reality, so I have been told. It's all electronic now, and I still pay cash for a lot of things.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to step away from the forum for a while. The sun is shining and I should be outside. I won't bother to reset my log in details and password until the end of the summer. They can manage without me, I have my own life to live.
ilona

38 comments:

  1. Totally think that’s a brilliant idea sometimes it’s good to just break habits , so many bloggers have just disapeared from bloggerland for whatever reason, trolls, abusive comments or purely personal reason but taking a break from internet life can be good.
    Your blog is one of the very few I follow but I understand the need to pull back and have more YOU time.
    I cut back my online life last year and it was like giving up drugs I just felt that my time had been spent tapping the damn keyboard all day.
    So now I set the egg timer to 30 mins, have unsubscribed from loads of places and got my life back from internet land.
    Please keep up you blog on hear I love your day to day comments.
    Enjoy your free time and fly internet free for some of the day/week/month and beyond.0

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  2. I expect that you have helped many people Ilona, those who are willing to learn.
    For some people it is just a spectator sport, watching good ways then carrying on with mindless spending and debt. It is like modern cookery programmes, where people will admire the celebrity chef, and go away and bung another synthetic meal in the microwave.
    Enjoy a break.
    By the way, your walking challenge inspired us to get the cheapest Fitbits in the sale, and to do 10K steps a day. I have done just over 160 miles in January. Thank you,
    NellieGrace

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    1. Good idea to get the fitbits, now you have the means of monitoring your progress.

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  3. I will miss you Ilona, but I understand where you are coming from. Look forward to hearing from you after the summer.

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    1. I didn't realize that anybody followed my posts on MSE. I shall still be here.

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  4. Afternoon Ilona

    Good for you for 'stepping away' from the Money Saving Expert. I completely agree with you about cutting back on internet usage (apart from needing to look things up that you can't remember - but you could years ago! :-o ). Summer is on it's way (well, that's the rumour going round) and we should be outside as much as we can. Even if it's sitting outside knitting, sewing or reading a book.

    Have a good weekend.

    Carolx

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  5. Yes Ilona, this happened to me a few weeks ago, I had to create a new account, but the days are getting longer now so I too wont be spending much time on my laptop, the garden is calling me.

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  6. I have never been on the Money Saving Expert forum but I have seen blogs that are still trying to get you to spend money ....to save money! For instance,I could buy a dress for £20 that is normaly £50...so I save £30??..Where is that £30 then? All I would have done is spent £20 on something I dont need!!.I like the way your blog shows us all how to live every day life,still enjoying life and keeping healthy by doing so.And also by not wasting money so that we can save a bit too!.Since Christmas I have carried on the frugal way,like I have been doing for a few years now and Ive just booked a 4 day break in Brighton in March,using a small amount from what I have saved! I love your post and you just keep on being you!.Like you say,you can give advice but I know what you mean when you say ...pissing in the sea,lol.My Dad used to say that you can take a hoss to water but you cant mek him drink it.It will be their loss on the Money Expert forum.xx

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  7. .I don't read MSE Forum but I would certainly miss reading your posts Ilona.
    It's been a lovely day here in Stewkley and I had a walk there is so many spring flowers out,

    Hazel c uk

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  8. There is no helping some people. I have tried with a friend over the years to no avail. She could gave been retired and mortgage free by now.

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  9. Hi Ilona. I'm old school as well. You save until you can afford it.
    I use cash as well. At least that way you know what you have to spend.I have learned a lot from you, I don't need to go money saving forums. Keep up your good advice. You are an inspiration. Xx

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  10. Gave up with it years ago. I enjoyed visiting in the beginning and I too would try and help and I have had help with certain areas in my own life. Then as it became increasingly popular, good people would go and the trolls, keyboard warriors and general oddbods would stay.

    I really didn't find it a friendly forum anymore so I just left and never think to go back. I can't say I have missed it. In fact forums, generally speaking, because of human nature are largely dyfunctional places to hangout. Either arguing and bickering, or its the blind leading the blind, or it is so overly moderated that you literally can't say a thing without offending someone or breaking the rules. Haha. I think actually meeting and conversing with people is better. Best wishes.x

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    1. Same here, Deborah w. I gave it up the day I realised that it was actually making me miserable reading all the nastiness. Life is just too short!

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  11. Fair enough Ilona. But I hope you will keep on with your blog from time to time. I have been really inspired by your Joie de Vivre and good sense.

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  12. I had to chuckle at ‘ pissing in the sea ‘ :-) xx

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    1. It's a version of what my mum used to say. Every little helps says the old lady who peed in the sea.

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    2. Here in Leicester,when we feel something is a waste of time we say,Its like pissing in wind!,xx

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  13. I understand exactly! With my interest in living below my means, I once applied for a job with a credit counseling service here in the US...once I started thinking about who I would talk to all days, folks with debt completely out of control, and the main goal of the service was debt consolidation, I decided that I would be wasting my time. The solution is to spend less, not look for a quick fix to get more credit....sigh. I also think I reached my limit of trying to help folks that really didn’t want to change or learn. Good for you to reclaim your time!

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  14. You helped me years ago along with Tania Retiree wanabee. Now mortgage free 1.5 years ago. squirelling the pennies under a year until retirement at 55 and goal to live half the year in Greece is becoming reality. No i,m not rich a nurse but frugality and examining where every penny goes has made my dream almost a reality. Has not been easy lodger, charity shop clothes lots of yellow sticker food. A huge learning curve!. Thank you Ilona and Tania. Cant comment on Tanias blog as have no google account. Some people do listen Ilona!. I did. For that iyhank you!.x Kirrie x

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    1. Your plan sounds fantastic, and with your dedication it can become a reality. Well done.

