Tuesday 18 August 2020

In memory of Heidi

It is with a very sad heart that I have had to say goodbye to Heidi. Trying and failing to get through this post without bawling my eyes out. She stopped eating again, another trip to the vet, my dear friend Janet came with me. It was very difficult to make the decision, especially while standing in the busy car park next to a noisy road, speaking to the vet on the mobile. She had come out to collect Heidi, I explained what had happened, she took her inside for an examination, then rang me to tell me what the options were. 

Heidi's stomach was full of fluid, the vet had taken a sample, and said it could be either liver or kidneys. They could do a blood test which would give more information, but as such, these problems would not be treatable in the long term. At first I thought I might have the test, but very quickly realised that it wouldn't be fair to put her through more trauma, which would only delay the outcome, just for the sake of a month or so, possibly less. She had already had a lifetime of medication and vets visits due to her leukaemia. The vet told me early on that she would not live to a normal cats life. Even though I knew this, it's still upsetting when the time comes. I had to do the best for her. 

They have a private garden area at the back of the surgery, Heidi had an injection to sedate her and was brought out to us in her carrier. I was able to hold her head and say goodbye, she knew I was there as she drifted off to sleep. 

Heidi came to me with four kittens, she was found living rough. The pens were full at the rescue so I made up a room for them here. The kittens were found homes when they were old enough. 

A few pictures. Anywhere I was working she wanted to be.



She loved to look around the garden. The appointment to take her was 4.20pm, while we were waiting I carried her out into the garden so she could have an hour or so in the sunshine. This picture was taken a few years ago. She was very tired on the last day. 

I kept records, every day she had a tablet, sometimes medicine to control her sickness. 

She has a plot in the garden next to Bugsy. 

My little sweetheart is now at rest. She was nine years old. Best wishes,   ilona

91 comments:

  1. So sad Ilona lots of love Jane from Derby

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  2. I do know how hard it is to make that decision for a pet who you love and is part of your family. My heart goes out to you. Think of the happy times with Heidi and how you showed her your love.

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  3. I'm so sorry, Ilona. You gave her the best life, and she loved you in return. X

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  4. So sorry for your loss. Heidi was very lucky that you found each other and that you gave her such a wonderful life.
    Take care.

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  5. I'm so very sorry to hear this Ilona. I've had cats for years - all rescues - and it's the hardest thing to make this decision. Take good care of yourself over the coming days 💕 Rest easy Heidi x

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  6. So sorry for your loss Ilona x

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  7. Oh Ilona, I'm so sorry to hear about little Heidi, but as ever, you did the beat thing possible for her.
    You gave her a truly wonderful life, with warmth, food, comfort and love, and she'll be with you forever in your heart.
    X

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  8. So sorry to hear your news. She couldn't have had a better life and gave you a lot of joy. It never gets any easier to lose a beloved family member, whether person or animal.
    Best wishes
    Ellie

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  9. Sit is so sad to loose a pet, they are just like family. Sorry for your loss. Hugs.

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  10. So sorry for your loss, Ilona - it's always a sad day when we have to say goodbye... Love and hugs, Margaret xx

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  11. I am so sorry for your loss of Heidi.

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  12. I am crying. You loved her so much and gave her the best life possible. I am so grateful that you were able to hold her at the last.

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  13. Oh Ilona i am also sorry i am also in tears. I was in a similar situation had to say goodbye to a lovely male cat over 4 years and it was heart breaking. You gave her a lovely life xxx

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  14. I am so sorry IIona but you gave Heidi a good life.

    Love
    Hazel c uk

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  15. So very sorry on the passing of your sweet Heidi. As a pet parent for more than 30 years I know how difficult and heartbreaking it is to say goodbye. You gave her a great life with love & caring. May your memories comfort you, love never ends.

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  16. Such a lovely little cat and she had a great life with you. That last act was the kindest and most loving thing you could do for her. Much love to you.
    xx

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  17. This is indeed sad news. They always take a piece of our hearts with them. She had best life she could have, you made it possible.

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  18. So sad to read this, they are our children, it's the hardest decision you ever have to make, but always quality of life comes before our feelings.

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  19. My heart goes out to you Ilona. Xx

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  20. I'm so sorry to read this, Ilona. X

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  21. Sorry to hear this! Sleep peacefully little Heidi - taken far too soon. xx

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  22. So sorry to read this. A horrible decision to make but you did the right thing.

