Good morning. Lack of post yesterday was due to not a sodding thing to write about, ha ha. Sometimes my head is like an empty can of baked beans, the lid is off and the contents are on their way down the hill to the sewage works. Not a bean left. However, as luck would have it, I wake up each morning with a fresh unopend can full of beans. I was out walking half an hour ago, just around the village, and something struck me. All kinds of thoughts flit in and out of my mind when I am bimbling, trying to make sense of life, emotions, feelings, and general well being, or not.
Suddenly I thought of the word 'lust', hmmm. that's interesting, don't know where it came from. When I put one foot in front of the other, striding along, I feel the urge coming over me to walk further. I can block out everything that is going on in my life when I walk. Walking gives me a legal high, who needs drugs, not I, ha ha. Walking is my drug of choice. I feel the surge of energy that walking gives me, I feel like I'm on top of the game. I actually lust after walking, the more steps I take, the stronger the lust.
Walking makes me feel in control, my mind and body are in sync, working together in perfect harmony. There is a saying about a healthy body is a healthy mind, my brain sure turns to mush if I sit around all day, but comes alive when I am out in the open air. I definately lust after walking. Anyway, I'm not going to bang on about the benefits of walking, it's just an example of how lust can shape your life.
I looked up the word lust, some interesting definitions. This is what Wikipedia says.
Lust is an intense desire or craving. Lust can take many forms such as the lust for knowledge, the lust for sex or the lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as the lust for food as distinct from the need for food. Lust is a powerful psychological feeling producing intense wanting for an object, or circumstance.
I've had a few lusts in my life, but most of them could be downgraded to passions rather than strong cravings. I definately lust after vegetables at the moment, but like most people I have lusted after chocolate and sweets. This possibly stems from childhood, when we didn't have much money for spending on sugary things, and mum wouldn't let us leave the table without eating our vegetables. I hated vegetables then, and as soon as I left school and started earning money, I made sure I bought sweets and chocolate. Funny how things change, I'm glad I've seen the light and now I've gone full circle. I'm back to eating my greens and having the occasional chocolate bar as a treat.
Hmm, 'intense desire or craving', Learning how to curb cravings is the best thing we can do for ourselves, for they can be our downfall. I don't feel the need to curb my lust for walking and vegetables just yet, as I feel they are doing me no harm. Maybe if I become doddery and fall, or I become so obsessed with vegetables that my diet is lacking in other nutrients, then that would be the time to put a halt to it.
This has got me thinking about how my other desires and cravings have changed throughout my life. When I was a teenager, my passion for keeping up with the fashion was hugely important to me, I craved to fit in with the gang. I spent all my money on fashion magazines, makeup, clothes, hairdo's and going out to all the right places. I craved to be the centre of attention at the Disco's. If I'd have carried on like that my life would have been quite shallow I think, where looks mattered before the substance of a person. I was guilty of chasing after the best looking boys. I was dead chuffed when I pulled Stan, as my friend Rita, far better looking than me, had been after him for ages. Funny how your mindest changes as you gain a wider perspective on life. Now, after years of craving confirmation that I was attractive to the opposite sex, I can now say, that I don't give a stuff any more about what people think of me, I don't have to play act. Spinster of the Parish, that's me, and proud of it.
There comes a time when lusting after something so intensley becomes destructive. One can surely become obsessed which in turn can lead to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Now I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist, but I guess this is not a good place to be. I am able to control my lusts, because I believe there are good lusts and bad lusts. My lust for walking and vegetables are doing me no harm at the moment, indeed they are beneficial to my well being. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my strength of character will see me through, and I won't need the emotional crutch of chocolate or booze, or fags, or any other body rotting substances. Maybe I'll feel differently when I am on my deathbed, by then it's too late. Just give me loads of chocolate so I can stuff myself into oblivion, ha ha.
Now tell me about your good lusts, and your bad lusts, c'mon, confession time.
The garden in early February
4 hours ago