I've had two conversations along similar lines with two different friends recently. They have both decided not to send any more Christmas cards to people they haven't had contact with for years, and not to go round to their neighbours and put cards in letter boxes. They see them frequently anyway while out and about, so what's the point. Hoo-bluddy-ray, at last, I thought, some folks are getting it.
Friend (number one) was feeling terribly guilty about her decision, I wonder whether she is going to follow through with her plan. She is worried what people might think of her, what will they say about her when no card arrives. She admits to sending cards to people she has not seen for many years, even some from school days. WHAT! I said in amazement. Yes, 35 years of sending a card to someone she never sees. They were friends once when they were young, but haven't physically seen each other for many years.
I have a friend like that but we do see each other and ring each other up. We remember birthdays, having both reached 70 this year. We both know what we are up to by constant communications. But when someone has had no contact whatsoever except for the Christmas card, what's the point. Life moves on, we all go our different ways. It's called clinging to the past. At some point you need to let go.
This same friend (number one) is also wondering how to get out of an invitation which she receives every year from a woman who lives a few doors down the street. She is just someone she knows, but this woman makes crafts throughout the year, then has a three day open house pushing invites through people's doors asking them to come, but says they don't have to buy anything. My friend (number one) doesn't want to buy anything, but she feels the woman is stepping up the pressure at this time, when normally all they do is say hello in the street. Funny how people suddenly become your best friend when they want something. My friend (number one) asks me what she should do, because she doesn't want to go. I replied, don't go, simple as that.
You can't go through your life doing what other people expect of you. Don't fall for the guilt trips, the blackmail, don't be coerced into doing something you don't want to do.
Friend (number two) has a much more robust outlook on life. She swears that's it, no more Christmas cards except for family, it's a complete waste of time and money. And I believe her. I know her quite well, she is outspoken, is well able to stand up for herself, and is not afraid to say what she thinks.
I will ask them both later on, what kind of a Christmas did they have. Will be interesting.
Lousy day outside, more sewing I think. Need to go to Aldi, running out of things. Toodle pip. ilona
Entertaining this evening
5 hours ago