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  23. sorry about the passing of your beautiful cat Ilona. she had a good life with you , you were both very lucky to have had each other x Alana

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  24. Oh Ilona, I'm so very very sorry to hear about Heidi. Of course I could tell you that she lived a wonderful life. I could tell you that she knew where to go to find a loving home. I could tell you how lucky she was. I could tell you that she knew you were there at the last moments and that you loved her. I could tell you all these things but... you already know them. Please also know my heart & prayers are there with you, as I know first-hand your pain. I am giving you a gentle cyber hug with this message. Love, Andrea xoxo

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  25. Another sad time for you Ilona. Thank you for sharing the photo's of lovely Heidi, she had a very happy life with you, thinking of you xx

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  26. I'm so sorry. You gave her a wonderful life.

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  27. So sorry to read this Ilona. I know you always did your best for her but as you say that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. Take care, Vx

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  28. You gave her a good life after she obviously had a hard beginning. She repaid you well in return. Good memories xx

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  29. So very sorry to read of the loss of your little pet. Take Care I do know how you feel as have been on this journey myself

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  30. No longer at your side but forever in your heart x

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  31. So, so sorry you had to say goodbye to your special girl. All of us pet lovers mourn with you. Feel the big hugs from across the pond.

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  32. Hi Ilona, so sorry to read this, Heidi was such a sweetheart and you took good care of her till the very end. You’re in my thoughts.

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  33. So sad for you. Happened to us recently too.we love them so much. Condolences and love xxx

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  34. So sorry llona, heartfelt condolences to you xx

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  35. It is very sad news,but you do the best for her.Condolences and strong huggs for you.She is very happy close to you.She is sleeping now and one day I hope you meet her.A lot of love,greetings

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  36. I'm so sorry to hear this Ilona. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so glad you were able to be there for her at the end. Sending love x

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  37. Hi Ilona, so sorry to hear this I know how much your cats mean to you. Heidi had a wonderful life with you.

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  38. I’m so sorry Ilona. Heidi was a beautiful loving friend and you gave her the best life a cat could have.

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  39. I'm very sorry to read this, it's just so sad. My cats have all been rescues, save one who was from a friend, and they are so special, loving, and loved.
    Love to you, Ilona.
    Mary

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  40. You have my sympathies - making that decision and saying goodbye to a beloved pet is heart-wrenching. You gave her much love in her life, and the fact she was by you all the time says what she thought about you - her special person. Sleep tight Heidi.

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  41. I am so sorry.
    I'm glad that Heidi had a good life with you. She sounds like she was a sweet kitty.

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  42. I am very sorry to read this. You are a lovely lady and Heidi a lovely cat xxxx

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  43. It's very hard when one of your closet friends is no longer around, I still check to see where our beloved dog is until I remember he's no longer here by my bed at night. Knowing when to be courageous and let our furry companions have the peace they deserve is the most selfless act we as pet parents can give them. Sorry for your loss, thinking off you. Dawn

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  44. Oh Ilona,my heart is breaking for you.I am sorry sorry for your loss of Heidi.I know how much you love and care for your animals and give them the best life they could possibly have.I will miss seeing and hearing about her,but I know that she will live on forever in your heart.My love to you and Mayze and Oscar.God bless Heidi,xxxx

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  45. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's dreadfully painful when we have to say goodbye to our furry friends who we love with all our heart. Sending hugs xx

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  46. I'm so sorry. Sending love to you x

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  47. Not as long a life as a cat has a right to expect these days (except they don't expect anything which is why you made the right decision)... but what a quality you made sure she had Ilona, right to the last moment.

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  48. Dear Ilona. I was so upset to read your post. Little Heidi was a beautiful cat, I remember seeing her in your videos many a time. You gave her a loving home and a happy life. She is at rest now and in no more pain. Thinking of you at this sad time xx

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  49. A special fur baby who was loved so much. Nothing l can say can make things better for you my lovely my heart goes out to you.
    Love and hugs xxx

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  50. So sorry that you have lost your sweet little cat Heidi never gets any easier to lose a pet but one day you will see her again over the rainbow bridge.

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  51. So very sorry...they bring such joy into our lives and you gave her a wonderful few years. Arilx

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  52. You loved her enough to set her free. You are a good human. Run Free Heidi!

