Friday, 17 May 2019

Life After Money, a change for the better.

I have just been talking to someone who is still working at his own business, his wife works in it as well, and he is past 70 years old. Although their business isn't going too well at the moment, he can't see a life beyond working because he says everything is expensive and he needs to keep working to fund their living. He likes golf, and power lifting at the gym, but can't see how he can afford that on a pension.

I tried to give him some hope, but to no avail, he said what will I do if I don't work. I think there are a lot of people who don't understand the concept of living within your means. He said if I go to the pub I can easily spend £80 while out drinking with mates. It's the social aspect of it which he wants to carry on with.

Everyone has to find their own way about what is important to them. Not to look for alternatives means you wear yourself into the ground, just trying to keep up. It will take more than a short conversation with me for him to find the answers he needs, but if he doesn't take a step back he will run out of time. It's a heavy burden to carry around with you when you feel you have to keep working. I guess I will have to keep on plugging the message, that there is Life After Money.
Toodlepip.  ilona

21 comments:

  1. I think it is a case of what you want to prioritise in life. I used to always want everything brand knew but now I seek clothes from charity shops. I will not be suckered in to pressure from the media/fashion labels etc telling me the clothes I MUST have! I also think twice about purchasing anything these days. I ask myself if I really need it and very often the answer is no. :)

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  2. £80 on a night with the boys!! Ye gods we can live for a month on that, more if we wanted to. At "our" age we should have everything that we need,and most of what we want, so expenditure should naturally shrink. You will have to carry on teaching and spreading the word Ilona, the trouble is that those who need to listen the most seem to have selective deafness.

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  3. I am with you on this one, Illona. I remember driving into Cambridge sitting in the queue and working out 10 hours a week were spent doing this. I was retired within 6 months years before I was scheduled too. I never missed the drive or the pace. I never feel the need to spend it like Beckham. My life is busy but on the whole lovely. I walk every day no need for the gym or golf and am vegetarian eating lovely food. I feel at peace with myself.

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  4. A fellow at my husband's work is 92 years old and still comes in 4 days a week to work as a handy man. They don't let him do work from ladders any more but he is a FANTASTIC welder! He doesn't do it for the money .. he does it for the company .. he is an amazingly healthy, happy man! Working because one has to and working because one loves to are two totally different things .. aren't they?

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    1. Hi Donna!,I agree that if that 92 year old guy,loves to still do what he is good at,then good for him.The company and friendship is brilliant for him and as you say he is doing it because he loves doing what he does....alot different to some of the cowboys you get these days!xx

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  5. That is a very sad story, but all too common. He could find plenty of things to do that are not expensive, like you do, but that would not be golf. He is being held back by his fear. Like you say, he could run out of time before he gets over his fear. It’s a shame.

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  6. That's really rather sad.

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  7. Bloomin eck! You're floggin a dead horse there Ilona. I have just paid my electric bill today. Money put in tin each week. I have £80 left over. There's the train fare to Hull this weekend for us both. Visiting relatives. Already paid at the Ibis for our room. Simple isn't it? Like you say , some folks refuse to see the light. Glad its not me. I have to have things straight. Haha.

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  8. Budget your money and time helps. I hope to cut back a day from work next year now house will be paid off this fall. I've got other things in mind. My husband is still working full time. Keep on helping people and eventually they'll figure it out how to cut back ....or not! ;-}

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  9. I remember you having a post like this a couple of years ago and if people wont take any advice or suggestions,then there is nothing that you can do.It is frustrating when people ask for advice but then discount everything that you suggest!.Every one makes their own path in this life,so if you muck up then take on board what helpful advice you can get.Sometimes,it means giving up things...then you replace it with something else more frugal.I have been through having money...years ago,lol..and now I am living a frugal life and so much more content.I wish him and his wife well...but hope that they take some of your advice and find other ways to enjoy life,xx

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  10. well I suppose it's not called 'the rat race' for nothing; until circumstances had me stopping working and having to cope with a significantly smaller income, I would never have thought that you could live (and enjoy life) without regular shopping trips, holidays abroad, takeaways, nights out. I miss some things but not many.

