Thursday, 9 November 2017

Flirting, is it a dying art?

Hello. Yesterday I was a brazen hussy, I had a little flirt. I thought I had forgotten how to do that, but no, it all came back to me in an instant.  

I couldn't stop myself, I don't know where it came from. These are not my lips by the way. A man walking his dog who I see from time to time, we often have a little chat, has grown a beard to keep the wind off his face for the winter. He's a nice chap anyway, but with full facial he is even better looking.

We had a bit of banter, he is a friendly sort, and I complimented him on his new winter whiskers, and then it happened, I flirted. Can't tell you what I said, but we both laughed. I shocked myself as soon as it came out of my mouth, the old lorry driver in me came to the surface. Thank goodness he took it in the jovial way I meant it. With all the hoohaa about inappropriate innuendo's flying around and people getting all hot under the collar about being propositioned, I wondered if I had over stepped the mark. Hopefully not, I expect I shall find out the next time I see him. If he walks straight by me and ignores me, I'll know he was offended. If he stops to chat I will know he took it in the light hearted way I meant it. Mind you, there's no denying, he is drop dead gorgeous, ha ha.

I've always enjoyed a bit of flirting, never been backwards at coming forwards when I have been in the company of fanciable men. In fact I have always preferred to choose my men, rather than wait for someone to choose me.

We have to be careful now though, how sad that chatting people up is no longer acceptable. Hasn't it been the case ever since the year dot that if you took a liking to someone you let them know, just in case you might stand a chance of getting a date. So what happens now? No more flirting. How sad.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

50 comments:

  1. I think flirting is still there. And I think most don't mind it.
    What is not acceptable is unwanted 'flirting'. For example if that guy hadn't liked what you said,and even after knowing that if you had kept saying similar things that would have not been flirting, at least not to him.
    Just my two cents.

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  2. chatting people up is still acceptable! So is mutual flirting- it's the sustained unwanted or too aggressive behaviour that isn't. Normal men and women will still flirt and make cheeky comments to each other I hope- but those powerful and persistent men will no longer be able to have younger people with no power under siege.Keep consensual and enjoyable flirting going - it's a misnomer to think that men can't tell the difference- they absolutely can, it is about power and belittling- not attraction.

    Love the blog by the way- long time lurker xx

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    1. Welcome, you will get used to my sense of humour.

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    2. I love it already!
      Loads of good tips and ideas, I'm a while off retiring but I want it to be like yours!

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  3. I think it's not the concept of chatting up, it is how appropriate it is and how much it happens that is the concern, and whether people are using a position of relative power to 'force' their attentions on others who may not be in a position to feel they can reject them without other harm being done.
    After all, people will always fancy each other and make approaches.
    J x

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  4. I'm a brazen hussy too. It's a jolly fine art that makes people feel better about themselves. xx

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  5. Hi Ilona, the world (society) has gone stark raving mad!!!! Let's hope it passes.the things that allot of people are complaining about' sexual harresment' used to be dealt with by walking away..telling them to stop or a good slap !! And why didn't they do something about it t the time? If they thought it was so bad,even thinking about their career shouldn't stop them from making it known !! This is what most people think,but don't dare say it. Right, had my rant ...oh and why don't the government get on with taking care of the country rather than telling us who said an 'inappropriate ' thing to them where has common sense gone ?? Susan

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  6. I love a cheeky flirt, makes us feel good. Flirting's fine, it's when it's aggressive and unwanted that it becomes sinister.

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  7. O you are awful but I like you as quoted by Dick Emery

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  8. Oh dear, Ilona, I think you must have got the wrong eng of the stick dear, don't worry, flirting is still alive and kicking, but thankfully nowadays we're heading in the direction of equal rights and along with that comes speaking out and taking action against sexual harrassment. Luckily there are enough people who don't share your view or we'd be stuck in the dark ages for even longer.

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    1. Oh dear, Jenny, you really are taking my post seriously, when it was only intended to be a bit of fun. You have got the wrong end of the stick, and don't call me 'dear', I find that really offensive, dear.

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    2. I bet you made his day!

