Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Skin deep.

Wow, I am glad I wrote that post yesterday, I struggled with it I must admit, afraid I might be revealing too much about myself. But it sparked a reaction and I thank everyone who added their comments. It's too big a topic to cover in one post so I'll stretch it out a bit more for today, don't worry you don't need to comment again.

Billie Jane, I have some awful photo's of myself as well, most of them get torn up because I can't bear to see them. I can't count the amount of times I have been looking forward to getting my photo's back from the developers, only to be bitterly disappointed with the face staring back at me. Thank goodness for digital cameras, press delete and they are gone.

Steve and Denise, Thank you for looking past my face and not just saying, 'you look alright to me', as most people would. You know that comment would be no help at all. If only we could get more people to look through faces. I hope 2010 is good for you.

Brightandnew, I am really pleased that you like my blog, I write from the heart, no pretentions, no ego trip, just my slant on life and what I make of it. If you can pick bits out that interest you then I'm happy.

Fluttergirl, I am really chuffed that you decided to comment and share your hurt. I too remember the nasty things people said to me. Even a member of my own family was hurtfull. He once said, 'you look effing awful, why don't you do something about yourself'.' Another time I overheard two men talking about me, one said, 'she's got a face like an effing thunderstorm.' (Excuse the French). You don't forget things like that. I hope you have a lovely life from now on.

lindsey, Thankyou for your support. My mother did the wallpapering, we could only afford to buy the end of line wallpaper so had to stick it up as it came, only just enough to do one wall. She was wonderfull nothing matched in our house. Glad it made you smile, the whole house made me laugh. :-)

Sharon, I didn't find out what BDD was till later on, and when I read about it in a magazine, I thought, wow, that's me, now it is becoming clearer. Of course at the time I didn't tell anyone for fear of them calling me a crank. But it was like a light going on, oh so that's it! It's more than just hating something about yourself, it becomes the only thing you think about. Some people suffer much more than me, thankfully I have managed to cope reasonably ok. In fact it has probably made me the person I am. My confidence can sometimes plummet, then I over compensate and mentally drag myself back up from the doldrums, even becoming slightly bolshie. You have to or you wont survive.

Annabel, I will look out for that book, I greatly admire women who challenge the norm, women who aren't afraid to be themselves. There are too many expectations put on women to conform to the stereotypical wife/mother role. It's good to know that women are choosing to follow their dreams.

Jane, I like your blog piece, it's a shame they airbrushed Twiggy, she looks lovely anyway. When will people wake up and see the trashy celeb magazines for what they are, a money spinning, made up, plastic fantasy world. Sometimes those nasty media people snap a star without their slap, usually women, and say, 'oh my God, what does she look like?' Ermmm, excuse me....she looks normal.

This topic has brought a lot of positive feedback from you all, and only good can come from it. The more it is discussed the more people will be brave enough to come out. Beauty really is only skin deep. Mind you, I didn't look too bad here did I?
A professional makeover for Chat magazine, no air brushing. You should have seen the before picture :O(


  1. Thanks Ilona for your kind words. I appreciate them and hope that you can rise above the ignorance of others and the cruel comments that you have had to hear. Of course it is easier said than done. The hurt I have felt often makes me feel like I prefer to be around my cat than people! Try and keep your spirits up and stay positive because you obviously have so much going for you.

  2. How strange that just as you wrote this I found a photograph (among the pile my brother left with me) that I thought I had destroyed... it was my school photo aged 14... bright red hair, national health black rimmed specs and severe acne. At the time I ripped them all up and hadn't realised that my father must have rescued one and saved it... looking at it now, actually I just look like a young geeky girl and the acne isn't as bad as I remember it. Perhaps reality is always shaped by what is inside us and nothing is quite as we think it is. :=)


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