Calling all walkers, report here please.

Hello. My visit to Hull yesterday. First I drove to Barton to have a look at the exhibitions in the Ropewalk Galleries. One was closed due to installing new exhibits, the other was a series of paintings which illustrated Spurn Point, didn't like them much at all, and of course the prices were ridiculous. .

Then I caught the bus to Hull. The fountains in the city centre were advertised as something special, I was expecting them to be arty, colourful, and maybe a bit showy with background music. Like dancing fountains. Don't know where I got that idea from. Nope, It was a splash pad, with jets of water coming up out of the ground and lots of little children having fun playing guess which one is going to spurt next, and let's see what happens if I put my foot on this one. It was a gloriously hot day, ideal for a splash about, kids and mums alike were enjoying it. I remember seeing the fountains in Bradford five years ago and they were shooting up as high as the buildings. Maybe that's why I thought these would be the same. Sorry, no pictures, it is frowned upon to take photo's of small children in their underwear in a public place.

Next stop the Ferens Art Gallery to see the pictures from the Sea of Hull, you may remember that everyone was painted blue and photo's were taken at various locations in the city centre. I was hoping to see more pictures than what had already been shown on the internet. There were two that I hadn't seen before, a lot of naked people were photographed on the Humber Bank with the bridge in the background. They weren't blue, just their own naked skin in the buff. The blue ones I had already seen, albeit in a smaller screen size. Have a look at this report in the Hull Daily Mail on the opening day.

Also part of the Skin exhibition are several nude sculptures by Ron Mueck, some of them larger than life, some in miniature, all of them perfect in every detail. They are so lifelike you have to get up close to see where every hair has been inserted into the model. I was not allowed to take any photo's in the gallery, but if you check out this BBC webpage, there is a picture of the Wild Man. The man is a giant perched on a giant stool, the top of my head came up to his nipples. The rest of the exhibition was fascinating, nude lifelike bodies of different sizes.

I wasn't long in Hull, the bus journey took ages because of the heavy traffic. I picked up a few yellow stickers at Tesco in Barton. A nice cauliflower for 48p marked down from £2, TWO CHUFFIN POUNDS, good grief. Bags of salad leaves for 16p.

The duvet has been deconstructed, and is now three separate pieces, now to start sewing.

Hands up anyone who uses resealable packs as they are supposed to? I find that they are such a faff to get the two sides to stick together that I don't bother. I cut them off completely, fold over, and seal with a clothes peg. Simple. To the manufacturers, get rid of them and knock a couple of pence off the price.

Here's a thought, are young people losing their observational skills? I presented this at the checkout at Wilko, girl scanned it and held out her hand asking for 50p. Hey girl, open your eyes, what does it stay there? I do despair, no wonder the tills are being replaced by self serve, brains are no longer required to be a checkout assistant.

Now to the most important part of today's post, THE WALKING GROUP CHECK IN REMINDER. Come on, are you a bragger, or a fessing up participant, ha ha. Have you broken all records with your walking, or have you failed to get up off your bum? I am a bit of both. I will get on with it when I feel like it, or I can say stuff it, I'll not bother today. I am able to ease up a bit on the three mile daily walks because I have clocked up a few extra miles on longer walks. It's like a deposit account, today I have 570 miles in the bank. On the other hand, if I take my eye off the ball for too long there is a possibility that I might fall behind. I can't let that happen.

So how are you doing? Let us know so we can admire your stamina or give you a kick up the bum to get on with it. Only joking, don't get too hung up about the numbers, just do as much as you can. It needs to be enjoyable, not a slog.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

Saturday summary

Hello. We've had a couple of downpours today, not as much as those down south though. I was outside painting the garage doors, and had to hurriedly retreat indoors as the heavens opened. The job might get finished in a few days, I have a short attention span so I am doing it a bit at a time. Pity I haven't got enough of the same colour paint to do the whole lot, never mind, no one else will have doors like mine. 

The car was loaded up this morning, cat litter is flippin heavy, my poor springs. The Focus Estate is a good workhorse. A local cat litter factory has a clear out every so often and offers the cat rescues round here the old stock which they can't sell for one reason or another. Some of it is contaminated, a mixture of two or more different varieties, this happens when the packing machines change over from one to the other. Some of it is old stock which the customer no longer requires. Before they dump it in landfill they tell us to come and collect what we want. The men this morning were very helpful, getting it out with the forklift truck and helping us load it into the cars. It's good of them to offer it to the rescues first before it gets chucked, saves us a lot of money. 

I went to town this afternoon, needed to stock up on nuts and seeds for my breakfast cereals. Aldi for the nuts, Holland and Barrett for the seeds. While I was there I had a look at the new exhibition in the Arts Centre. Some amazing Lego models, I'll post some pictures soon.

I have decided to get rid of my motorcycle gear, I'm never going to ride a bike again so not much point in hanging on to them. I have a leather jacket and trousers, boots, helmet, and full waterproof suit. There's a couple of bike shops and a training centre on the way to town that might be able to make use of them, but they were closed today so I'll have to go back another time.

I am beginning to feel a bit out of touch with the pop world, it's all moved on since I was a teenager screaming at the Beatles. There is a big outdoor Radio1 pop concert on over the border in Yorkshire this weekend, and I've never heard of any of the performers. I hadn't heard of Ariana until this week. I have no idea who these up and coming young stars are.