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    3. Okay -- that answer did me in! I'm stilling laughing ... in my office. You're too funny, Ilone! And, I do get your humor. They say a good laugh is as good as --- :) not that I agree, but it certainly does lower one's blood pressure and keeps us young at heart. Chris

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    4. Oh dear,dear-thats ridiculous -no one is talking about sexual harassement-just someone giving another person a compliment.I,expect could be accused of flirting with a dog next when I tell them what a gorgeous boy they are x

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    5. "OH dear" in her case was not calling you "dear." In the US "oh dear" is an expression of surprise or bad disappointment. I despise being called "dear, sugar, sweetie, and honey."

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    6. The poster called Ilona 'dear' as well as saying "Oh dear", it was pretty patronising.
      But I agree with the poster, sexual harassment (I don't mean flirting) belongs in the dark ages. Women shouldn't have to put up with that nonsense. Karen

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  9. Loved your post, had a giggle, our world is sadder when you can't flirt. Fingers crossed next time you pass him, he gives you his warmest smile.

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  10. I possibly don’t know how to flirt. I’ve never got a date out of it. There’s no harm in it in the normal course of events, though. I bet he was dead chuffed. Common sense is what’s needed. Natalie

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  11. I sexually harassed my boyfriend on our first date. We have now been married 22 years. He often said if I hadn't thrown myself at him we probably would never have got together because he is so shy. He's also gorgeous and beardy - I still like a little flirt with him every now and then much to my children's disgust! x

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  12. Good for you! I bet he really liked it most men love a bit of flattery. I heard something ridiculous on tv the other day, a point of view was put forward that winking was akin to sexual harassment, what a load of rot!

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  13. A bit of banter and appropriate humour is always good in my book!
    Arilx

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  14. "I wondered if I had over stepped the mark"

    Hubby just read your post and says not to worry as they don't usually report it for 20 years. :)

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  15. I used to work with a man that said the most innapropriate things.... We fell about the place laughing, he was just so funny. It brightened our day as we never knew what he would come out with next. I can't be bothered with all the politically correct brigade. I am sure they lay awake half the night wondering what they can be offended about next.

    Ilona I am dying of curiosity..... :-)

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    1. When you work with men there will be a certain amount of banter. I was constantly chatted up, most of it was not to be taken seriously. I wasn't there to pick men up, I was there to work, so I kept the flirting for overnight at Truckstops ;o)

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    2. ooo errrr... Good on you girl. x

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  16. You know, if he reads your blog, your secret is out ;) LOL

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  17. I bet you made his day. He probably walked away thinking YES I have still got it!! Sharon

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  18. Hope you still find time to write your blog don’t want you out morning noon and night walking just in case you accidentally on purpose bump into him again 😜

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  19. Good on you girl. Big thumbs up! ! Can't wait to find out what happens next xxxx

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    1. I'll let you know, when I next see him on a dog walk.

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  20. I think it's absolutely fine to flirt when it's done in a fun,happy way-a bit ''tongue in cheek''.Most people enjoy it and a bit of flattery can cheer an otherwise mundane day.Continental people do it all the time.I've had innuendoes said to me mainly by old men dog walking my dogs but is said with a twinkle.I think a compliment to male or female is lovely-we should do it more.The odd person sadly looks irritated if I just say ''good morning''or ''hello''-but most love a chat and have problems they want to air.Keep flirting I say x

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  21. you bring up "concerns" I have thought much about in the past year.

    For myself, I am an "old" married woman, it is not a concern. Yet, these days, with all that's in the news, and so many vastly different cultures and mores, it is still (for someone like me) a MINEFIELD. Round abouts where I live, you would NOT believe ( I don't ) the reactions I have gotten in return for a friendly smile and a nod. (this from different cultures).

    But, I do worry about Young Folks/Dating Folks. This is hugely problematical. And, I think it must be a huge stressor. These days it is likely a minefield. At this point I was going to say, "for all but the elderly and infirm". Sadly, I cannot even give that "exception". Don't know if you all saw the news reports, but the United States "most famous" elderly and infirm person (Elder George Bush) is in Hot Water (and one wonders how much money has been paid out?)...Apparently he, while even elderly, infirm and in his wheelchair, has a habit of asking any attractive woman near to him to lean over, asks her the question "do you know my favorite magician?". While she is leaning over to listen, he says.."David Cop a Feel", and grabs her bum.

