Sunday, 22 January 2017

Mind your language

Hello. Isn't it sad that people of supposedly higher than average intelligence feel the need to use foul language when they feel strongly about something. Anger rears it's ugly head in many aspects of our lives these days. The media, including magazines, newspapers, TV, and internet, are all becoming littered with offensive, filthy mouthed swearing. What does this say about the person spewing these profanities? The message I am getting is that it reveals a lack of self control, a lack of anger management, and an inability to express oneself eloquently due to a limited vocabulary.

Keyboard warriors are the worst culprits. It's so easy to punch a few keys on a keyboard before putting your brain into gear, with no thought of how your words might be perceived by the millions out there reading it. Anger mixed with foul language is a toxic combination and belongs in a sewer.

I don't suppose the millions of trolls out there give a stuff about how many people they offend, they see swearing as cool, makes them feel big, gives them a buzz. Anonymous trolls hide behind their anonymity, they haven't the guts to put their names to the bile they spew. They are to be pitied.

Then there are the people who you wouldn't expect to be swearing, those that do put their names to their words. It comes as a bit of a surprise that those well known faces should compromise their position by allowing their anger to bubble up to such a degree that they are no longer in control of their fingers darting across the keyboard.

Mind you, woe betide anyone who dares to challenge the use of foul language, for on social media they can easily be deleted. Warning, when you challenge an angry person who is spewing offensive language, your comment will be dumped. Maybe not immediately, but go back at a later time and it will be gone.

Don't mess with an angry person, it's not worth the hassle. Ignore. Being angry makes them feel good. Leave the anger with them, it's their anger, not yours. Do not take any part of it. Keep calm, move on.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

PS. Please don't swear in your comments. Thank you.

51 comments:

  1. Language is a very interesting topic, how it evolves and what has become 'accepted' and what is not. I went to collect a newspaper this morning and on the back windscreen of a car parked outside the shop was 'C**T'; what was that about? A vendetta, a few drunken unfunny pranksters? The mind boggles. I have to mention, a few friends have been talking this week about the difference in insulting and derogatory remarks made between the sexes i.e a 'loose' woman can be called a slut, scrubber etc but no male equivalent: always a 'ram', 'stallion' etc conveying a very different idea - to be 'admired' for getting the attention; not slated and scorned as a woman may be. Just a thought, don't want to start a heated debate. Amanda

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  2. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/intelligent-people-tend-to-be-messy-stay-awake-longer-and-swear-more-a7174256.html

    Apparently people who swear are not limited in vocabulary or any of the things usually directed at them. That said, I personally don't much like it. Most of us do it at times though.

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    1. What a load of bunkum.

      Quote
      You always hear, that people who swear have a “limited vocabulary”. But if you think about it, those who don't use any swear words are the ones who limit their own vocabulary, because they intentionally use fewer words than others.
      Unquote.

      Oh for goodness sake. People who don't swear can easily articulate their argument using the millions of other words available without resorting to profanities.

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    2. Maybe. You can also be an angry person who never swears or make people angry while never swearing at them. I agree swearing is unpleasant but I wouldn't use it as a gauge for measuring the worth of others. Some of the truly nicest people can be rough diamonds while some shiny smooth people can be mean and nasty at heart.

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  3. I do see your point. There was a scene in this week's episode of Taboo where Jonathan Pryce is in his office, someone knocks at the door and he shouts "..... off", they knock again and he shouts the same thing. So many times in my previous corporate life I've wanted to do that!!!

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  4. I was involved in a discussion recently on social media, someone had made 'assumptions' about someone which I didn't agree with so I stuck my nose in and said so, they then used the fact they were posting in a closed group that the comments should not been discussed outside this group, comments went back and forth for a while till the discussion ended, I'm sure it happens a lot, hiding behind the internet... I deleted my comments and in the words of Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that...

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    1. Hi Jo. You said what you thought, without swearing. Nothing wrong with that.