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  53. Heidi was a wise and lucky kitty to choose you as her Mum, Ilona. Sending you peace and hugs. These cats of ours bring us so much joy, yet always break our hearts. x

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  54. So sorry for your loss Ilona. You gave her a wonderful home and lots of love while she was on this earth. RIP Heidi.

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  55. So sorry you've lost your furry pal.Thinking of you at this heartbreaking time xx

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  56. So sorry you lost your friend

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  57. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful Heidi. The love you gave to her Illona was returned to you over and over again.

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  58. It is never easy losing a fur baby. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  59. Im so sorry Ilona you were so kind to Heidi she was a very pretty girl. Know exactly how you feel. Love Liz Amy and Benny.xxxx

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  60. I'm so sorry and sad to read about Heidi, it's very heartbreaking having to say goodbye. Take good care Ilona xx

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  61. I’m sorry. She was beautiful and sweet.

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  62. So sorry to hear of the loss of your fur baby. She had a wonderful life with such a caring owner. Thinking of you and sending you hugs.

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  63. I am so sorry for your loss.
    I fear I may soon be in the same situation with my 16 year old girl. She is a tuxedo cat like Heidi.

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  64. I am heartbrken to hear your sad sad news. I love my cat so much i can ony imagine what you are going through. Shes had the best life she could have had as you were her mumma. Biggest hugs to you ILona.

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  65. You did the right thing.💐and from the start she had, she couldn't have wished for a better home. So sorry for your loss. Sending best wishes love Leigh.💜xx

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  66. So very sorry to hear the sad news about Heidi. We become so attached to our pets don't we, they are our family and a big part of our daily lives and you will miss her dearly. Be comforted by the thought that you gave her a good life and provided for her with lots of love and cuddles. She knew she was loved. xx

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  67. Very sorry for the loss of your dear little Heidi.

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  68. I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely Heidi. Much love to you.

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  69. Dear Ilona you were the best mother that Heidi could have had.such a super cat.may she rest in peace.

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  70. So very sorry. They take a little bit of your heart with them when they go. Bless Heidi.

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  71. So very sorry Ilona -- I know well how much this hurts. You were the best possible mom to Heidi. I am saddened at your loss.

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  72. So sorry for your loss. I am a regular reader from upstate NY.

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  73. That dear little pussycat had the best life with you. I'm welling up reading this. So very, very sorry xxxx

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  74. You did the kindest thing for her and the hardest thing for you. Hugs. xx

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  75. So very sorry Ilona about your loss. She had a very happy life with you.xx

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  76. oh no! so sorry to read this Jo x

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  77. Hugs from Florida. She was a beautiful girl.

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  78. Ilona, I have been reading your blog almost as long as you had Heidi. I know you are going to miss her, but you did the right thing. How wonderful it was to have her as long as you did!
    --Maxine

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  79. I'm so sorry for your loss, Ilona. I've been in the same difficult position. It's so difficult to say farewell to our friends. Thank you for sharing Heidi with us. <3 Blessings.

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  80. so so sorry for this sad loss x shes a beauty and your a wonderful cat mum x

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  81. I'm so sorry to hear this. It's so hard to lose our babies. Take care and remember how much you loved each other.

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  82. So sorry about Heidi. You gave her a wonderful life and a peaceful end.

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  83. I am so sorry for your loss of this beautiful cat. Over the years I have been exactly where you are with these feelings. Now again, I have 5 rescue sweet ones, and one is not doing well. My mom always told me that when we lost an animal to know that this animal had a good life when they were with us. I loved your pictures of this beautiful cat, and know she had a good life with you. You are in my thoughts & prayers. Mary Ann Cauthen

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  84. Oh so very sorry to hear your sad news Ilona. I lost my Oscar a few weeks ago. It's the price we pay for loving them.

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  85. My goodness! Only just read this post Ilona. I am very sorry for your loss. Heidi was beautiful and you gave her a very happy life. x

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  86. Thank you all very much for your kind wishes. Much appreciated. xxx

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  87. Oh Ilona, I'm so sorry to read this! They leave such a big hole in our hearts. You gave her such a good life. {{{Hugs}}} for what it's worth.

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  88. Oh Ilona, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Our fur babies feel our lives with such joy. I know she very much enjoyed life at the towers ♥️♥️. Sending love and hugs!!!

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