Appless, no not Apples

Something caught my attention on the radio the other day. The lady presenter was standing in for whoever hosts that programme but is away on holiday. Isn't it anoying when you switch stations because you want to listen to a particular person's bright and breezy chat, and find some other bod has taken their place because they have gone swanning off to some warm and tropical far away land. How inconsiderate of them.

Anyway, the stand in, or maybe she was sitting down, was going on about Apps, asking people to phone in, or email, or text, and offer suggestions for new Apps to be invented to help them in their daily lives. One person asked for an App to plan which clothes she should wear for the following week, a bit like meal planning in a way. I am totally confused, can't she just open her wardrobe and peruse the hanging garments and select one or two items?

Forgive me for being thick, but I have to ask, what is an App anyway? OK, so it's short for Application, but how do you get an App, where does it come from, and where do you put it? Can I pick one up, does it go off, can I see it, can I touch it, does it smell? Am I missing out because I don't have any Apps? Oh my goodness, I am incomplete if I don't have an App.

Every day you hear or read someting about Apps, telling you to get the latest one, how it will make life a lot easier. I feel I'm missing out, now I'm getting real panicky because I don't have any Apps. If I start collecting Apps, where do I store them, how many will I need, I have enough clutter already I don't want any more to sort out.

I found this after googlying App....
Apps made for blablabla are apps like no other. They’re big, beautiful, full-screen apps that make the most of all the amazing technology inside blablabla. And you’ll find apps in just about every category imaginable. Download apps for work, school or just plain fun. With over 300,000 apps to choose from, there’s no telling where the next tap will take you.

Aha, so I've got to download them, but from where to where? and threehundred thousand of them, good God, where will I put all those Apps? I haven't got anything big enough for all that lot. My spare room with be chocablock with boxes of Apps, I won't be able to get in there.

Apps for fun, don't I have enough of that already? Apps for work, I don't do any, and Apps for school, no thanks, I would rather take my place in the University of Life. And as for 'no telling where the next tap will take you', I think I would rather know where I am going.

Will having Apps, make my life any better, will they make it more enjoyable? I'm struggling to decide what kind of App I might need, one that would benefit me. The only one I can think of is something to make my brain more imaginative, to be more inventive in my crafting and art, to give me more ideas for blogging, and how to get more than 24 hours out of a day. If I can't find one for all that, I'll not bother. I will remain Appless.