Soon the pop festivals start, and I have to admit I have never been to one. The only festival I have been to is a truck festival. I can't see the point in being trapped in a crowd peering at some dots leaping about on a stage. You can look at the big screen but you might as well watch it at home in the comfort of your arm chair. Nope, I don't fancy that at all. Years ago I did see The Rolling Stones at Stafford, I was lucky enough to be at the front, and The Kinks and The Honeycombs at our local  dance hall, quite a small venue. Years later I saw Meatloaf at the NEC and Cher at Sheffield. That's about it, never been to a pop festival.

The sky looks very angry, looks like another storm is brewing. The cats are in and I am going to watch something on yooootoooob, so I'll sign off. Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

A bit of an allsorts day.

Hello. I'm a bit late tonight, that's because I was following my own advice and getting up off my bum to walk. I didn't go till 8.30pm. It was lovely, nice and quiet, no one about, and quite mild. 

I trimmed my hair, didn't take as much off as I normally do, couldn't be bothered to get the two mirrors out and hang them on opposite doors. I put a small mirror on the window ledge outside the back door, and hacked away. Looks fine to me. Red is fading and brown roots coming through. 

I had one of my ready meals yesterday, it's like a brick. Eight minutes in the microwave soon brings it back to life.

I like to do a little job before breakfast while I have my morning coffee. Today it was sorting the buttons out.

All bagged up, now it's easy to find what I want.

The new super bespoke garden table was very useful today. I was given a load of pottery, ornaments and mugs etc, to sell on our cat stall. Best wash it outside in the sunshine, then I don't need to dry it. 

Dinner tonight was wholemeal pasta with runner beans, broad beans, and peas. A sprinkle of grated cheese and a dollop of mayo. Simple but filling.

 And then there were three. A pack of tee lights in B & M was £2, I went to Poundland and bought them for ......£1. I bought a jar of coffee from B & M for £4.50, the same jar was in Poundland for £5, as a managers special. It's a chuffin nightmare to keep track of prices. I had a nosy in the small Asda, the prices in there are a lot more than in the big store.

I didn't get to the vets, will have to do that tomorrow. I'm waiting for the plumber to get back to me, he is supposed to be servicing my boiler and checking my gas fire, but he is ever so busy. I've been chasing him up but he is not replying.

I've just been reading on a forum that someone had their car broken into and their handbag stolen. They are a bit peeved about that as you can imagine. Some lowlife was caught on camera using the card to withdraw cash out of a machine. What I want to know is why does anyone leave any valuables in their car anyway. People, please do not leave handbag, phone, keys, camera, satnav, computer, or anything of any value in your car.

I think it's bed time. Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

New arrangements for a doddery old cat

Hello. I didn't feel like going to Crafty Club this morning, didn't want to be quizzed about Rocky, so I decided to go late and slip in while they were nattering away to each other, and maybe they would carry on nattering. Didn't work. C said she was sorry to hear about Rocky, which set me off, then she said she had also lost her own dog a few days ago, so then I decided that we might as well get it all out in the open and talk about our losses. On top of that one lady came back after a long break, she has been nursing her sick husband who passed away a couple of months ago, so the mood was charged with emotion for a while, until normal conversations kicked in. Anyway, I am trying to move on, as everyone has to when faced with the loss of a beloved pet, or a beloved family member. 

This is the new arrangement in my living room now. Yes, the cat litter box has been installed on the table next to the food tray. I couldn't understand where the puddles were coming from on my desk and the table. The water level in the bowl was going down rather quickly, was Bugsy splashing as he drank or was he puking it back up again? He has decided that this window sill is his preferred place, for watching the world go by as well as sleeping there. I caught the little hooligan yesterday. He had a bite to eat, then immediately peed on the table, next to the tray. I grabbed him and put him in the litter box on the floor. the idle beggar couldn't be bothered to climb down and do it in the proper place. I think he may be losing his marbles. 

Aren't these flowers wonderful? The daughter of my elderly neighbour, who visits every day, bought them for me on hearing about Rocky. People are so kind.

Here's a little tip which will help your aching back, not that I have an aching back, mind you. I got rid of my plastic washing basket years ago. It was cumbersome, annoying to get out from under the stairs on wash day, and all that bending down to fill it out of the machine, then take it to the garden, more bending to hang the washing out.

I have a tall folding bar stool which fits in a space next to the kitchen worktop in the corner. When the washing is done I pull it out of the machine, shake the creases out and lay it flat on the chair. I don't like peg bags so I have my pegs in a basket, this I clip onto the back of the stool with a bulldog clip. Everything is at a comfortable working height so no bending down. I carry the whole lot outside and set it down on the grass to hang the washing. When it's dry, do the same procedure in reverse. Easy peasy, keeps my back straight.

Hey, look. New shoots are appearing on the lilac tree stumps. That's a good sign.

Look what has happened while I have been sitting here. Bugsy relieving himself. I suppose I had better scoop out the soiled litter now.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soo.
Toodle pip

Owain the weather man.

Hello. It's raining at the moment, our weather man Owain, says it's going to clear away throughout the day and we are going to have a bright weekend. Owain comes on my Twitter every morning, giving me the forecast so I can plan my daily activities.

He has a lovely presenting style, with a melodic welsh accent which I love. He's so cheerful with his smiley face. His profile says he likes drumming, and cats, so I asked if I could see him play the drums. Lo and behold he sent me a link to one of his yooootoooob videos, and by jove, he is good. I am impressed, a man of many talents, he speaks in Welsh as well. So here I am sharing this bit of sunshine with you on this rainy morning.

First a short profile, some examples of his work, note the longer hairstyle.



Now watch him bash hell out of his drum kit. Looks like a good upper body workout to me.



Good isn't he.