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  5. Sorry, got to butt in again; just had a conversation and someone in the group commented that 'it's what hat you put on' i.e it is not acceptable in the workplace to swear and name-call to fellow colleagues, bosses, clients etc; however, in your own home and under your 'own rules' you can be as obscene as you like if it is your home (not saying it is a good thing with children and vulnerable ones in earshot); the same in your own adult peer group - you decide if effing and blinding is a giggle or insulting... Our age group watched television in our youth with mainly no foul language - 70s and early 80s but then it all started to change. However, I must just say that the 'greatest' English literature has obscene language in it - a little in Shakespeare, but Chaucer is rife with blushingly-flowery innuendoes and downright toe-curling insults. I personally don't like swearing for the sake of it, use another noun, adverb etc but I do occasionally so can't admonish anyone who does. Amanda

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  6. This was a wonderful post. Thank you for encouraging civility. JanF

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  7. I once had a new boss who swore and used the F word. I did not like it and said how surprised I was to here a man with a doctorate use such language. I did not hear such language at home and would not put up with it from him, thank you very much. He was so surprised and apologised. he told my other team members not to swear in front of me and ,mostly they didn't but apologised if they did slip occasionally. Sometimes we have to stand up for what we believe to be true. I was quite prepared to not work there if he continued in the old ways but he didn't.

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  8. No need at all to use foul language to express one's anger. It can be perfectly done with civil words. Donald Trump gave an example of that. With one normal, civil word he just "killed" Meryl Streep. What many will remember of the actress, is not her talent but that she's "overrated".

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    1. Meryl Streep is a very good actress with a lot of good films to her name. D. Trump can't stand to be critised so what he does is go on the attack immediately. That is bully behaviour. And that from Mr. Pussygraber himself.

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    2. Trump spit on civil discourse throughout his campaign with his constant insults, name-calling and self-absorbed bullying. And of course he was caught on tape using the F word. His comment that Meryl Streep was overrated was laughable. Meryl Streep speaks for me.

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    3. No way can Donald Trump be called civil!. He is a racist ,homophobic, sexist, abusive, bullying tyrant !. We saw that in Scotland before he became your president!. I fear hitler 2

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    4. Do you really think so? It'll be most interesting if not a depressing prospect seeing what the not-so-delightful Mr Trump is remembered for; there is already so much to alarm us.
      Sally

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    5. Talking about D. Trump is a bit off topic. I don't remember hearing him swear.

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    6. Ilona, you may not have heard Trump swear, but he was caught on tape from an entertainment show saying the F word as well as saying he likes to grab women by the P. This was widely aired in the U.S.

      I would not have mentioned this before the comment on how Trump's words "killed" Meryl Streep.

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    7. Just wanted to add that if you don't want to keep the Trump line going in the comments, you can ignore my previous comment. But I did want you to know that Trump does use bad language and it is on record. To me, DUTA's first comment was the one off topic. Best to you.

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    8. Name-calling often hurts more than swearing.

      Online adversaries who resort to that and ad hominem attacks tend to be those "keyboard warriors" you mentioned. They don't seem to have anything else to do.

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  9. Its funny but I just had a family member use a foul/sexist word to describe our new leader and she said it in front of other family members, one of which was my niece who is a teen. The teen ran out of the room and upstairs to her bedroom and would not come back down to the dinner table. She was embarrassed for her grandmother (yes, her grandmother used the foul language) and said it was very rude of her to speak like that in company especially at the dinner table. I couldn't agree more. How low class is that? I'd like to know what others here think of that? Was she being too sensitive? I'm not saying he isn't what she called him, but it wasn't the time or place to say that IMO. Arlene from NJ

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  10. The other night I worked eight hours overnight as part of a team of three. The other girl swore using the ' f ' word every other word. I've told her boss I'll not work with her again if she continues to use such language. It's not clever, it's not necessary and I find it offensive. Good on you for encouraging civil behaviour.

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    1. You could have told it herself, why go to her boss first.

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    2. Anon has every right to complain to her boss if her working environment is upsetting her, due to the insensitive talk from her colleagues. I personally don't like confrontation, I don't want to get into a fight with anyone. Very often if you challenge someone about their behaviour there is a possibility of getting a load of abuse back.