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  15. Hi Ilona
    I want to say thank you for your blog and to tell you how much I appreciate the time you take to write it and all the videos you bother to make. Let me say again you are an inspiration to me and I thank you from my heart. I came to live in my new place last November and was depressed by having to live on such a small budget to be honest with you I didn't think I could do it.Yes I can because I know I am not alone you and many other people are with me. Can't afford to pay for swimming anymore so the new swimming is walking which is free how amazing is that. A friend came today to help me get rid of a single bed which I couldn't remove. To cut a long story short a neighbour came for the wood from the bed and I kept all the material as it will come in handy when I start gardening and growing some food.Due to you and your excellent advice I am determined to embrace the new challenge of my small income and see how free I am free from the constant worry about money.
    I did two hours of gardening yesterday and felt great after it even with a few aches and pains.
    I want to say again thank you for my new mind set and and your constant encouragment I am utterly grateful that you give your time so freely and unselfishly. I look at all things now that I would have previously discarded and think right how can I reuse you!

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    1. Your comment has made me feel all warm and fuzzy. There is absolutely nothing to worry about if you haven't got loads of money. As long as you have enough to keep a roof over your head, put food on the table, and pay your essential bills, that's the main thing.

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  16. I gave up on the MSE forum because it took me ages to try and find the topic I wanted, and I rarely did. I still consider myself a thrifty 'novice'and have been going down the 'thrifty-learning' path and changing my spending-lifestyle accordingly for past 4or5 years. I really enjoy the blogs I follow but cannot stand being bombarded by those who see us 'thrifty folk' as a means of making money for themselves through their online 'courses', most of which preach what used to be called common sense. Too easy to get sucked into the vortex. So I too have become much more selective in my internet usage and limit my online time so I can get out into the real world more. I actually physically close down & unplug my laptop when not in use so the temptation for a quick browse is not there all the time... a bit weak but it does break the browsing habit! (btw, I am not ashamed to confess that I also use cash sometimes!!)

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  17. You and me are old fashioned. I use cash too. I also save up for things that I need . Can't say that I actually want anything. I need less stuff anyway since moving into my " old folks " flat last year. Best thing I've done. (70 now.)

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  18. Computers are brilliant when they work but my rage level rapidly increases when the sites start being temperamental!
    I'm writing this in the hope that I can manage to post it. Google has been causing me great trouble lately and many of my comments on blogs have failed to post for no apparent reason.
    Enjoy your extra free time. Sue

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    1. I've just had an email from a reader who is also having difficulty commenting. I don't know what causes it. When I comment on other blogs I seem to get through ok.

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  19. I tried to help someone the other year, they were in a mess with credit cards, rent/ gas arrears etc anyway I recommended step change as they have helped us in the past but the first question my friend asked was " do I need to tell them about all the credit cards? " ...

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    1. Oh lordy!!! People want a quick easy solution, and there isn't one. I have told someone I know to get help from Stepchange, whether they will or not is a different matter.

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  20. Hello Ilona, I been on MSE for years that's how I discovered you and you made a lot of good sensible comments, I the discovered your blog. You gave me the idea of living off ys foods and cutting back on wants rather than needs. I did it for a year at reduced spending and I then had the confidence to walk away from a well paid job in the NHS at 60 take my pension and live within our means for the 6 years to DWP pension kicks in. I've got 2 more years to go come July. I've had 4 wonderful years of cheap holidays via the news papers, we've got 10 booked for this year all for a grand total of £597. I walked away from MSE about 2 years ago, I still have a look but don't post anymore. I do hope you don't stop blogging xx

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    1. That sounds like a real success story. Enjoy your holidays when you can.

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  21. Hi Ilona, I have been following your blog a while now and love to read it. I was thinking about you yesterday in Mr T's and wondering what time the Yellow Stickers went on. I find your creativity inspiring and your advice very sensible. I work on the drip drip method of giving advice sometimes. Sometimes the time isn't right to receive wise words but they still sometimes go in. You have no idea how many people you have helped so don't give up just yet. Youd od a great job. :D

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  22. I'm glad you are keeping your blog.. I have learned so much from you about being thifty and the English countryside up close and personal...

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  23. I know what you mean, my husband has a friend who is constantly moaning about having no money, meanwhile he calls in 4 coffee shops in one day for a large coffee and then out to lunch, five days a week...when we say eat at home, sell something he shrugs and says it's not worth it. He always says to us " How come you guys have so much money ?" Umm let me think..years of money saving tips and doing without trips to Costa Rico etc haha

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  24. I love reading your blog and I really appreciate the time and care you give us all with your wisdom. For me I need the no nonsense approach and you have giving me loads of tips over the years. I used to watch you in super scrimpers, watering down fruit juice was the start to my frugal journey. So thank you iona xx

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  25. Winter from Norfolk17 February 2019 at 20:50

    Probably a good thing to step away....after a while people tend to get to dogmati and are not prepared to engage in a dialogue or debates things

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  26. I love reading your blog and I feel like I am among friends. This is the only one I read frequently. I used to love Frugal Queen but bless her, she had such awful trolling when her life took an upturn. I was glad that she stepped away for her own sake. I think you are so sensible in your views and also hilarious at times too. I hope you stay with us as I personally love the conversations. xx

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