So. What am I doing today?

Playing with fabric scraps, I am in the mood for making a bag.

How are the Walking Group members getting on with their 1000 mile challenge? I am on 575 miles, need another eight to get me to the 7 month marker of 583 miles. Need this rain to stop please Owain.

Don't forget that Shed of the Year starts tonight on Channel 4 at 8pm. My shed will not be on this programme, you will have to wait until the fourth and last programme which will be on the 19th of August. However you will catch glimpses of me in the audience as I was there throughout the filming of the finals.

Lunch time, so I'll sign off. Have a nice weekend. We'll catch up soon
Toodle pip

Every yellow sticker helps

Good evening. I hope you are sitting comfortably, then I'll begin. Shopping went well last night at Tesco, I was there when the last yellow stickers were going on, managed to bag me some bargains. I had a £3 off voucher on a £20 spend, so I jotted down the prices when things went into the trolley. I stocked up on a few tins because I knew I would not reach the £20 with mainly reduced items. Here is the list.

Ground almonds £1.99

Carton Value apple juice 65p

2 cartons soya milk £1.30

2 packets Value sultanas £1.68

6 small yogurt £1.00

2 tins Value baked beans 48p

6 tins Value rice pudding 90p

2 tins Value spaghetti 40p

2 tins chopped tomatoes 68p

2 boxes bran flakes £1.76

Bottle olive oil £2.00

Bottle white wine £3.99

2 packs reduced prepared fruit 30p

Reduced houmous 10p

2 small packs reduced grapes 10p

2 packs reduced prepared salad 20p

fresh reduced carrots and peas 12p

Reduced bananas 4p

Reduced mushrooms 4p

Reduced crispy salad 18p

2 cucumber portions reduced 6p

Donuts reduced 30p

Sliced wholemeal loaf reduced 34p

2 wholemeal loaves reduced 40p 

Diced chicken for the cats £2.94

And then I did something I've never done before, I bought two bunches of chrysanths at 25p each. I don't have a vase big enough for all of them so I split them into three smaller ones and added a bit of greenery out of the garden. Brightens up my living room. A treat for me, I think I can afford it ;o))

This morning I took Ollie and Alfie out, the two black labs, and delivered them to the Boarding Kennels down the hill. They are now on their holidays for a week while their owner is in Cornwall. On the way back I popped in to see a friend who has had an operation on her foot. She has got a long recovery time of 12 weeks and can't do anything much, she is pretty much housebound. Can't be much fun for her.

This afternoon I went to the Arts Centre in town, then the library, returned some books and took some more out. Sewing and crafty books. I am drooling at the thought of getting my nose into them.
Inspired to Stitch by Wendy Lees.
Fabric Painting by Melanie Williams.
Free and Easy Stitch Style by Poppy Treffrey
Crewelwork by Phillipa Turnbull
Ribbon Embroidery & Stumpwork by Di van Niekerk
The art of Embroidery by Julia Barton.

Then there was just time for a bit of a bimble round the park before it gets dark.

Have a nice weekend. Toodle pip.

Nice to be invited

I got myself tarted up a bit today, I scrub up well if I can be bothered to make an effort. The Forest Pines Hotel is a pretty swish place and it wouldn't do to go in anything less than smart. I was invited to a friends and family gathering, to meet my friends daughter and grand daughter, who have flown over from Canada so the family can meet the new baby. I didn't think it was right to put their pics on here, so sorry, there are no baby photo's, you'll have to make do with the hotel instead. It's a big place with a big golf course attached to it. It's not a place I go to regularly, maybe once every five years, and only if I am invited to a 'do'. 

I took the opportunity to combine the outing with a bit of shopping. I have hardly any food left in the house, and I'm scraping the bottom of the fridge and cupboards to produce some meals. Morrisons is on the other side of town so I popped in there. Found a few yellow stickers, but most of what was on offer wasn't reduced enough. I wanted bananas but they only had large green ones, and I like small yellow ones, so I passed on those. Cathedral City cheese was on offer at £2 so I bought one, also Dutch tomatoes at £1, free range eggs, cabbage, and lettuce.

My bus pass runs out tomorrow so I called in the office next to the bus station to renew it. The man asked if I wanted to use the same photo. As I have changed a lot in the last five years, and I never liked the photo anyway, I opted for a new one. It's all very quick, tap a few keys on the computer, click the camera, all done in a couple of minutes. The pass will come in the post on Friday.

On the way back I stopped at Aldi to get the bananas. If I search through all the bags on display I can usually find a bag with nine in for 68p. I also bought potatoes, melon, soft cheese, broccoli, cream crackers, and mushrooms. These should keep me going for a few days.

My favourite vet programme is back on Channel 4, anyone watching Supervet? Noel Fitzpatrick is a saint, he cares so much about his patients and their owners. He is a wonderful gorgeous man. If you haven't seen it yet, watch it with this link. (possibly UK only). You will need a box of tissues.

Watch how he fits a cat with two new bionic feet.


Catch you tomorrow. Toodle pip.

Inspiring you to walk

Hello. I've gone through your comments again and picked out the questions which need a reply.
Linda asks, 'What is through the archway to the hotel, in South Cave?' I didn't take any pictures because I didn't have time and I have been there before. If you look at this post you will see the hotel and the pond in the extensive grounds.