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  11. In the bus trip to workplace, I used to hear the swearing by people talking loudly on their cell phones. I don't allow foul talk in my home and it is my rule.

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    1. Well, thinking about it that way I'd rather overhear someone swearing quietly than shouting anything at all into a cellphone. On a plane, in a line at the grocery checkout, in a doctor's waiting room, even walking down the street...ugh. I don't need to hear anyone's "personal" conversations!

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  12. Sigh...
    sounds like you have recently run into this situation...Sorry for your experience.

    True, those folks who are angry and often spewing potty mouth, are best left. It is a bit like trying to reason with someone high on drugs/alcohol..Not possible. Now that I have just put that thought into action, I suddenly wonder...Maybe it is more like that than I have ever before considered? Maybe it is their "drug"? Don't they say when folks are angrily out of control all sorts of chemicals in their brain/body are raised? mmmm

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    1. I am not referring to myself, something I saw this morning on Facebook prompted me to write this.

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  13. I worked with someone (male) who used the "F" word a lot. So much so, that I found it difficult to understand the point of the conversation. I finally told him that if he had a point to make with me, he needed to eliminate all of the "F" words and simply state what he needed to share with me. I told him it would allow me to actually understand if he really had anything worthwhile to say and it would take a lot less time to say it. He did do better after that, however I would still overhear him speak with others flourishing his conversation with many, many "F" words. Some people just don't get it. Ranee (MN) USA

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  14. I have been known to use the odd expletive in life, but not in print! I deplore parents who swear every other word in front of their kids, or people who put effing in front of every noun - I hear this a lot here in Essex but I don't think it is just an Essex thing. They don't even use these words in anger! I unfollowed a woman I thought was very interesting on Facebook because she had been told off by someone in a supermarket when her child copied her example and swore and she just laughed. There was a long thread with most of her followers agreeing with her that it was perfectly ok to swear whenever and wherever you want and every else should mind their own effing business...i think it is totally lazy
    Jane

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  15. It's a dead turn off. It's lazy speak to me and quite harsh sounding.

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  16. Hi Ilona I think some of the worst offenders are the keyboard warriors, cowardly and pathetic creatures.Another great post as usual.x

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  17. I hate to hear people effing and jeffing in public (or online) but I must admit, on a bad day, when the house is empty it has been know for me to turn the air blue ;0). The point of swearing is that it is meant to be offensive and it is meant to shock. Those that replace every day words to express themselves with foul language have missed the point - they come across as being a bit..well...limited up top. Angry people? Yes the internet (and our communities) are full of angry people. Best give them a wide berth - sweary or not.

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  18. Crumbs I swear all the time but not at people and I am careful who I use this language with. I think the only person I actually swear about though is Donald Trump - I call him a bodily part occasionally because he does drive me literally bonkers. I wouldn't swear in writing though. That is rude.

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  19. I have always believed true professionals do not use foul language while doing business. I have also always thought not swearing is a sign of intelligence.

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  20. Excellent post, Ilona. Mary Jane in Canada.

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  21. When I was in the Navy, swearing was practically mandatory among the enlisted ranks, but fairly rare for officers. Education levels were undoubtedly a factor, but officers - in general - came from families whose parents taught and enforced civil behavior at home. Swearing is an attempt to get attention. Trump is a perfect example of the type - an insecure, ignorant megalomaniac who needs constant attention. Your advice Ilona, to keep calm and move on is the best way to deal with it. Ignoring them drives 'em nuts. R/Tim

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  22. Have to agree with you Ilona, lack of self control and no respoect or consideration for the feelings of others, the rot goes deep and I don't suppost it's reversible, absolutely no need for foul language (my mother used to call it pit language and that's where it should be buried). Glad it wasn't a personal attack on you this time - but wait a while and one will probably be along..........! Good to know Bugsy has a little more time. Nice coats, keep warm. Elaine x

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  23. Nothing to do with the above, but you might find this interesting.

    http://thegirlthatstitches.blogspot.co.uk/2017/01/t-shirt-yarn-project-reveal-part-2.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+TheGirlThatStitches+(The+Girl+that+Stitches) This girl cuts up tee shirts and turns them into lovely mats.