    (of course I do wonder why someone hasn't been assigned to stand next to him? Preferrably someone he wouldn't fancy?

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  22. Unless you have power over him in any way, you are not in any danger of sexual harassing the guy. If he stops and lingers a bit longer and looks thrilled to see you, now he might be interested. Besides, I don't think complimenting a guy for his beard is sexual. But, then again, I don't what you said, you hussy! lol

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  23. Sounds like fun, Ilona. MyselfI always loved stories and films featuring a flirty, combative couple, like Scarlett and Rhett and Han and Leia in Star Wars. I suppose nowadays Han wouldn't be allowed to invade Leia's space the way he does, whereas I always found it sexy and fun and Rhett certainly couldn't carry Scarlett off up that staircase. I'm weary of political correctness, goodness knows how we all managed years ago without being offended 24/7.

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  24. I prefer you as a sensible lady Ilona..take my advice..men are nothing but trouble.

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    1. There are many sides of me, to be constantly sensible would be boring. Sorry, I will not be taking your advice, I know some very nice men.

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    2. If you know of a spare,handsome,tall vetinary physician Ilona-I would be very interested-who is also a chef and practical too x

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    3. Flis,If you get one like that,could you enquire if he has a twin brother aswell...the one who is a multi millionair?,Lol,Debi,x

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    4. Course I will Debi,and it's not beyond expectations that we could be really lucky and find triplets and then it would be only fair that Ilona chooses first x

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    5. Ok Flis,i think that would be fair enough.If the 3rd one is a beardy one I am quite sure Ilona would choose that one....But we must warn you Ilona....you go getting yourself pregnant..me and Flis will not be babysitting at the weekends cause we will be out boogying with his brothers...the other 2 vets,lol,Debi,xx

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  25. When I was a little girl, Mum used to sing "It's never too late to fall in love" after her & Dad saw the play "The Boy Friend". After reading your post, I found it online and could hear Mum all over again. Still a good tune & summat to think about as well.

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  26. I remember the days when I'd walk past a building site to hear wolf whistles...and then worrying about the day when they'd no longer happen... I think builders are great fun, pity they're not allowed to do it any more!

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  27. A lovely story; could be the start of a new friendship, good for you for making his day (I bet he does stop and talk the next time you see him). Amanda

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  28. I also think there is a distinct division between flirting and sexual harassment. I will flirt with men occasionally and it's quite clear that it is just flirting. I have been on the receiving end of a noticeable amount of sexual harassment from men when I was younger (ie still attractive) and there were times when it went further than that! These days I look back and think I should have been stronger/stood up for myself a sight more than I did. So I am very pleased to see that Society has now obviously reached a watershed and things should be a lot better for younger women than they were for me. A comment by one of the women speaking out in the press today was to effect that the men who acted that way towards here were always ones with more power than she had - and it was quite clear that these mens attitude was about power basically. Fortunately - I've never been put in a position at least where a more "powerful" man could make or break my career (dependant on my response to his actions). That's basically because I've only ever had jobs - and not a career as such. But I can understand that it is very difficult for women in some positions (eg in acting or modelling) to refuse the unwanted sexual approaches AND try and further their career and it's clear there were times when women were forced into a relucant "choice" of dipping out on their career or letting a man impose what he wanted personally on them.

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  29. I love that you flirted and look forward to hearing the next installment. I am betting he will stop and chat next time he sees you.

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  30. I find old men trying to flirt with young girls creepy to be honest, i do like a bit of flirting but don't get much chance nowadays. I prefer if they make me laugh rather than dirty talk. I find some of the youth is very uncouth, my partner works with a man whose trousers are down his backside, showing everything, and says things like I'm as full as a chunky cxxt in a room full of women and swears every other word, i wouldn't like to think what his type of flirting is :(

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