Mary asks, 'Which of my walks have I enjoyed most?' Difficult to pick one out, Mary. There's been good and bad parts in all of them. No particular one stands out as the best. I liked the excitement and challenge of the first one, Blackpool to the Humber Bridge, but the last day of 30 miles was a killer. The River Trent walk was the easiest because the B & B's were booked in advance. The downside was walking to a timetable. Morecambe to the Humber Bridge was the longest at 162 miles, and passed through some beautiful Yorkshire countryside. The North East Tyne to the Humber was the most varied, passing through industrial areas as well as the coast and moors.

Lori asks, 'What is an AA box?' The Automobile Association is a recovery service, you pay a membership fee and they come and rescue you if your car breaks down. In the early days, before mobile phones, they had AA boxes all over the country, and the members had a key to unlock the door. Inside was a telephone, so you could call someone for help. Nowadays everyone has a mobile so the boxes are no longer needed.

Kathy asks, 'What has been my favourite part of the walk?' After the Yorkshire Dales and villages, it is the nice people I have met. Everyone is friendly when you travel alone with a rucksack.

Anon asks, 'I should have asked for sponsors for the cat rescue charity?' I love it that people want to help, but at the moment we have enough money to cover our costs. We collect bricabrac to sell at car boot sales and events. Of course if anyone offers money we would gratefully receive it, but I am not happy about asking people for sponsorship knowing that they may be struggling to survive on their income. No one should feel obliged, or be made to feel guilty if they are unable to afford to give to charity. I feel quite strongly about that. Also, I do not donate myself to any request of sponsorship via 'Just Giving'. I do not put my bank or card details into a web site, I don't trust it, so I wouldn't ask anyone else to. If I want to give to charity I give cash locally or send a cheque through the post. Thank you to those who would like to sponsor my walks, I would be happy if you gave a small donation to your local charity, but only if you can afford it.

Gam Kau asks, How heavy is my rucksack?' Sorry I don't know, I haven't weighed it  Heavy ish.

Janey asks for a map of the track I took? I am not technically minded enough to transfer all that information to the blog. I do a rough check of the daily and total miles on a web site called Bikehike, and when I have finished the walk I check exact miles. I could take screenshots from there but it would take hours to do that. 158 miles of walking covers a lot of maps, I could photograph them but you wouldn't get much detail.

Anon asks about hostels. Sleeping arrangements, privacy and security. Hostels have mainly dormitories from four beds to twelve beds. Some now have private double and family rooms. There isn't much privacy if you share a dorm if it is full. Some have en suite, but most are separate shower and toilet facilities. But hey, all girls together, nobody bothers. Some hostels have lockers in the dorms, which are lockable, you need to take a small padlock and key. Those without lockers you keep all your valuables on your person. I use a bum bag and a money belt.  Take a look at Kettlewell Hostel to give you an idea.

Gail asks, 'How do I plan my walk?' First I start with an idea, where do I start and where do I finish. My first ideas were train across the country, walk back. Did that three times. Follow the river from where I used to live to where I live now. River Tyne to the River Humber, some coastal walking. I tend to stick to Midlands upwards. I would like to walk further south, but it would mean two days travelling. When I have the idea I borrow maps from the library and lay them out on the floor, and study them. Looking for footpaths, towns and villages where I might find a bed. Then check distances between places. When I have worked out a possible route I usually go to this site and print out the maps I need. A tip if you use this, change print options to Landscape. I bought some OS maps for this last walk, but not all of them, because I wanted more detail for the Yorkshire Dales. If you are in an area where a lot of footpaths meet you need a clear detailed map. No, I don't use an ipad, or any electronic maps. If you do use these you still need paper maps if you are travelling over long distances. Squinting at a small screen is not the easiest way to work out a route over twenty miles. And it will need charging up.

I hope that has clarified a few points, thanks for asking. I'm pleased to read that some of you are inspired to try some walking, no matter how short the distance to start with, you can always build on it. If it is a nice day, get off the bus a few stops early and walk for 20 minutes. When I travel on a bus I am amazed at how close together the bus stops are. Yes, lots of stops are needed for people with mobility problems, but young able bodied people could easily walk a bit further. Sometimes I come back from town on the afternoon bus full of college students. I often get off at the other end of the village and finish the journey on foot.

Must go, things to do. Toodle pip.

In the mood

Oh dear, no post tonight, nothing prepared, nothing in my head, tis empty. Been sewing, and watching yoootooob vids. I've had this song buzzing around in my head for days now, don't know where it came from, it was just there. Try listening to it and NOT tapping your feet, and NOT jiggling around in your chair, and NOT going dooby dooby dooby dooby dooby do do. Betcha can't, ha ha.



By the way, Linda guessed correctly. You'll have to go back and see what she said. Snot finished yet, will unveil soon. Toodle pip.

Having a laff

I like to have a titter now and again, life doesn't always have to be dead serious, full consternation (oops big word) and angst (little word). It's best to lighten the tone a bit and not get so hung up on things going wrong or not working out right. A little trip on an uneven flagstone makes me laugh, my trip that is, it wouldn't be right to laugh at someone else who has tripped, unless they are laughing themselves of course. When I say trip, I mean without falling down, a little stumble that's all. It's not funny when someone hurts themselves. It's the silly little things that make me titter, like the umbrella that blows inside out and takes off in the wind, or the kitchen that gets blasted with soup when you lift the blender out too soon. It helps if you can see the funny side of things.

I often laugh at my own little mishaps, like the time I nearly chopped my own finger off with one of those hand held blades that you cut grass with. A sickle I think you call it. I was slashing away at the weeds in my back garden, and not making much progress, all I seemed to be doing was flattening it and not cutting it. So I had this bright idea of grabbing a tuft in my left hand and hacking it with the sickle in my right hand. Yes, I missed and sliced into my finger, ha ha. A good job I lived just down the road from the hospital, and was able to walk there with my hand wrapped in a tea towel dripping with blood. What a pillock eh, won't do that again.

