Saturday, 15 May 2021

Comments are optional.

Reading all the comments that have appeared on John's blog after he announced that he was taking a few days off, has made me realise how happy I am that some of my readers have fallen by the wayside. I suspect that is because they don't like what I say, which is fine by me. 

A few years ago when people were clamouring for money saving tips, and how to live frugally, it was a massive job for me to give people exactly what they were looking for. I put myself out there, passing on what I had learnt, trying to help others with their budgets, on television, radio, newspapers and magazines. The pressure was on to know all the answers, and share them. 

Years previously I was in a similar situation, being the only female lorry driver around. All of a sudden I was the star of the show, everyone wanted to know me. I started the Lady Truckers Club because I wanted to help other women get into the business. I built a support network. I put myself out there, and for a few years all I was doing was driving full time and running the club. I didn't have any time for anything else. 

John has built up an army of followers with his imaginative and sensitive writings. His compassion for the human race is admirable. He shares every aspect of his life, and people want more, the pressure is on him to keep going. 

I do not want to be in that position. When I see how dependent people are on their daily dose of life in a Welsh village, with outpourings of sadness when it comes to a halt, I find that quite worrying. 

I can only take so much responsibility for other people. When it reaches the point of saturation I have to stop. I have to pull up the drawbridge and say no more. I will only give so much. Ok, it is nice to know when someone cares for me, when someone values what I do, but I don't need constant reminders. 

The pressure to perform can be overwhelming, the only way to cope with that is to step back, have a breathing space. If I got a hundred comments from people saying they miss me and can't wait for the next blog post/video, I would be running for the hills. I don't want that. 

Thank you for popping in. Comments are optional, if you feel like it, if you don't that's ok. Have a nice weekend. Toodle pip.   ilona

45 comments:

  1. I was surprised to read on your research page that you've not had the covid jab. Given it is ultimately a personal choice and you feel strongly about it, I'm not sure why you were so reluctant previously in saying whether you've had it or not?

    That said, what with all the variants now present let's hope it's not a decision you'll regret.

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    1. I delayed revealing whether I would have the jab or not, because I didn't want to be accused of peddling misinformation. The information that the Government and main stream media have put out throughout the whole debacle has been constructed to instil fear into everybody. Fear causes confusion, making it difficult to think rationally. I could see through that. There was no need for me to declare which way I was going to go.

      Now I have declared myself because there are many more people coming forward who were afraid to speak before.

      You are right, it is my personal choice, everyone has the same choice. People should do what they think is best for themselves. I won't regret it. I have always done what's best for me. I just hope that the people who have been jabbed don't live to regret it.

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    2. Good for Ilona, I will not be having the vaccine either. Your choice, my choice. I always enjoy your blog - a happy birthday to you for tomorrow.

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    3. If covid was a virus that spread through the population with few effects, a bit like a winter vomiting bug, then there would be no need for a vaccine, the population would be ill for a few days, build up immunity and the virus would run its course and fade away.
      However covid, keeps mutating and being immunised plays into that. By having the vaccine the strain will mutate and we will be playing catch up.
      What that does mean however is the ones not vaccinated will be the ones most at risk, the risk heightened by those who are vaccinated.
      Look at the hospital admissions in Bolton, the majority of those patients werent vaccinated.

      Of course it is your choice to be vaccinated, but ensure you consider all the risks.

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    4. Gill. Come back in a years time to continue this discussion. In the meantime I will avoid Bolton. By the way, it is not a vaccine.

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  2. I agree,that it must be hard to feel under pressure to blog each day.I love Johns blog too.He does make me laugh and seems like a lovely caring bloke.I have just nipped over to his blog and read the comments and I do think that most of his readers are genuine nice people...with the odd troll who cant stop themselves tapping away on their keyboard,with their spindly little fingers spewing out their bile.I admire you,John and all the other great people in blog land who share their lives with us and I think that the majority of us readers understand when a break is needed....anyway,as my usual off thread bit,lol,I was given about 25 used bricks yesterday so Im going to sit in my garden with my coffee and see what amazing ideas I can come up with,what to do with them!.Hope you have a great weekend.xx

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    1. Lucky you getting the bricks. A raised bed perhaps, or if your garden is on a slope maybe terrace it laying the brick end to end across the slope. Or, a plinth for displaying a few pot plants.

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  3. Hi Ilona. I think there are many types of blog reader. Those who enjoy a glimpse into the lives of others and leave an occasional comment. Those who like to be 'offended' and use it as a platform to vent their own pent up feelings of misery.
    Those that just feel it's polite to leave a comment when someone has taken the trouble to write.
    As social media commentry is so prevalent I suppose some people feel they 'own' the lives of bloggers and can disparage or harange them.
    I presume people blog for some interaction - unfortunately that cannot be controlled.
    Thanks for an interesting perspective.

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  4. Hi Ilona
    I do agree that nobody should feel pressured to post a blog very frequently or daily. It's your choice how often you write.
    These are strange times where long lasting friendships are being broken because of different opinions on the virus, vaccines,politics etc. Sometimes even families being torn apart. And when the current issues are yesterday's news what happens then? My best friend is estranged from her son's family just because she's chosen not to have the vaccine. It's a sad situation where people can't respect others with different views. If we all thought exactly the same then this world would be a very boring place.
    All the best x

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  5. As you mentioned how many comments John had about taking a break I thought I'd better pop over to his blog to have a look...good grief 100 comments saying how much they'll miss him.... as if he's died!!
    I had 3 days break and nobody mentioned it so now I'm feeling unloved and unwanted!! (joking obs)

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  6. Im not having the jab either, neither is my teenage son he has decided. Who is John?