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  24. I blame it on lack of vocabulary and lack of intelligence.

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  25. I have always said to the kids that I don't want it in the house, very occasionally they swear and I lightly tell them off and occasionally I do if I'm really frustrated, but its rare. the kids tell me its like a second language at school and at uni, but I think they are grateful they come home and its not here as well. Even they have words they don't like to say. my daughter showed me messages from her friend to her friends boyfriend, copied to her, and it was disgusting the way they talked to each other, he was supposed to be in a relationship with her with all that entails and he spoke to her like dirt. I had a conversation with my daughter as I was shocked and said to her that nobody should speak to anyone like that at all under no circumstance and if she should not lower herself to go out with someone who can talk to her like that, it is totally unacceptable. whats happened to good old fashioned romance, morals and a bit of common courtesy, a bit of affection etc. Girl seem to go back to boys or vice a versa, that call them sxxxg, sxxxt, and worse. it makes me angry for my kids and who they will go out with - Julie t

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  26. Just wanted to say thanks for your wonderful blog. I know it may sound crazy, but I think being able to read about your wonderful adventures has literally saved my sanity. Keep being your amazing self ... you're the best!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. I think you are pretty amazing too. xxx

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  27. Just one very good reason NOT to use Facebook is all I can say!

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    1. I don't put much on there about myself, I just read. It's surprising what you find out. Some people take on a different persona, and when you have met them face to face, their change in personality all makes sense.

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  28. I couldn't disagree more with the idea that swearing is connected to a lack of intelligence and vocabulary. I have a 1st class degree in primary education, specialising in English; over 90% of my written work was graded as a 1st, my highest grade being 84 and the lowest 67. My highest exam result was 99 and my lowest 70. My adult daughters both have 2:1 English based degrees from good universities; the elder has a degree in Language, literacy and communication ( and is an English teacher) and the younger's degree is in English literature and sociology. All of us have been known to swear, not every other word, but in anger or frustration.
    I have to say that I was a bit surprised to read your post, as I seemed to recall that you enjoy watching Catherine Tate's 'Nan' character, who swears. I had a quick search and in December 2015 you posted a clip of a 'Nan' sketch. Having never watched it, I did so, and the character used sh*t on several occasions and the F word once during the sketch. You wrote "Her comedy doesn't half make me laugh, even her swearing is funny." I just wondered if your opinion about swearing has changed since you wrote that? Is it acceptable in a comedy sketch on TV, but not when someone feels strongly about something or is angry? I'm not having a go, just interested.

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    1. Hi, thanks for your comment. I still find Nan funny. A comedy script is written to provoke laughs, I don't take it too seriously. Expletives coming from the mouth of an elderly lady who is known to be a lot younger in real life, is just acting. She is playing a fictional character.

      However, in my opinion, swearing driven by anger is ugly. It's only purpose is to incite more anger. I believe in the power of rational discussion, the ability to talk/debate about an issue in a calm way, without resorting to swearing. Sadly though, some people are not in control of their emotions, and through sheer frustration of not getting their point across they wrongly believe that throwing a few expletives into the mix will give their opinion more clout. There is no point in trying to reason with someone who insists on presenting their argument in this way.

      I have no degrees, no GCSE's, no qualifications. My education comes from living my life as I see fit. My writings reflect that.

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    2. Thanks for replying; it's nice to be able to put across a different viewpoint without being attacked for it as happens such a lot on blogs. I don't swear at people, but in anger or frustration at a situation. More often than not there is nobody else around.
      We'll have to agree to differ about Catherine Tate as Nan though. I don't think her swearing added anything to the sketch and it didn't make me laugh.

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    3. To Scarlet...Nan is supposed to be senile which is why she swears. It is supposed to be shocking and inappropriate.

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