There were several little mishaps when I was driving, it's normal to make mistakes, everyone does it. Like the time I unhooked an empty tank trailer from my tractor unit, at a brewery. The first thing you do is make sure you are on flat level ground, what did I do, I dropped it on a slope. There is a set order of doing things, you need to wind down the legs on the trailer first. Then disconnect the suzi's, those coloured curly cables at the back of the cab, they are the airlines and electrics and they activate the parking brake on the trailer. Then you pull the handle to release the pin, lastly drive the tractor unit away from the trailer leaving it supported by it's legs with it's brakes on. What did I do !?!? I pulled the pin first, head was in the clouds or somewhere else. This released the trailer, and because it was on a slope it parted company with the unit and rolled backwards. It landed on it's knees, (legs not down to support it), and stretched the suzi's till they bust. Ha ha, what a plonker, and how embarrassing. Had to get a fork lift truck to come and lift the front of the trailer so I could wind the legs down, and get a mechanic to come and replace the suzi's. Didn't do that again.

Ok, while I'm at it, confession time, can laugh now, not funny at the time. When I got back to the depot one night I found I was one box of 24 cans of baked beans short. All was intact when I left, rope and sheet job (tarpaulin covering the load), so where was it. I found it on the road as I was driving home in my car, bent cans and beans splattered all over the place. I quickly stopped and jumped out with a carrier bag and picked them all up. Funny that there wasn't 24 squashed cans, someone must have stopped before me and picked up the undamaged ones, ha ha. Nobody ever found out about it.

Oh go on then, I'll tell you another embarrassing story, ha ha. I was at the Lucas factory in Birmingham collecting some machinery, they were closing it down and we were shipping all the equipment out to another site. I had a lowloader trailer which only just fit through the gates. A team of men dismantled the machines and put them on the trailer. It was my job to rope, strap, and chain everything down. I crawled slowly through the gate and started to turn onto the road, hesitating for a second to look behind me to check all was safe. Now this is every drivers nightmare, to see your load move and not be able to do anything to stop it from falling off. I held my breath and prayed, then two very tall upright machines started leaning to one side, like slow motion they fell onto the road. No one told me they were top heavy, and were filled with oil. OMG EEEEK. Everyone came out to see what had made the big bang, the road was covered in oil, the fire brigade had to be called to mop it up. The road was closed, the buses had to divert, and the police interviewed me. I wasn't laughing then, but it's funny when I look back at it now. I wasn't prosecuted, and I wasn't sacked from my job. Phew, that was close.

Hey, do you like jokes? I've found a few which might make you titter.

My tom cat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night - it turns out he likes to watch!

Man to friend, 'I've really had it with my dog, he'll chase anyone on a bike.' Friend, 'What are you going to do? Have him put down?' Man, 'No, I think I'll just take his bike away'.

A man goes for a check-up. The doctor says, 'I'm going to need a urine sample, a semen sample, a blood sample, and a stool sample.' The man replies, 'I'm in a hurry. Can I just leave my underpants?'

Two bachelors are talking about cooking. 'I got a cook book once,' says one. 'But I could never do anything with it.' 'Were the recipes too hard?' asks the other. 'No,' he replies. But each of the recipes began the same way - take a clean dish.....'

It's late evening and Tom's wife catches him pouring six cans of lager down the toilet. 'What on earth are you doing?' she says. Tom replies, 'Well it seems a waste, but I thought it'd save me getting up in the night.'

And now........This has got to be the funniest Mr Bean ever.



It's good to laff. Toodle pip

A mishmash post

This is going to be a bit of a mishmash of a post, not really sure what to write about so I'll chuck a few things in the pot. First off, how to make a cheap veg curry. Buy two packs of yellow sticker, reduced, prepared vegetables, cost 50p. Chuck in a pan, in my case, a new pan, ha ha.

Add, curry powder, turmeric, two veg stock cubes cheap value brand will do, black pepper, mixed herbs, and some garlic out of a jar, forgot to put it in the picture.

Magic, cheap curry, enough for three days. You can add some rice if you want to, or pasta, I couldn't be bothered so ate it as it is.

Today I went to a car boot sale, it's one I haven't been to before, the other side of town, so I went to see what it was like. It was in a field, very well organised. It started at 1pm so a more civilised way of going about it, rather than the 6am start some of them have. I got there a bit early so had to wait ten minutes before they opened the gates, then it was like the charge of the light brigade. I noticed that there was a lot of stalls selling childrens toys and childrens clothes, also adult clothes, seemed a lot of denin about. I don't need any so I didn't buy. Also, some traders selling new stuff. I go to a car boot sale to buy second hand. I found two boxes of Whiskas pouches, (opened, therefore second hand), I asked the man, what happened to your cat, did it leave home. He said, our cat doesn't like this any more. Typical I thought, you get a cat what it likes, then it turns it's nose up at it. I bought the two boxes for £2, and dropped them off at Sue's for the rescue cats. While I was there, someone came to look at a cat. A very nice middle age couple decided that Charlie was the cat for them, and he seemed pretty happy with that. We aquired Charlie from a house near Liverpool, his owner had died, and the relatives couldn't find him a place in a rescue anywhere. Luckily we had a place, and now he has a new home.