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  11. £80 spent in the pub? what I could do with that, lol
    Briony
    x

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  12. My brother spends £500 a month in the pub - so I do believe it. He also insists that he will work until he drops dead. He is withdrawing his pension (age 55) this year to go on cruises and some big ticket purchases. Unfortunately people don't just drop dead, its usually a slow decline and 'wind down'. I worry for him, how he will live in old age as he rents. He definitely doesn't listen to me though.

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    1. Sometimes you have to let those you love do their own thing. It's hard to watch a close relative destroy their life. My brother didn't get to old age, he had a life of over indulgence. He deserted his family, (us, two sisters), flashed his money about, spent it on booze, wrecked his body, and died at 59. There was nothing we could do.

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  13. Linda, Teignmouth, S.Devon17 May 2019 at 23:08

    When I retired nearly 3 years ago I was worried about how I would live on my pension. When I was working I lived for my two, sometimes three, holidays abroad every year and I thought I would be miserable without them. However, just at the time I retired I discovered your blog which gave me new hope and I realised I had the freedom to create an enjoyable new life within my means as every day is a holiday now.

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    1. Glad to hear it, Linda. I did not renew my passport when it ran out, there are so many places I want to see on this great island we live on. Enjoy your holiday.

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  14. Many people don't listen I was one of them! Before I was laid off from my job going on 2 years now i thought much the way other people do i would work til i was worn out aND to old to enjoy life...at first being laid off was great I drew unemployment and had a severance package that paid me more than if I was working.! I saved my severance pay in the bank and cut expenses as much as I could aND strenches my savings to cover expenses for 6 more months.. I had tried to find another job after unemployment ran out but then I found I didn't miss working like that and I wasn't interested in going back to that kind of schedule! My husband still works a regular job but I have found jobs doing house cleaning, yard work, errand running 3 afternoons a week for a few elderly clients (paid in cash) so much more rewarding! The other two days are mine to do with as I please...usually playing with the grandkids so much fun!...our expenses are much lower and we are both a lot happier with our lives with my forced retirement...I hope it all works out for the couple with the shop ...I will be praying that they see the light! thanks Ilona for your inspiring blog I always find gems of wisdom here! Love Gaila in the NW USA

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    1. Thank you for your story. I'm glad you have re designed your life according to your circumstances. A few tweaks here and there can be beneficial to everyone who has change forced upon them. I was unemployed for the last seven months of my working life, got a pittance from the benefits system, but looked on it as my new challenge, to survive the best way I could. I didn't feel deprived, I didn't miss out, because I had the benefit of more time to do as I pleased. I hope you have many more years enjoying your grandchildren.

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  15. I'll be close to 70 when I retire next year, but am focused on paying off bills so that I will have nothing hanging over my head. In the meantime I am thinking long and hard about how and where I want to live the rest of my life. Perhaps your acquaintance needs to map out what he wants to do as well. Could be he hasn't imagined any alternative to the present!

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  16. I think lifestyle depends on whether people want "to keep up with the Joneses" and a lot of people cannot change because of this. I have never thought like that and have found retirement wonderful, so much happier than when I worked fulltime although I did like working but it was often the people that made working more difficult, some were lovely and some not so lovely. Now I am free to do exactly what I want when I want. Having hobbies also helps as being home without interests could be boring. I have a friend who has no hobbies except housework- she has a very clean and tidy home! My home is clean and tidy too but not all the time. I do think that it is difficult and almost impossible to help people change their lifestyle unless they really want to - a bit like religion - it's not for everyone.

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  17. Hi Ilona Mayze Heidi and Oscar - I thank you so much for all the wise advice you give us all. I am a fan no doubt about that. My two fur babies have been spoilt today went up to Pets at Home and bought them some high quality food - the reason being Amy and Ben on 8th May got involved in a fight with some cats who never come here and they both have sore mouths. So my neighbour suggested spoiling them and luckily they have got much better. Cats are notorious for fighting due to their territorial instincts. Will carry on being frugal its the only answer in this day and age for people of our age and you can stil have a very nice life. Thank you Ilona Love Liz Amy and Benny.xxxxx

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