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    1. John Gray from Going Gently blog.

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    2. Ah yes the man who ordered fat b*****ds instead of fat rascals.that made me laugh out loud when I read it. It’s the sort of thing I would do and my teenage son would be mortified by. I would like to try one of those cakes as they looked lovely in the photo but I looked up the recipe and it had far too many ingredients in that I don’t have and I’m pretty lazy when it comes to treat cooking.

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  7. Just be you and write when you want, what you want. We can't all agree the same on everything in life :)

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  8. Jabs done. Don't see a problem

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  9. The thing I like about you the most Ilona is you decide what's best for you and you don't get pushed around.you also stick up for yourself and follow your own path.just because we're all in this world together doesn't mean we should all think the same be the same does it.i always enjoy reading what you have to say and love the videos toox

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    1. Hi Jo. We are not all in this together. There will always be great divides in all aspects of life. I learnt early on that I don't have to like everybody, and nobody has to like me. We are all drawn to people who fit in with our ideas and emotions, and it's ok to walk away from those who don't.

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  10. When I first started reading your blog, it was one of many dedicated to frugal living. At times some seemed to be competing to be the Queen of frugal porn. It was kind of depressing to see what people would do to save a few pennies due to debt that they had run up by their own needs.

    Your blog was more basic. This is how I choose to live because I want to NOT because I've ran myself into a mountain of debt

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    1. Hi 50. I think I was a bit different. A lot of frugal bloggers start off from the point where they are already in debt. They document how they got out of it. Mine story was a bit different. I wasn't in debt and I didn't worry about cutting my hours at work which cut my income. I saw that as a new challenge. The way I live then, being careful with spending, is still applicable now. For me it's a lifestyle choice, it wasn't forced upon me.

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  11. I like reading your blog and share what you want. You are kind and considerate. I don't get very many comments on my blog posts but alot of people read my blog. I feel like it's a newspaper. Hopefully they get something good out of my posts and yours to help them in life. Have a good weekend!

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    1. Thank you Becky. I like the idea of a blog being like a newspaper, or magazine. Pick bits out of it which are of interest. Discard the rest.

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  12. That's a soothing, pastoral picture, Ilona. I've learned that for me, life seems to be about setting clear boundaries around what works for me and what doesn't. I'm responsible for me only. Having said that, I've learned some great pointers from you over the years and I thank you for sharing those.

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    1. Thank you Margaret. I am just someone you came across at one point in your life. Thank you for popping in.

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  13. That is a lot of i will miss you comments on his blog... i like to log onto here and other things when im having a coffee or eating lunch like i am now :) if i miss a few posts i look at those too,being all the way over in AU i find the pics of ur outings etc wonderful and interesting.i dont live my life in fear so will be no regrets here,and i dont think of what comes thru the tv as my mum and dad lolol i think for myself, experience for myself, research etc ears n eyes open...Louise

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    1. Pop in here when you have time. My meals are always taken in front of the computer.

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  14. I enjoy reading your blog but I would feel bad if I knew it was causing pressure on you to write every day. Just do what you want and when you want!!

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    1. Thank you. I am fine, Crystal. I post when I feel like it.

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    2. Hi Ilona. Google doesn’t like me and I can never post a comment. I’ve been following your blog for years. I might have cracked it this time though. I love your individuality and creativity and love hearing about what you’ve been up to. X

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    3. Hi Deborah. You made it this time. Nice to see you.

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    4. I know!!! Go me. Lol. X

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  15. Still here , dont always agree with you . But hey thats the cycle of life , there are so many blogs that just want praise for their scented lives and i much prefer the realistic ones .

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    1. Hi Kate. There is a niche for everyone. Look, read, stay or move on.

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  16. your blog, your life, your choice, I wonder how many parents didn't want Thalidomide or the MMR jab which was linked to autism, Dr's etc don't like it when people question things, Jo

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  17. Bonjour illona,je pense que les gens disent a john qu il leur manque avant tout par gentillesse,cela ne veut pas dire qu ils sont totalement dependants de son blog!Leur vie continue meme s il ne poste pas,et puis john est un excellent ecrivain ,bien anglais en cela;les blogs francais sont nullisimes;donc john a du plaisir a ecrire,tout le monde y trouve son compte;Bien a vous amities paule caillou

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    1. Oui, c’est un bon écrivain et il a beaucoup d’adeptes dévoués. Le point que j’essayais de faire était que cela m’inquiéterait trop si je pensais que les gens comptaient sur mon blog pour leur divertissement. Je ne veux pas être responsable du bonheur des autres. John est heureux d’avoir autant de commentaires, il aime l’attention. Meilleurs voeux.

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  18. Hi Ilona have been reading your blog for years but you seem to be in a bad place at the moment, As per your request I will not be following your bog. Some of your comments are as bad as TROLLS, your view on vaccine is your own but lots of us disagree and that is our choice as you have made yours

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    1. I am in a very good place. Perhaps this is not a good place for you. Other blogs are available.

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    2. I am not sure why Moira had to explain why she would not be following you any more. I often skip around blogs and, if I do not agree with their views, I simply move along without comment. If I have been following a blog and it takes a turn I do not like, I simply move away, again without comment.

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    3. I'm not sure either. Seems silly to announce it. Maybe she thinks I will be upset.

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Comments are welcome from anyone with a Google account. I have had to change the settings due to the amount of troll comments coming through. My apologies to genuine readers who have been with me for a long time.