I popped to town yesterday to go to the market. As I walked down the High Street I saw we have a new shop just opened. That's nice, I thought, we have a lot of empty shops, so a new one opening is good. Oh no it isn't when it is another furniture and household appliance and electrical shop, selling stuff on tick and charging extortionate interest rates. That's just what we don't need. I would rather see an empty shop than see them rip people off. It makes me so mad, another Brighthouse, my God, everything will be on credit soon. I'll have a bag of sugar please, and how much a month will that be.

I've had a letter from the RAC. They are not content with me getting breakdown cover from them, they now want to sell me life insurance. Well they can bloomin well stick it. So, I go through every bit of paper they sent me, tearing off my name and address, so the rest of it can go in the recycling box. You have to look at every piece of unwanted junk mail, because you find they have inserted your details in the application form, to save you filling it in. I never put anything out for recycling with my name and address on it. Paranoid, I don't care, no one will sift through my rubbish and steal my identity.

Here's another little rant, while I'm in the mood. Warner Leisure have got 50% off weekend getaways. More junk mail in the post. The leaflet says 3 nights from only £155 per person. Look down the list of venues on the back and there is one chuffin place in Suffolk at £155, all the rest are way above that, the dearest being £389. Then read the small print, the price is based on two people sharing. Excuse me but what about those who are single. Doesn't it make you want to chuffin spit.

I'm off to get another glass of wine. Tesco have got a very nice red South African Merlot on offer at the moment for £4. Cheers. Toodle pip.

Your turn.....

Hey, I'm having a day off today, can't be bothered to write a blog post, so I'm handing it over to you. All you peeps out there can write it for me. Howzabout it? What have you got to say then?

Here are some topic suggestions.....
What I did yesterday.
What am I going to do today.
What I do to save money.
What do I spend my money on.
What crafty things I have made.
What did I make for dinner.
Where I am planning to go on holiday.
Where do I go shopping.

And any other topic you can think of. Burnsy calls his show on the radio  a Free for all Friday, when he can't think of anything to say.

So this is the Monday Magazine, where I get to read what you have to say. Yes, you got it, basically it's a cop out, so get your thinking caps on. Ha ha. Usual rules apply. Spam will be zapped. Sarcasm and nit picking, will be zapped. Comments subject to my approval before they are published. I'll be back later to check up on you.
Toodle Pip.
PS. Anyone got any good jokes?  

Take a virtual world tour with this site.

Hi, I know some of you like my photo's and I am chuffed. I love aerial photography, not mine, ha ha, but those photo's that other people have taken from helicopters. I don't fly very often but when I do I love the views you get from the air. I shall remember forever the sight of the Grand Canyon, and Las Vegas, when I flew over in a helicopter. It was a fantastic adventure. Approaching the Scilly Isles in an eight seater aircraft was another memorable experience. Another good experience was going up in a glider at an airfield close to here. I love the way you can view the countryside, seeing it all mapped out down below.

Imagine my delight when I found this web site. AirPano fly all over the world taking aerial photographs of all the famous landmarks.
www.airpano.com

Image copyright AirPano

I've had a lot of fun with this site, the photography is stunning, and I love the way you can use your mouse to view from different viewpoints. You can look at all the amazing places in the world in glorious 360 degree photography, without leaving your armchair. Have a play with it, and maybe choose your next holiday destination.

Toodle pip.

2013 Bring it on !

Well here we are, the last day of the year. It's the time when people look back, and then look forward. I am a looking forward type of gal myself, with the ocassional look over my shoulder to see what went before. I don't think there's much point in fretting about all the things I should have done, or what I did do, but shouldn't have done. What's gone is gone, move on.

I am not going to make long lists of resolutions, probably won't make any resolutions at all, can't think of any at the minute. I have a few plans in mind, they may or may not happen, who knows.

As always, all I need to do is be happy within my own skin, and within my own head. I opt for a simple life, with me it's either or, black or white, it's the grey issues in the middle that bring me grief, I try and avoid those. I try and live an uncomplicated and stress free life. To be perfectly honest, there is only one thing that stresses me out, and you have all had a sample of this just recently. I get totally beside myself with grief when I hear about animal welfare issues. It's something I can't cope with, but I have to try. I shall continue with helping homeless cats, walking dogs, and donating to animal charities. I hope I make at least some animals lives a little better.

I will just add a little snippet of news to this bit, we rehomed two cats last week. They had been with us since March, and they are settling down just fine in their new forever home. And a bit of sad news, remember Jessica the blind dog that I used to walk, she died on Saturday night. I had an email from Julie, they have been living in Spain for the last six months, Jess was poorly for a while, it was age related. A lovely dog, full of fun and quirky ways, she had a fantastic home and a fantastic life, despite losing her sight. Much love to Jessie.

Not a lot else to say really, except I hope you have a very Happy New Year, don't get too drunk. I shall be at home with a glass of wine and my cats, probably reading a book. I hope that whatever you wish for in 2013 comes true, do your best to make it happen. Thank you for reading my blog. Now have a laugh at my little video, OMG the facial expressions !!! Not rehearsed, off the top of my head, and I didn't get tarted up. What you see is what you get, ha ha.  Toodle pip. See you next year.

Using up every last scrap

Oh dear, Lucie has asked for the recipe for Pea Soup. Hello Lucie, I guess you haven't been reading me for very long, it's just that I erm.....don't do recipes. All my meals are made up, I just throw in whatever I have and hope it comes out sort of edible. Let's see if I can remember what I put in it. Well, there was peas, a 1kg bag of frozen mushy peas. Then I think I put in some turmeric, black pepper, toasted sesame seed oil, veg stock cube. Can't think of anything else, you could put in whatever you like. I simmered it for 30 minutes like it said on the packet, then zapped it with the stick blender. I only bought the peas because they were cheap, I won't be buying such a big bag again, will stick to tinned mushy peas in future.

I don't seem to be getting much done at the moment, the days are very short, and I cannot get my arse into gear and hurry up with anything. I can be the worst idler at times. I don't get out of bed till after nine in the mornings, there's half the day gone for a start. Then I potter about flitting from one little job to the next. I'm still sorting the spare room, it's looking a bit better, and it's less cluttered. I found some off cuts of the gazebo roof I found in a skip. Do you remember, I made a lot of shopping bags out of it, about twelve I think. I still use the bags every time I go shopping, they are brilliant and very strong. I got a bit fed up of making them and the bits I had left got pushed to one side and got lost.

I think I can get two more bags out of the pieces I have left. This will make one bag......

and hopefully I will get another bag out of this higgledy piggledy lot of odd shapes. So this is my challenge, will I get a shopping bag out of these pieces? I shall give it a go, I don't want to throw them away.

Toodle pip.

Doing my duty

Oh my word, I've been summonsed to go to court, what a shock. When I saw the return address on the back of the brown envelope this morning, 'Her Majesty's Courts Service', I thought oh heck, what have I done now. Have I done something naughty, break a speed limit, or drive through a red light perhaps. I hate getting official letters, me an honest citizen of the United Kingdom, I try my best to keep to the letter of the law. If I have inadvertantly crossed the line I am truly sorry, please let me off lightly and I promise never to do it again.

I tore open the top of the envelope and cautiously peered inside. Oooh look, a letter on pink paper with a pink heading, Jury Summons. Oh no, I don't want to do it. Boohoo, flippin heck, these things can get very complicated and take ages. I might get locked in the jury room with a lot of other people and not let out untill we arrive at a verdict. I might have to listen to a horrible and gory case full of blood and guts. I might get upset. I might want to go to the toilet in the middle of it, what will I do, put my hand up and asked to be excused. Oh dear.

I don't think I'm going to be able to get out of it, you can get into big trouble if you refuse to go without a valid excuse, or if you don't turn up. It's a £1,000 fine, yikes! I've got to fill the form out and send it back within seven days.

There's one good thing about it, although I can't claim for loss of earnings I can claim for travelling costs and a meal allowance. So if I take sandwiches I get to keep the money for my lunch, and I should make a few bob on the car allowance as it's a 70 mile round trip. If I have to attend for the full ten days I should have a bit of profit. My God, that's 700 miles, I could go to Scotland and back for that. Maybe not so good after all.

Anyway, it's not going to happen till the new year, plenty of time to get my head around it. Just had a thought, I might not have much to blog about while I am doing my duty, it's all got to be secret. Oh heck, I'd better start composing a few articles to fill the gaps, ha ha. Toodle pip. 

Oooh la la William

What a plonker, why didn't I think of that before. Of course, just take a few snaps of William, from the TV programme Amazing Spaces. The company hasn't replied to my email, but never mind I can post these pics so you can see what a hot guy he is. Phwoar, I've come over all strange, ha ha.

What do you think ladies, I wouldn't mind finding him in my Christmas stocking. He is also a clever chappie, as well as being good looking, he is a master craftsman. I like a man with something between his ears ;o)) Take a look at his two websites
http://williamhardiedesign.com/invent/
http://williamhardiedesign.com/

What have I been doing today besides dreaming of William. Been working on the masterpiece quite a lot, it's coming along nicely and I am pleased with it so far. I am not showing it untill it's finished, so be patient. I think it's got a very good chance of selling for £1,000, after all it is an original, nothing like it in the whole wide world.

Just a quick note about trolls, mine has been back today. If you see any derogatory comments about me just ignore them. I know you want to spit back, but that is just the reaction the troll wants. Don't give them the satisfaction. I am on the zap button this end, it's easy to get rid of them.
Toodle pip.

My dream man

I wanted to post a picture of a gorgeous, sexy hunk of a man on here tonight, but I can't find a still photo of him. I have tried stopping the video at just the right moment hoping I can copy and paste, but it isn't working. I have tried embedding the whole video on here from yootoob, but it is not available to embed. Oh frustrations I wanted to show you this Greek God of a man.

The hunk is called William and I have fallen for him big time. As soon as I saw him I thought phwoar, he is so mind bogglingly handsome. He's the sort of guy I would definitely go for if I was a few years younger. I'm thinking I might chat him up if I ever get to meet him, stuff the age gap, what difference does 30 odd years make. I certainly feel like I am younger in my head, and my body isn't falling apart just yet, I think I should go for it. I think I should become a groupie and hang around his place of work. Or perhaps I could become a couger, I don't think I'm too old for that.

I'm going to have to put the link to the TV programme on here so you can have a butchers at this Adonis, I think you will agree he is the best looking guy you have ever seen. Sorry to the overseas readers who might not be able to access the programme. It's on Chanel 4. In fact the whole series is fascinating. Worth watching all four programmes if you haven't seen it yet. There is one more programme left to be broadcast.

Link to George Clarke's programme, Amazing Spaces. William is the guy who is renovating Georges caravan. What do you think girls, hunk or what :o))
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/george-clarkes-amazing-spaces/4od#3425742
There is only four days left on this first episode.

Here is the same thing on a yootoob link.
http://youtu.be/e4n0WVoeg6s

Simple solution to an irritating problem

I've had a problem with my pillow for ages, and it's very annoying. About time I thought of a solution. It's got real feathers in it, lovely and soft when fluffed up with a good pummelling, but as the night goes on my head sinks lower and lower into it and all the stuffing is moved to the ends. It finishes up like a gigantic pair of ear muffs. I am fed up of having to sit up in bed and give it a good bash two or three times a night to restore it to it's original height.  

Seems to me that the pillow is too big for the amount of feathers, there are not enough to fill it. As I haven't got any feathers to add, then I need to reduce the size of the cover. Clever eh, ha ha. So I shook the pillow so the feathers fell to one end, and made a seam with the machine, three inches away from the end. Therefore making the pillow smaller.

Magic, one fluffy pillow. Let's hope it stays like that all night long, I'll let you know tomorrow. You could probably do the same with any pillow with any stuffing. They do tend to go flat after a while. Give it a whirl if you have any well used flat old pillows, maybe you'll get another year out of them. This is my top money saving tip for today.

I've noticed there are some new followers, welcome to my humble abode everyone. You don't have to take your shoes off to come in here, be carefull where you sit, there are a lot of cat hairs about. I will get round to getting the Dyson out eventually. No airs and graces here, take me as you find me.

I am slowly getting round to looking at your blogs, here are a few of the links.
My friend Dibble has recently started a blog, I say friend but we have only ever met on www.walkingforum.co.uk  I feel like I already know her quite well. She has some lovely pics of the Lake District where she is lucky enough to live.
http://dibbleway.blogspot.co.uk/

Take a look at Vintage Vixen here. http://vintagevixon.blogspot.co.uk/ Some great fashion ideas.

Here is another good one, Kay from Cornwall writes about allsorts, this is what she says,
would love to be as dedicated to frugal blogging as some of my fellow bloggers but personally, I find that writing about lots of different things on my blog keeps it fun for me to write.
http://countrylivingblog.blogspot.co.uk/

If you're interested in life on a farm, this is for you
http://www.jimandkimscountrylife.blogspot.co.uk/

This is Alison's blog, all things simple.
http://jenacassimpleliving.blogspot.co.uk/

Here is Theresa's blog, cooking and crafts.
http://seasonalbunny.blogspot.co.uk/

Phew, there's a few to be going on with, you'll never be off the computer now, ha ha. Happy reading.

Kitty news. We have recently rehomed a cat which has been in our care for about eight months. Bow is a long haired pretty pussy who can be a bit of a handfull, she likes to be in charge and tells you so. Luckily someone came along to offer her a home in the perfect environment. A house in a very small village, middle aged couple, she will be the only cat, and will have the run of the house and garden. Suits her down to the ground. No doubt she will be setting her own ground rules, and the new owners will soon become her slaves, ha ha. We are pleased she has a new home.

Thank you for reading, off to do a bit more painting, the new masterpiece is coming along nicely.
Toodle pip

A few notes while I'm waiting

It's worse than watching paint dry. Have you ever tried to upload a video onto yootoob? It takes forever and a day. I started it off about 3pm, and it still isn't done at 7.30pm. Hang on, I'll have a look at where it's at, 65% so far, good grief I'll be here all night at this rate. The video is only about nine minutes long, why it takes this long completely baffles me. There must be a quicker way of doing it, at this rate it would take a fortnight to upload a film. Anyway, I'll carry on and see if it is ready by the time I finish putting a few words down here.

I took some books back to the library today, there was three out of the six I previously posted about, which I didn't read cover to cover. I got half way through the Peter Purves autobiography and was bored with it. It was a plodding book, an account of his family, his school, and his working life. Not much humour, not much passion, just plodding. While I was reading it I could imagine what his voice might sound like if he was reading it out aloud, probably all one tone with no expression. I flitted through the last half and that was that.

I didn't read the Doreen Tovey book, just picked bits out of it. I tried to read it, I started at the beginning, but there wasn't much story to it, not much was happening. Just what the cats and the donkey did next. The Remembering the High Street book was more like a magazing in hardback, not the sort of book you need to start at the beginning with. I picked the interesting bits out and looked at the old photographs. It's the sort of book you can go back to at a later date and read a bit more.

I chose three new books. Worth Fighting For by Lisa Swayze. The first chapter is about how she met Patrick, the second chapter is called The Diagnosis, so it looks like most of the book is about the 21 months of his illness before he died, and how Lisa managed to cope afterwards. My second choice is a book about Walking the Pennine Way, by Simon Armitage. Right up my street, or should I say footpath. The third choice is A Countryman's Lot by Max Hardcastle. It's a biography about a couple who move to a smallholding in the Yorkshire Dales. I found this book in the large print section, does this mean I will be able to read it more quickly than a conventional size print book, ha ha.

Just checked yootoob, we're on 82% so it's getting there. Keep typing. I've made a start on another body panel art work today I've been turning ideas over in my mind for the past few days, trying to decide what I could do with it. I wanted to drill some holes in it and borrowed a friends power drill, but the two test holes I did took quite a bit of effort. I thought the drill would cut through the plastic in no time, but it was pretty tough. Spose it has to be as it's part of a car body. Wouldn't do to be a piece of flimsy plastic which would crumple on the slightest impact. Anyway, I might give up on the holes idea, I have another idea which involves just paint. You'll have to wait for the finished article, being creative doesn't happen in a flash, us artists need to visualise our masterpieces before we can put the ideas into action, ha ha.

Gawd, only on 87% now. I think I'll go and make a drink while I'm waiting. Right, I'm back, are you still there, or have you fallen asleep waiting. The video is done. So toodle pip, I'll sign off and leave you to it.